


Find My Way Back

by Midnights_AM_Child



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:26:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 81,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnights_AM_Child/pseuds/Midnights_AM_Child
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being separated for over two years, Rick reunites with Michonne and his children. Fiercely determined to keep the family together, Rick doesn't register a major problem in this desire. Michonne is not his! Open to that changing, the two learn that picking up from where they left off isn't as simple as it sounds.</p>
<p>I do not own The Walking Dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Carl's Birthday

Michonne grabbed her groceries and items from Olivia. It was rare that she deviated from their weekly rations, but three times a year her household splurged: Christmas, Judith's birthday, and Carl's birthday. Although the Safe Zone provided necessities, she had to work more for it to be just the three of them. Five was the recommended quantity; her house just held three. Michonne continuously worked. She never knew when clothes, books, or medicines were needed. Judith had allergies and asthma. She had both a growing boy and girl in her home.It was a pricey combination. Carl stopped going school when he was fifteen and currently worked. He worked the fence or the garden depending on the day. Because of this, she wasn't struggling with their expenses as much.

' _You're working too hard, Michonne._ ' Michonne looked around. It was rare when she heard Rick's voice. His phantom seemed to come less and less. She knew it was good. She'd been separated from Rick Grimes for over two years now. She sometimes wondered if she really remembered what he looked like. Was she making up those piercing blue eyes or his curly brown hair? She wondered if she was over-embellishing his looks. He seemed to get more handsome with each memory. If he looked like her vision why didn't they ever hook up? She sighed. She wished she could see him again. She wanted him to know she kept her promise. His children were alive and they were safe. All they were missing was their father.

Michonne looked at her watch and cursed. There was no way she would have Carl's cake done before he got home from work. She still needed to pick Judith up from Tyreese's. She debated not going over. Tyreese probably wouldn't mind much; but, she knew that would be wrong. He had a life of his own, a job, and a girlfriend. Judith was her responsibility. She shifted the groceries in her hand and knocked on Tyreese's door.

"Hey 'Chonne," Tyreese opened the door to invite her in. Judith was sleeping on the floor next to Tyreese's dog. Michonne grimaced. She hated dogs.

Michonne nodded and walked in. "I can't stay long." She noticed Tyreese's girlfriend was there. She was also Noah's mother. The brown-skinned woman was older than Tyreese and Michonne, but she looked their age. It was evident by the perfected twist out that she cared both of her appearance and Tyreese. Michonne gave her a smirk. Perhaps she wasn't doing Tyreese any favors by coming over in that moment. She knew the couple like to serenade each other. "I could come back tomorrow. Or in the next ten minutes if you guys are that frisky."

"Girl, get your baby!" Noah's mom said laughing and covering a blush.

Michonne raised a hand in defeat. The other was still carrying groceries. She bent down and gently shook Judith. She opened her sleepy brown eyes. She wanted to keep sleeping. "No Sown, no."

Tyreese felt bad. "I could carry her or the bags, Michonne."

She declined. "No, she won't go to sleep tonight if you do that." Michonne held her hand for Judith. She cried and took it. "Judith, be quiet." She was instantly silent. During their time on the road Michonne instilled the importance of silence in the youngest Grimes. She gave her a piece of candy for listening. "Thank you, Tyreese. Yolanda, I'll see you later."

Michonne walked with Judith, hand in hand. People greeted her, the adults by her name and the children with "Carl's mom". That nickname always made her cringe. She loved Carl like a son, but she didn't know if that was appropriate. She didn't want to replace Lori. She vaguely remembered Lori's image from the picture she got for Carl. She looked at Judith who was pouting, but still silent. She was lucky to have such an attractive woman as her mother.

"Michonne," the dark-skinned mother turned to see the former priest running to her. He was sweating and smelled of soil. He worked in the gardens with Carl. He grabbed Michonne's bags. "Let me help you."

"Hi Gaybee!"

"Well hello Judy. How are you today?"

"Sown mean." Judith pouted.

Gabriel gasped. "I'll tell her to stop being so mean to you."

Judith giggled. "Yay, Gaybee!"

Michonne tried to frown. "Why do you all spoil her so much?"

"She's just so cute, Michonne... Just like her mother."

This time Michonne did frown. "Gabriel..."

Gabriel opened the door for Michonne and watched Judith while she made Carl's cake. She knew what Gabriel was going to ask her. On occasions, she would turn to him for comfort. After a pregnancy scare she stopped completely, but he still had feelings for her. He was great with Judith, Carl didn't mind him. He just wasn't what she was looking for in a partner. He wasn't a Grimes.

**Meanwhile...**

"Hey Grimes, I just saw your mama come from the commissary."

Carl grew interested. He was used to people calling Michonne his mother, he didn't even react anymore. "Oh, what cake did she buy?"

"Chocolate."

"Yes!" Carl was excited. He was supposed to be off already, but he stayed an extra hour to take care of a build up the wall was having. It gave him a boost and he worked a little faster.

"Gabriel also headed to your house."

Carl frowned. "You stalking my family now, Combs?"

"With Miss Michonne looking like she do, you bet I am."

Carl and his coworkers continued to rag on each other even after Carl clocked out. Noah replaced him and Carl went home. He walked fast at first, but thinking about his cake, he soon broke into a sprint. He almost ran into a very pregnant Rosita. He screamed his apologizes and went home. Carl opened the door and was greeted by the sweet smell of his cake and the squeals of his sister.

* * *

Michonne woke up at the crack of dawn and got ready for the run. She washed, kissed Judith, told Carl she'd return in a couple of days, grabbed stale pop-tarts, and left. "Michonne," he was waiting for her. She gave him a hard look. It was too early in the morning and she didn't want to see Gabriel. She was honestly avoiding him. "I have an early shift. I thought I'd walk you to the front gate."

Michonne noticed that there was something in his pocket. "That' all?"

Gabriel gave her a shy grin. "No." Gabriel got on one knee. "I was thinking about all that's happened between us. Us on the road... The baby..."

"There was no baby."

"But there can be. I want there to be, one day. I love you and I want to build a family with you."

"..."

Gabriel grinned in sheer embarrassment. "I'm never sure if silence is good with you."

The alert that signaled new survivors sounded. Michonne used it as her opportunity to flee the situation she was in. "...I have to go."

Gabriel caught Michonne by the wrist. "Michonne," he looked in her dark eyes with his last plea. "Will you at least think about it?"

Michonne nodded and went to join her reconnaissance group.

Michonne never got to see the newcomers. Instead, she joined her group and went scouting. They scowered Caswell County, North Carolina and didn't find much. They set traps and waited to bring the game back to Alexandria. The overall gain was fair. Personally, Michonne found a few posters for Carl and building blocks for Judith. After she got Eugene to sanitize them, she would give them to Judith for her birthday. After a week, they returned with fresh meat and knickknacks.

Michonne went to place Eugene shared with his roommates. Eugene cleaned Michonne's blocks in exchange for one of the posters she was planning on giving to Carl. It didn't take too long for Eugene to sanitize Judith toys. She told him goodbye and left. Purposely skipping Gabriel's home, Michonne went home. Michonne fumbled with her keys before finally deciding to bang on the door for Carl. "I come with booty, Grimes. I need you to open the door!"

Heavy footsteps approached the door. Michonne glared at the door. Gabriel knew better than to be in her house without permission and they were too heavy to be Carl's. She dropped the birthday gifts for the children and grabbed the hilt of her sword. The door opened. Michonne lifted the sword an inch before she let it drop again. It was Rick.

"Rick." She pulled him into a tight hug. Rick wrapped his arms around her waist and put his face in her hair. It seemed like a dream. It had been so long. She was so sure she was imaging this, but she was never able to touch her hallucinations.

Rick was also in disbelief. He had been there for days rekindling with his children. He was gone for so long. Judith was walking, talking and sassy. Carl was a man. He'd missed so much. Carl was eager to tell him about everything he missed, the last of his schooling, his jobs, when they were on the road and became detached from the group. It was painful. Rick wasn't as open when explaining his whereabouts. He'd spent about a third of a year tracking down a man who raped Tara when she went for a bath. They were held by a herd of over five thousand in South Carolina. He didn't lose anybody in his group, but Glenn lost half of his arm, Tara was attacked and they all killed, a lot. The only person he knew would understand was in his arms. He pulled from their embrace so he could stare at her. It had been hell getting to them.

"Thank you for keeping my children safe." He touched her face.

Michonne touched the calloused hand and felt his arm. She traveled to his chest and then touched his face. It was smooth; Carl must have bought his father a razor. Michonne tried to keep the tears from falling. "I'm amazed you're real." Rick showed his confusion. Michonne replayed her words. It must have sounded like she gave up hope. "I would see you, talk to you sometimes." She could no longer hold it in. "I never lost hope that you'd find us. Not one moment."

Rick kissed her forehead and rubbed his hands on her arms. "I'll never leave y'all again."

Michonne wiped her eyes. "You hungry? I've got jerky or oatmeal if you want."

"I'm fine."

"What job do they give you?"

Rick gave her an amused grin. "Isn't it obvious? I'm a constable."

Michonne smiled. "I should have known. Where are you staying?"

Rick's grin grew larger. "I'm staying here."

Michonne's smile slowly started to fade. She was happy to see Rick again. All she wanted was for him to be reunited with his children. However, he was there with her. Her heart was racing and her body was pulsating. The look in his eyes let her know the feeling was mutual. Rick looked at her with a degree of intensity that unnerved her. What had he been through that made his eyes this way? Michonne grew somewhat sad. Her arousal was gone. Rick Grimes was attractive and rugged, but she was looking in the eyes of a man she did not know.

Michonne wasn't sure she was pleased to meet him.

**(A/N) The story was going to start the moment they were separated, but the outline placed them meeting in the thirteenth chapter. Instead there will be flashbacks when relevant. As for Gabriel proposing to Michonne the only thing I will say is that this is paired Rick/Michonne for a reason. Don't forget to review.**

_**Next Chapter: Rick and Michonne think about the day they became separated.** _


	2. Breakfast

**Coda...**

Michonne looked at the discolored grey fingers coming out of the church. Michonne knew she could take care of them by herself, but she didn't like the idea of leaving Carl and Judith exposed in the woods since her attention and focus would be inside the church. Experience taught her to be alert of other people. Zombies weren't the main problem anymore. Carl had survival skills, but he couldn't handle a small herd on his own especially with Judith. Gabriel was still useless. She had been so preoccupied with Judith that she didn't notice him leave. She would not make that mistake again.

Michonne went to the doors of the church. She stabbed a few walkers trying to get out and shut the doors. She took a finger that was smashed in the doors and wrote a message.  _We're in the neighborhood. -Michonne_  "So we are running," Carl said reading her message. She could tell by his tone that he disapproved.

"We can't stay outside, not with Judith, but we aren't leaving this town without your dad."

Gabriel tapped Michonne. She turned to him, but didn't say anything. He could tell she was understandably upset with him. It seemed like everything he did made things worse for them. He didn't want to stay on her bad side. Especially after seeing what she did with Theresa. "There are places close by where we could stay." Michonne placed Judith on her back again and had Gabriel lead the way. Carl had her back. Gabriel led her to a house with a swing set in the backyard. Michonne took Carl with her to search the house. It was empty of walkers and people. Carl went to the kitchen. He opened the cabinets to see most things had been taken. Luckily what remained was baby food. Gabriel became sad. "Their son was two."

Michonne took Judith out of the sling and gave her to Carl. She didn't give the people who used to own the house much thought. Instead, she divided the baby food. She kept two jars for Judith, she was going to share the last with Carl. Gabriel would have to wait until she found them something to eat tomorrow when she checked the church for their group. She knew Rick would camp back there and send a party after them. She wasn't worried.

Michonne still wasn't worried days later when Rick and the rest that went to Atlanta didn't return. Since they were trying to extract Carol and Beth, she knew that they would try to be stealthy. Stealth was time consuming. Atlanta was also overrun. There were probably many unexpected surprises. She wouldn't worry until they were gone past a week. Carl changed Judith's diaper and gave her a bottle of formula. Michonne smiled at them both. Carl was becoming a well-rounded man. One that could defend himself and others, but at the same time nurtured. Michonne thought of Rick; he was that type of man. She couldn't wait to reunite with him. Hopefully they'd find a place for the group to settle down. They needed to find a place or make one. This town, even their setup at the church, was temporary.

The sound of the door nob rattling took Michonne out of her thoughts. She and Carl looked at each other. Michonne grabbed her sword. She waited to hear her name, hoping that it was someone from their group. Instead there was a weak attempt to break down the front door. "The door's locked. I think there's someone in there boss." Somebody slurred.

"Eh. Burn it down anyway. I want to see some lights."

Michonne got up and gathered their supplies. She pointed to the backdoor. Carl placed Judith on his back and checked the back exit. Surprisingly none of the strange men were there. Before he had time to process why, a Molotov broke through the window. Judith screamed and cried.

"You's guys hear that? That a baby?" Someone asked while throwing another bomb inside the house.

"I'll be damned, sounds like it."

Michonne pushed them out of the back of the house and silently went around. She had long ago unsheathed her sword. She didn't know what they wanted, but she wasn't going to lose her group. She was finally around the house, but didn't like what she saw. There were about fifteen people in their group, both men and women. She could smell the alcohol on them from her location. Her odds weren't good. Someone spotted Michonne. He pointed her out to what seemed to be his partner and waved. The couple shooed her away. Michonne looked at him in confusion. She didn't know if they were running her into a trap or truly trying to spare her. It didn't matter. There were too many for her to handle by herself where she was now. She met with Carl and Gabriel and pointed to the woods. Judith was still crying, but the arsonists made no moves to investigate. The roar of their laughter died with each step deeper into the woods.

"Nobody's chasing us." Gabriel realized. "Maybe we should go back. Maybe they're good people."

"No." Michonne decided. "They aren't." Just because they weren't a band of rapist and murderers didn't mean they were humanitarians. Those people didn't give a damn whether they lived or died. They were just looking for fun. There were so many of them. They really needed to find the rest of their group. They were very vulnerable at the moment. Gabriel was still freaking out and asking to turn around. Michonne grew impatient. "It's gone Gabriel."

"Then l-let's go back. Go back to the c-church."

"We're going to meet up with Glenn and Maggie."

"We don't know what's in DC! We-"

"There's no longer anywhere we can hide. You no longer have the luxury to fear. You're going to have to fight." Michonne looked in Gabriel's eyes. "You're going to have to kill." Gabriel nodded, but he was still petrified. Michonne noticed this. She looked at Carl and Judith. Carl was calm and ready. Michonne was going to keep them alive. She was already making plans to sacrifice Gabriel if it became necessary.

**Now...**

Michonne woke up to the smell of breakfast. She was definitely confused. The only type of food she could afford was instant. She could smell eggs and meat. Michonne put on her clothes and jumped out of bed. "You still react to the smallest thangs." Michonne turned around to see Rick sitting on her bed. She looked at him in confusion since Rick Grimes slept on the couch last night. It was her mind again. She was wondering why she was still seeing phantoms when Rick was back in their lives, alive. "Why am I here, Michonne?"

"I don't know."

"You're smarter than that." Rick smiled at her. "I'm back. Rick's back. You don't have to do this anymore."

"Are you really?" Michonne sat next to her hallucination. "You've been out there too long. I've been in here too long. ...I don't think we're in sync anymore."

"God Michonne, I don't think Rick cares that much."

"For now, I know." Michonne turned away. "Once the initial shock wears off, who knows. Rick will be settling into a new life, meet other people. We aren't there anymore. Our lives aren't in each other's hands. Everything we had before, who says it's still there? And if it is, what happens when it fades? Part of me wonders if it was a good idea for us to be housed together."

She turned back to see that the phantom of Rick had disappeared. Michonne knew it was for the best. She shouldn't be talking with it anyway. That needed to be said to Rick. Michonne already knew she wouldn't. Rick had better things to deal with than her insecurity. Michonne left her bedroom and went to the kitchen. Michonne's jaw almost dropped. The table was set. There was fresh fruit, bacon, eggs, grits and juice. Rick was sitting next to Judith. He was talking to her as she fed herself. When he they were separated, she still needed help with that. Now she didn't. Even though Rick hadn't turned, he knew Michonne was behind him. "I made breakfast."

"How'd you get it?" Michonne asked without expression. She knew Rick didn't get this in rations. They received fruit, but not to the point where they could make juice. Meat was dried as jerky and stored. He shouldn't have bacon. She knew he stole it. She was amazed he got such a huge stash without getting caught. Rick gave her a small smile. He knew what she was thinking. He always found himself staring at her. He still couldn't believe he found his family. His gaze was intense. He looked at her eyes, her scars, and her body. He wanted to reach for her. Half of him wanted to hold her and make sure she stayed by his side. The other half of him wanted her underneath him. He wanted to pull her dreads as he pushed himself further into her. He wanted all of her and he wanted it forever. Michonne saw the look in his eyes. She sat down and looked away. "Don't steal no'more. We can't afford you getting caught."

"Don't worry." Rick was no longer looking at her. His gaze seemed to go through her as if he were looking at something else. Rick was ready to kill everyone in the safe zone to prevent that. She got chill down her spine. "We'll never separate again." Michonne said nothing and got a plate of food. She was sitting across from him, but wouldn't look him in the eye. Rick frowned. Michonne seemed on edge since he returned. He didn't understand. "Are you afraid of me?" Michonne didn't answer. "You should know I'd never hurt you."

Michonne looked at him. "I'm not afraid of you, Rick."

Rick leaned back in his seat. "Then are you mad? Are you mad that I left you alone with children while I looked for Carol and Beth?" Michonne was about to open her mouth to deny that, but she found she couldn't. A lot of things happened when they were separated. Many days she did curse Rick Grimes, days when Judith was screaming from hunger or Gabriel had to patch her up after she hurt herself providing for his kids. She wasn't going to lie to him and say she was fine. She still had scars. "I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have let Glenn and Maggie leave. Most of all,  **I** shouldn't have left. When I came back and saw everything burned down... Michonne, everythang I did from that point on was to find you and the kids."

Michonne gave him an accusatory look. "What'd you do?"

Rick didn't answer that. "My kids are alive. The same thangs you did."

A knock on the door gave them an excuse to break the tension. Rick got up and opened to door for Daryl. Michonne stood up and looked at him at him as if he wasn't real. She also hadn't seen him since Rick disappeared. Michonne didn't ask Rick who was alive from the group he took to look for them. They met with the DC group, most of them went to the Safe Zone, but four went with Rick to find his family. Daryl was one of them. He barely aged. His hair was longer now and his stubble was rough. Most of all, she sensed a great sadness from him. Daryl was glad to see Michonne. It was his fear that he wouldn't see her again. Many times he'd search for members of his group. This was the first time he'd found them alive. He spent last night processing this. He reached out and locked Michonne in a tight embrace. After a few seconds he let her go, satisfied that she was alive and well. He went into the kitchen for breakfast and see if the soft noises were really the baby from long ago.

Judith didn't remember Daryl. Seeing a man she didn't know approach her frightened her. "SOWN! ME'SOWN!" She kicked in her seat trying to get away. Michonne went to the kitchen to calm Judith. Michonne was going to apologize to Daryl, but to her amazement, he was delighted. He was happy to see that even Judith adapted to this world. Even in the old world, she shouldn't be open to strangers. He was so proud of her.

Judith stopped crying and clutched to Michonne. Rick offered to hold her, but Judith slapped his hand away. Daryl laughed. "Damn, she really is Lil' Asskicker."

Judith looked at Michonne with a pout. "Bad words, Sown. Bad man."

"No, good man." She looked at Rick. "Good men, Judy. That's your daddy and that's Uncle Daryl."

She looked at them again and hid her face in Michonne's chest. She laughed. Two years ago she probably would have fought her to get to Daryl. "S'okay, Michonne, she'll come when she ready."

"She has a lot of moxie."

"She's Asskicker."

"No!" Judith protested.

The adults laughed. Daryl sat down and made a plate. Michonne noticed that Daryl didn't seem surprised by the spread. She realized he must have helped Rick steal the food. Rick sat next to him and Michonne sat across with Judith still clinging to her. "I got wall and recon."

"I'm scheduled to the wall and recon too."

Rick looks at Daryl and they nod. Rick wished that he had recon duty with Michonne, but he felt better knowing that Daryl was going to be out there with her. Daryl would watch her back just like Daryl protected him. There wasn't a better man. "They assigned me as a constable."

"Figures," Daryl muttered with his mouth full.

"Kind of ironic considering..." Michonne said looking at breakfast.

Rick smirked. "Now I see when Judith gets it. She got her spunk from you."

Michonne covered her face as she blushed. Daryl looked at the two of them. Part of him wondered if they already screwed. Before the separation there was an obvious thing between them, there was just no time. Now that they were together, under the same roof, raising kids, it just seemed like an inevitability. Daryl wouldn't say anything. He was glad to watch it unfold.

**(A/N) I probably should have written past breakfast.**

_**Next Chapter: Carl introduces Rick to his friends. Michonne visits Sasha** _


	3. Friends

Rick was surprised when Carl offered to show him around the Safe Zone. He was very proud of the way his son turned out. He was hardworking, strong, and brave. Everyone who found out that Carl was his son was eager to tell Rick how much he helped their harvests or that he was the first to arrive for his shift at the fence and the last to leave. The praise that had him proudest was that Carl taught some of the children how to defend themselves despite their height. He was surviving and helping others. He remembered that was something he tried to teach to him before they became separated. Carl was becoming an honest man. What more could he want?

In honesty, Rick already knew all the areas of the Safe Zone. Before he and Daryl could sleep, they had to know their surroundings. He knew rotations, population, and everything that was in the armory. He wasn't going to deny Carl though. Carl scarfed down his breakfast and ran to get ready. Rick looked at Michonne who was sitting across from him and smiled.

"Am I dreaming?"

"Want me to pinch you?"

"Nah, 'cause if this is a dream. I don't wanna wake up." Michonne chuckled and went back to her breakfast. "I thought he hated me."

"No, Carl never hated you. Funny thing is he was scared that you hated him." Rick looked at her confusedly. "He was scared you wouldn't come looking for us because of how disrespectful he was to you."

Rick sat back and let that process. The amount of time it took to find them probably validated that insecurity in Carl. He would make sure that he spent more time with his kids. He found that he had a lot more time on his hands now that he wasn't the leader. He was very content being just a father. He wouldn't mind fulfilling the title as husband again. Rick would always love Michonne for what she did for him and his kids. She was perfect by his side. She was the only woman he could tell anything; she was also the only woman he didn't have to tell anything to. They were so in sync that nonverbal communication was second nature. She was still angry, but he knew that would take time to heal.

Michonne started clearing the table. She moved leisurely; he doubted she had work because of it. "What are you gonna do today?"

"I still haven't seen Glenn and Maggie. Tara... It's been a while."

Rick nodded. "They'd like that."

Carl came back, dressed and still excited. "You ready, dad?"

"Yeah, course."

"Good. Michonne, I'm working until dinnertime today." She nodded. The Grimes men left for Carl's tour. "Actually I'll take you to meet my friends first. I have to warn you, Chenelle is a little odd."

"Odd?" Before Rick could ask what he meant by that they were already at her door. Rick heard the barking of a dog. Rick was surprised. There weren't that many pets since the turn. He knew Tyreese had one, but that made the total numbers of pet dogs he'd seen since the turn two.

A short teenage girl opened the door with a knife in her hand. Rick lowered his eyes. He was instantly ready to shoot. "Hey Carl!" She said with a high pitch. Rick knew immediately that she had a crush on the younger Grimes. The girl looked at Rick with mistrust. "Who is this?"

"This is my dad. Chenelle-dad, dad-Chenelle." Carl gave her a brief introduction. "Hunter here?" She shook her head no. Chenelle's gaze wouldn't leave Rick. She analyzed him, but was too intimidated to meet his eyes. Her dog sensed her nervousness and started growling. "Relax Chenelle. Don't take it to heart dad. She's always been shy around people."

"Meeting you didn't make it any better Carl."

Carl put his arm around Chenelle. "When me, Michonne, Gabriel and Judith were out there we broke into her house."

"...they robbed me a gunpoint." Chenelle started laughing, albeit still nervously. "I thought you were going to blow my brains out Carl!"

"You were cooperative so..." Carl held Chenelle's hand to comfort her. "Smythe was about to attack us. I was going to shoot him, but Chenelle started bawling. She begged us not to hurt him and even promised to leave her house. That's when we knew she was alone."

"My sister was in college in Asheville when this started. Mom and step-dad went to Fayetteville for supplies... ...It's just been me and Smythe."

Rick put his hand on Chenelle's shoulder. "It took a while, but I found Carl. Your folks are probably still out there."

Chenelle threw her arms around Rick. She tore away once she looked at the clock. " _Hijole_ , I'm running late; Dr. Anderson is gonna have a fit! I have to go!"

Chenelle dumped some supplies in a bag and ran out the door. She didn't even bother locking it. There was no need. Her dog followed her everywhere and would alert her if she had an intruder. Carl locked the door for her anyway. He continued his tour of the Safe Zone. This was very satisfying. Rick was spending time with his son. He was also getting to know about some of the people in the Safe Zone. Any information was helpful.

"Enid, Mikey, and Ron are in school. I think Hunter might be on recon. You'll know him if you've seen him. He played football in high school, but he's not as big as Tyreese. He uses a bow and arrow, not quite like Daryl, but it was enough for me to be comfortable around him when we met. He can use any weapon though. Unlike Chenelle... She never learned to use a gun. She uses bats and knives."

"I'm glad to see you have good friends." Rick nudged him. "I think Chenelle likes you."

"Come on dad. It's not like that. She's like to me what Michonne is to you." Rick was silent. Carl looked at his father. "Wait... You like Michonne?!"

"Can you keep a secret?" Rick asked playfully. Carl nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I do." Carl's eyes lit up, but then the shine died. "What?" Rick turned around to see what Carl was looking at. Gabriel and Michonne were walking together. They were way too chummy to be friends. Rick swallowed his rage and continued to walk with Carl.

**Meanwhile...**

Michonne was leaving Glenn and Maggie's new place when she ran into Gabriel. He gave her a large smile and waited for her to join him. Michonne didn't try to sneak away like she had done previously. A lot happened since she'd last seen him. She'd missed the simplicity of him. There were no secrets or walls between them. "I just got the day's rations before my shift. Would you like to walk home with me?" Michonne didn't answer directly, but walked with him. "I've never seen you welcome the new neighbors before. You're usually very wary." Gabriel didn't greet new neighbors either. Experiences made him wary of strangers. The first people he met after the turn, Rick's group, slaughtered people in his church. The rest weren't better.

"It was Glenn and Maggie." Gabriel didn't remember those names. The only one he truly remembered from her group was Rick. He was the children's father and a very scary man. He could remember Rick's threat like it was yesterday. Michonne could see he wasn't recollecting. "Rick, everyone's back.

"That's fantastic! I know Carl and Judy are ecstatic."

Michonne held Gabriel's rations while he opened the door. "Yeah, Carl's showing Rick around the Safe Zone."

"I hope he's able to show Rick around before curfew." Gabriel said thinking Rick was housed elsewhere.

Michonne shrugged. "Rick's staying with us."

"What?" Gabriel's happiness faded. Why would Rick stay in their unit. There were only two bedrooms in that house. He didn't want to ask where Rick slept. "Why would Douglass do that? How could he do that?! He's new. You have children!"

"Rick's children." Gabriel felt stupid for that statement. Michonne helped put Gabriel's rations away. She didn't want to think about Rick. They had a lot of unfinished business; there were things between Rick and Michonne unsaid. She needed a distraction. Michonne blocked Gabriel's reach for the cabinet. "I didn't come over here to talk about Rick" Michonne knew Gabriel couldn't resist her. She slid her hands down his pants. He was certainly blessed. She hoped he had a condom. She'd never rely on pulling out again.

Gabriel tensed when he felt Michonne kiss his neck. "Michonne..." He groaned. He hadn't had her pleasure in months. The possibility of being pregnant put that to a screeching halt. As enraptured as he was that Michonne wanted to find comfort in him again, he had to leave. He had to work. Missing work meant no food. Gabriel knew what starving was like from experiences being with Michonne outside the walls. He hated those days and never wanted to miss a meal again. He pulled Michonne's hands out his pants and kissed her quickly. "I have to go to work. Rain check?" Michonne folded her arms before turning her back to Gabriel. She left his unit and headed home. Gabriel buttoned his pants and headed to the gardens. He began to regret making that rain check. As he walked to the gardens he started to remember the chemistry between the ringleader and samurai. Rick would gladly cash his rain check in.

Michonne unlocked the door and saw Rick sitting on the couch with Judith. "Sown!" Michonne sat next to them as Judith gave Michonne her teddy bear to voice.

Rick watched them. It didn't take him long to notice the bear had a deep southern drawl. He couldn't place it even though it sounded familiar. He loved the sound of Judith's laughter. Michonne was a great mom. Andre was truly blessed to have her before he died. He was lucky to have her now. 'Do you have her' he thought to himself? Rick was eerily calm. He didn't want to unleash his anger. Gabriel and Michonne? What sick person could imagine that? Rick was doing everything he could to keep his emotions in check as he asked, "You and Gabriel."

Michonne looked at Rick. She knew what he was asking, somewhat demanding from her. Michonne gave Judith her teddy and matched Rick's gaze. "Yes?"

"Is than somethan'? Or..."

"Yeah. Something."

Rick grunted and didn't say anything to her. He didn't look her way for hours. Michonne let him be. She didn't owe Rick an explanation and he wasn't going to control her life. She didn't understand why he was so mad. His anger was so strong that even Judith noticed it. Michonne took Judith in the kitchen with her as she fixed dinner. Rick followed her. He silently watched as she made dinner. There was an argument brewing. Michonne was pleased that he wasn't going to do it in front of the kids.

Carl returned before curfew and they had dinner. Carl noticed the tension between his father and Michonne. Rick was looking at her almost as if she stole something. "Guys, what's going on?"

"Don't worry about it, Carl." Michonne said, giving Rick a glare of her own. She didn't like that his attitude got Carl's attention. He didn't need to be a part of Rick's hissy-fit.

"But-"

"Shh!" Michonne said cutting the teen off. Carl was always inquisitive. She didn't want to concern him with their arguments. Michonne continued eating, but didn't stop staring at Rick. She didn't think Rick blinked. "How was your day?"

"It was fine..." Carl felt awkward. He hated what was going on. He hated not knowing more. "I took dad to the wall, garden, and let him meet my friends."

"That's good..."

Carl took one more bite, but his appetite was gone. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to take Judy and go to bed early."

"Close your door," Rick grunted.

That was the first thing Rick said in hours. Carl looked at Michonne fearfully. He'd never feared his father before that moment; now he was scared for Michonne. Why did Rick want the door closed? Michonne glared at Rick before following Carl and Judith to their room. Michonne put Judith in her bed and gave Carl access to her portable CD player. She told him not to worry about anything and to make sure his sister got to sleep. She closed their door and wasted no time storming back to Rick. "What was that?" She seethed.

"We have thangs we need to discuss-"

"I don't owe you anything."

"See, that's where you're wrong. You're raising my kids, Michonne. I have a right to know who they're around."

Michonne let out an outraged scoff. "He was obviously good enough for you to leave us with him in Georgia!"

"I know what I did!" Rick threw his hands up. "I know! I'm sorry, Michonne. I made the wrong call."

"It's not your call now!"

"I trust you, Michonne." Rick got closer. "I don't trust him. I've never trusted him."

"You should have just stayed put! Then none of this would have happened. You have no idea what hell we went through to stay alive!"

"I went through hell too!" He growled. "I was out there for for damn near three years. Looking for you! I never stopped looking.  **We**  never stopped looking!"

"Why couldn't you have just waited!" Michonne asked that question many times. Had Rick just waited one week, they would have had enough firepower to take out those arsonist. Carol and Beth would have probably still been alive for another week.

"I did what was best. For the group! You, you think I wanted to leave my son, my baby, my best friend behind?! I did what was necessary to keep everyone alive. Everyone! I'm not going to apologize to you anymore for leavin' because I had to!"

Michonne rolled her eyes. "'Course you won't."

"I damn sure won't." He got in her face. "My mistake was letting Glenn and Maggie chase after that fucking lie. My mistake was not killin' every single officer in Grady. I was not wrong in going to Atlanta! I was not wrong for leaving you with my kids."

"Fine! Let the past stay in the past. Things are different now. You are not my leader." Rick flinched. "You are not my best friend." She looked at him with disgust only fulled by the anger she felt. "And you are most certainly not my man." Michonne pushed passed him. Rick grabbed her arm. Michonne reached for the sword that wasn't on her back, she pulled from his grip. "Don't you touch me!" Her pointer was almost stabbed Rick's nose. Rick thought about the time when they first met. "Don't you ever-"

Rick pulled her into his chest and kissed her. Michonne pushed him off and gathered her breath. Her dark eyes burrowed into his. His heavy breaths hit her face. Michonne tried to pull away. Rick still had her pressed against him. She felt good. The strength in her body did not change the softness of her breasts. Just as he could feel her, she could feel how sculpted he was, built from his time outside civilization. She was still angry with him. She still had unresolved issues with his decision to go to Atlanta and his assertion into her personal life, but she couldn't deny that Rick got under her skin. She wished she could hate him. Rick put his lips back on hers. After a while, Michonne kissed him back. She opened her mouth and let his tongue inside. He held the back of her head and pushed their faces closer, devouring her. He'd wanted to taste her for years. Michonne put her hands through his curls and rolled her tongue around his. Michonne felt herself stirring; she wanted him badly. She couldn't help the moans that escaped her throat. She rubbed against his growing hardness, Rick moaned in her mouth and let the hand free from her dreads travel lower. He grabbed her ass and picked her up. He pressed her against the wall. Michonne wrapped her legs around Rick. She was applauding herself that she had the foresight to give Carl the portable CD player. She wouldn't be able to explain how she was in this compromising position.

Rick kissed her lips, the outside of her mouth and neck. He let go of her body and ripped the shirt she was wearing down the middle. Rick tried to do the same with her bra, but after failing he settle with lifting it over her head. Her dreads fell down her face and shoulders. Rick sucked her neck and kissed her flesh downward until he reached her nipple. Rick opened his mouth and took it in his mouth. He lapped at the dark ripples until they hardened. Michonne was too restricted to play with him in return; Rick was also feeling too restricted. He wanted all of her and soon. He picked her up by her waist and carried her to bed.

Michonne flipped Rick on his back and started sucking and biting his neck. Rick unbuttoned his pants and rubbed himself against her pants. Michonne knew he wanted to be inside her now. She wanted it too. She'd been curious for years. "Next time, I won't be so rough," Rick announced. She froze, starting to have doubts about this heat fulled tryst. She snapped back to her surroundings when Rick grabbed her throat. Without any gentleness, he forced Michonne on her back and slid his hand in her jeans. Rick glided down her panties into her moistened curls. He stuck a calloused finger into her folds and felt her sex. She was so wet it didn't cause discomfort.

"Damn it, Rick..." She was in ecstasy already. Rick started sucking her breasts again as he fingered her. The pressure and movement was causing her to twitch. She was surprised both at her submissiveness. She was usually the one to take control. Pleasure shot through her spine. She found herself trying to get on top. Rick made her stay put. Michonne was surprised at the dominance. She didn't like it. She hated that she was dough in his hands. She hated that he had such a command over her body. This also reminded her that neither of them had a condom. "stop..." Michonne said in more of a moan than request. Feeling Rick pull her jeans further down made her gather her wits. "Rick, stop."

Stop wasn't the word Rick was expecting to hear, but there was no doubt that she meant it. He let go of her breast and took his hands of her pants. He hovered above her. He looked at her, trying to read her. Rick was sure he was making her feel good. His manhood was throbbing. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside her and fuck her until she could only scream. Michonne pulled up her pants and looked at his penis. Rick wasn't as big as Gabriel, but Michonne could tell he had more stamina. Michonne slipped through his arms, turned and went back underneath him. She was on her hands and knees. Her butt was in his face. "God, 'Chonne." He knew what she was about to do. He hadn't had a blow job since Carl was Judith's age. Rick sat back so he could watch.

"Just to be clear, this changes nothing." Michonne said, cupping his balls. She put her mouth on the tip when he grew limp. She looked at Rick with disappointment and confusion.

"What'd you say to me?"

Michonne sat up. Her arousal was also gone. "You should go back to the couch."

"Yeah I will." Rick took off his shirt and threw it on the spot he'd occupied.

* * *

"Ain't that a bitch..." Daryl said lighting his Morley.

Rick leaned on the car Daryl was stripping. He didn't give Daryl specific details of last night. "I couldn't even touch her after that."

"Just let her cool off." Daryl didn't know what else to say. He thought Michonne would be as in love as Rick was. Daryl missed the old days. They made a great trio. It seemed natural that now that they were settled, Rick and Michonne would settle together and raise their kids. They were parenting Rick's kids. They lived under the same roof. They had obvious attractions. It was simple to Daryl.

Rick stared into the distance. "I essentially matched them. I should have known."

"You gon' take care of 'em?" Rick always destroyed threats to his family.

"No. It'd just make her hate me more."

**Meanwhile...**

"You didn't have to say that though." Michonne rolled her eyes at Sasha. She didn't spare the details when recounting her fight and rendezvous with Rick. "You have more self control than I do."

"Shoulda stopped it when it started..."

"You like Gabriel that much?"

"...there's something."

Sasha gave her a look of disbelief and judgement. "Enough to turn down Rick Grimes?"

Michonne looked at her friend suspiciously. Why was she emphasis Rick in such a way. "What's wrong with Gabriel?"

"Mph, you really do like him."

"Not as much as Gabriel would like, but not as little as Rick thinks." Michonne leaned on Sasha's wall. "Gabriel proposed to me the other day."

Sasha noticed Michonne wasn't wearing a ring. Even in the turn, it was common for engagements. "Did you say no because of Rick?"

"No. Rick hadn't even arrived when he did that." Michonne started to pry in Sasha's love life. "So Guillermo?"

Sasha frowned. "I just have to face it that all he wants is sex." She sighed. "I put myself out there, I haven't opened myself up since Bob. I wish it was just a lust thing, but all I can see is the good in Guillermo. I hate it." Sasha threw a pillow at Michonne. "I sitting here single and heartbroken and two men are begging to be with you. Rick Grimes at that. I should fight you."

Michonne got quiet. She smirked evilly at Sasha. "Daryl is back. He seems like the forever type."

Sasha grimaced "He'd have to wash his hair before I'd even considered talking to him like that." Michonne laughed.

Michonne thought about her situation. Gabriel was overreaching what they have. Rick was overreaching what they had. She didn't make it any better by messing with them. She needed to continue her celibacy. It was distracting her from what she had to do. She need to answer Gabriel's proposal. She needed to set boundaries with Rick. It was time for her to stop avoiding them.

**(A/N) Size doesn't equal skill and stamina. Trust me!**

**_Next Chapter: Gabriel and Rick talk._ **


	4. It's Complicated

After a couple days of being cordial, Rick was starting to match Michonne's state of bother. She was so warm to Carl and Judith, but she was cold to him. They tried to avoid each other, but found it hard since they were living together. He hadn't tried to talk to her about what transpired. He didn't regret anything that he did. He honestly wished that it had gone further. He was convinced she'd see how much he loved her if they had. She would see that he could satisfy her in every aspect of their lives; and opening up sexually would allow them to open up about everything else. However, she bluntly told him sex between them would mean nothing. Not even her luscious lips on his dick could rouse him from that blow. The biggest insult to Rick was that she would continue talking to her imagined version of him. When he heard her do this he wanted to shake her, tell her he was right in front of her and make her talk to him without yelling. Instead they just stared at each other until Judith cried. He was surprised she functioned so well seeing things. When he saw Lori he became a shell.

It was uncanny that it was the time Michonne came into his life. He owed her everything. If she hadn't come with the formula Judith wouldn't have survived. She empathized with him and told him about Mike. It made him feel less crazy and alone. She was able to bring Carl back from despair. She saved his kids. She saved him.

When Rick started work he and Carl would be working at the same time on Thursdays. He decided to walk with him to get a feel for their routine. Carl always liked when his shift matched someone he knew. It validated his adulthood. In Carl's opinion it was bittersweet to go to work. He loved what he did and loved being useful, but if life was the way it was he wouldn't have to be an adult. Rick was thinking the same. He was sad that Carl's childhood was over. Many kids his age were also working. In the other settlements, a few were married and starting families. He was glad Carl wasn't going that far. Rick felt like it was his fault. Carl had to be the man of the house since Rick was gone. Michonne could certainly take care of herself and Judith, but the Grimes's sense of honor was strong. Neither of them were going to let Michonne raise Judith by herself.

"I still think about mom sometimes."

"Yeah, I thank about her too." He gave Carl an unsure grin. "She wouldn't like that you're workin' now."

"What do you think about it?"

Rick thought about how he'd phrase his answer. "Honestly I feel a little guilty. If I was here you wouldn't have had to grow up so fast."

"I don't know dad. I still think I'd want to work."

"Me and Lori always tried to keep your childhood."

"The lego thing?" Carl scoffed. "I noticed. ...I really regret being so mean to her before she died. Now I don't even have her picture. I can still remember that moment, but mostly I keep remembering being disrespectful."

Rick thought about it. He remembered being destroyed about Lori's death, but now he didn't feel anything. It didn't even worry him that he was emotionless about it. Death happened. It was always best not to let it take you. Depression was a death sentence in this world. Randomly, Rick thought about Carl talking back to Michonne. He never saw Carl do it. It made him chuckle. "I don't think you could ever pull that on Michonne."

"No. She snapped me back to reality when I did once. She took off her belt and actually spanked me. Can you believe that?" Carl rubbed his butt still thinking about the sting. "I still love Michonne, but it hurt."

Rick wasn't moved. Even though he and Lori weren't ones for corporal punishment, he realized the apocalypse and Carl having to kill was more damaging than Michonne's discipline. His father and mother would be proud. They were religious Southerners who bragged about their belief of spare the rod, spoil the child. Even though his whippings would never be more than a hand or paddle, he believed in the research made by child psychologists and chose to raise Carl with alternative punishments. He doubted alternative punishment could work now. Time outs left the children too vulnerable. There was nothing to really take away. Grounding couldn't work because they all had jobs to do. One thing was clear to Rick, Michonne wasn't Carl's friend. She set boundaries and commanded respect. She protected, nurtured, and disciplined. Michonne was now Carl's mother. He hoped Lori's spirit was pleased. "You were shot before. I think it pales in comparison."

"You've never been whipped by Michonne."

Technically he was wrong. Rick was very much whipped. "I better stay on my best behavior then."

"You weren't last night. ...why don't you trust Gabriel?" Rick stopped walking. "I gave the headphones to Judith so she wouldn't hear you two yelling."

"How much did you hear?"

Carl stopped walking and turned to his dad. "The walls aren't that thick. ...Did you hit her?"

"God no! Why would you-"

"All I know is that you two hate each other."

"I don't hate Michonne." Rick shook his head. "It's really complicated."

Carl shrugged. "It seems simple to me. Either let it go or get her to like you. Whatever you tried last night didn't work."

Rick laughed to himself. "No, I suppose it didn't. Even if things don't happen, I'll never leave y'all again."

Carl frowned and continued walking. They were arrived at the gardens when Carl turned to Rick. "Dad, don't make promises you can't keep."

Rick was floored that Carl would tell him that. He wondered if he was really gone so much. He did work long hours as a sheriff before the turn. He also was the leader and went on many force or stealth missions with his group. Lori complained about both. Lastly they were separated for so long. He could see why Carl told him that. It sort of stung that he did.

Rick couldn't wait for the day he could work. He needed to provide for his family, but the people of Alexandria still had to observe him and his group. They still didn't allow them to have weapons. Rick was strapped anyway. He had two knives and a gun. Since he wasn't frisked since the first day he didn't worry that he'd get caught. Maggie and Glenn made weapons the night they arrived. Daryl hid some of them in accessible places for them. They hadn't let the rest of their group know. It had been the five of them for so long that they distrustful even to the others of their group. Daryl didn't even tell Carol. He told Michonne last night that he trusted her. Perhaps that was just talk. He always slept lightly to be alert and he didn't tell her about their weapon's stash. Maybe he would always be this way.

He walked back to see Michonne was awake and doing chores. She taking clothes down from the clothesline and folding them. Judith was close to her playing with a ball. The brown-eyed toddler accidentally bounced it away from her. Instead of going after as most toddlers would she continued to stay under Michonne until the dark skinned woman got it for her. He smiled. Judith was so smart. She was definitely taught well. He wondered what happened to make that lesson stick.

"She's an amazing mother isn't she?"

Rick didn't even have to look to know who it was. It was Gabriel. He was also watching the familial display in awe. It made Rick disgusted. He continued being cordial and said. "Yes, she is." There was an awkward silence. There was a lot of things unsaid. Michonne and Gabriel were romantically involved, but Rick's arrival put that in jeopardy. Gabriel never was a father figure to Carl or Judith. Carl taught him how to fight. Carl was also the one in charge when Michonne would leave. Most of the time she would come back injured. She pretended she was alright in front of the kids, but when they went to sleep Gabriel would have to tend to Michonne's wounds. The worst was when Michonne was attacked by a pack of wild dogs. Every time Michonne left Gabriel promised himself he'd get stronger; he did, but only enough to protect himself. He wasn't on Michonne's level. He wasn't Rick's level either. Gabriel started to shuffle his feet. He came there for a reason and Rick's patience was very thin. "You have someth'en you want to say to me?"

Gabriel wasn't expecting Rick to be so blunt. He did want to talk to the former sheriff, but there was something about Rick's guarded aura that unnerved him. He swallowed, "I'm going to ask Michonne to marry me. I'd would appreciate it if you would stop looking at her the way that you do."

Rick gave him a look that reminded Gabriel about his brutality. Thoughts to kill ran through Rick's mind. Gabriel was where he wanted to be. Rick should have been the one to see Judith's first words and steps. Rick should have been the one to get them to the Safe Zone. He didn't know exactly what happened when they traveled together, but Gabriel was a little too gutsy for his liking. Rick was burning to cut him down to size. "You should have stayed the same spineless prick I knew before. You would live longer."

Gabriel shook, but kept his hand over his weapon. "Don't threaten me, Rick."

"Don't start someth'en you can't finish." Rick tilted his head. "Do it. Draw."

Gabriel looked at Rick with great mistrust. "You're just looking for an excuse."

"I told you years ago that if you became a threat to my family I'd kill you."

"You're being irrational, I haven't threatened anything. I'm not trying to be Carl or Judith's father. I know my place in their lives. I'm very much aware of Michonne's roll in their lives. I just want to love her and make her happy. Doesn't Michonne's happiness come first?"

Rick just scoffed and headed to his house. Michonne's happiness? Everything in Rick was certain he could make her happy. He would do anything to make it happen, anything other than leave.

* * *

Michonne was grateful for this run. There was a lot of tension in her home. She asked if he's always going to shoo Gabriel away from her. Rick told her that he would, saying if Gabriel was so willing to walk away he didn't deserve the lunches or her. Unfortunately he shot himself in the foot with that move. Michonne was ending thing with Gabriel. Things were too confusing for her. She didn't want a relationship with either of them. Michonne thought the time away on the run would give her clarity. She only felt more confused. Rick and Michonne had been separated longer than they had been together. It would be understandable for there to be no feelings between them. Unfortunately she didn't feel nothing. She felt too much. Everything been them was raw. The anger, the desire, they were both so strong and intimidating. Rick definitely pissed her off. After two years he thought he could just walk in and become her man. She was upset because she knew that Rick still had that mindset. Had she always followed him so blindly? She knew that she had. She was his right hand woman. They were confidants, partners, and connected. Part of her wished that he'd approached her then. They never had time to settle though.

The day was still. There wasn't even wind. The sky was an ominous dark grey and Michonne could smell the oncoming rain. There were almost back to the Safe Zone after a two week excursion. She sped up knowing her group had no choice but to follow her pace. "'Chonne."

Michonne stopped once she heard the gruff call of her name. She turned to see Daryl outside the Safe Zone and on the trail with her. "Why are you outside the Safe Zone?" There was no way they'd let a probationary member outside the walls. She wondered why he sneaked out.

"We was worried."

"He sent you." Michonne did not like that.

"Been tailin' you fo days." She didn't know that. Daryl was definitely quiet. She wondered if she was rusty from being in the walls instead of the road. "You ain't gon make it before the storm."

Michonne ignored him and continued walking. She didn't doubt that he was right, but she wanted to go home. They journeyed together and ignored the sounds of the thunder. They increased their pace with each rumble. As Daryl predicted, the sky seemed to burst into rain. Michonne and her group dashed a mile to the Safe Zone. Together, Michonne and Daryl created a path to keep the group moving forward. The wind began to pick up. Their vision was beginning to blur, but they made it to the outskirts of base. The gates opened. Supplies were rushed into storage and everyone sans guards went to their homes. Daryl and Michonne ran to her unit. Michonne hurried to get her keys. It was cold, wet and the wind was making her dreads slap her neck.

Rick was sitting on the couch with a towel. Michonne wondered how he knew that she'd be back that day. Probably because he sent Daryl. She took the towel and went to her room. She was slightly nervous that drying off with Rick in the room would escalate. Her nipples were hardened to the point where they hurt. Droplets of water rolled down her body the way Rick's hands did weeks ago. She needed to get those drenched clothes off before she got sick.

Michonne peeled the clothes off her body and dried off as much as she could. She wrapped the towel around her head and put on a large shirt and shorts. This was her usual nighttime attire. Michonne realized that Daryl didn't have anything to wear. She knew Rick didn't have anything and Carl's clothes were too small. She took the shirt off and dressed into tighter fitting cotton. She folded the clothes and walked to the couch and placed them on the arm of the chair for Daryl. Rick scanned her body and tried to remind himself why he shouldn't take her on the floor. Carl and Judith were sleeping. Her new attire showed everything. Even though the cloth shorts went past half of her thigh, it accentuated her behind so much it seemed criminal. Rick liked the curve of her back and neck. With her dreads in the towel, Michonne's neck appeared more slender. Maybe if they had a relationship prior the transition would be easy. He would always regret that.

**Later...**

Michonne found that she couldn't sleep. The storm had still and the change in noise disturbed her sleep. She got out of bed and checked on Carl and Judith. They were knocked out. Storms always managed to put Judith to sleep for an odd reason. Carl was probably too tired from work to be bothered with the storm. Michonne finally checked on Rick. To her surprise he was sleeping. Daryl too. This was the first time she'd really seen Rick sleep since he returned. She doubted storms put her to sleep like it did for Judith. She assumed it was because Daryl was near him that he'd allowed himself to actually sleep. Knowing that made Michonne a little jealous.

Rick was no longer sleeping, Daryl neither. Rick sat up and looked in Michonne's direction. His guard lowered when he noticed her. Daryl moved from the floor and nudged Rick. He signaled Michonne's direction. Rick nodded and left the sofa. He walked to Michonne and without any emotion stated, "We need to talk. Talk for real."

Michonne nodded and led him to her room. She let him sit on the bed while she stood at the door. "Are we talking about that night?"

"I, uh, don't think that there's nothing new to say about that. You know how I feel and what I want."

"Yes, loud and clear. I think we should start from scratch. You still have to get used to Alexandria. Maybe Judy can move in the room with me and you stay with Carl in that room."

"Sounds good. I think that could work."

"...I know you're back, but I don't want to leave."

"I don't want you too. You're their mother."

Michonne shook her head. "I'm not. We all pulled our weight out there."

"It was different with you. The way Carl speaks of you. The way Judy looks at you."

"They have a mother Rick. I also wouldn't want to deprive that title from a woman if you remarry."

Rick laughed at the idea. He couldn't see him forming a bond with anyone else like that. He also felt that was hypocritical after what Gabriel told him. "What about you? If you remarry?"

Michonne looked puzzled. She never gave that much thought. Even when Gabriel proposed she never thought of what a yes would entail. "I'm not getting married any time soon. I never gave it thought." Rick smiled. "What?" He only smiled harder. "What?"

"Nothing." Michonne smiled and leaned her head on the door. It surprised her that talking to him had been that easy. They used to talk easily in the past. Maybe underneath it they were the same people from years ago.

**(A/N) I always listen to Not For Long by B.o.B and Trey Songz when I write this song on a loop. The crazy thing is that Finding My Way Back by Jaheim is the song I was listening to when I thought of it.**

_**Next Chapter: When keeping it real goes wrong.** _


	5. When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

There was a great turnout for the communal meal in the Safe Zone. They were celebrating the end of Rick, Daryl, Tara, Glenn, and Maggie's probational status. They were officially Alexandrians. It surprised Rick's former companions how easily he'd settled into his role of not being the leader. He did. He had no interest in leading Alexandria, but he didn't necessarily step down as a leader. If they looked closer they would see that the Rhees, Daryl, and Tara only needed a signal to take the Safe Zone or kill everyone there. Rick was sitting with Michonne and Carl. Their group was lightly intermingled with other Alexandrians, but not enough for Rick to acknowledge their presence. Rick stared at his former companions: Sasha, Carol, Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, Noah, and Tyrese. The last they'd seen each other hadn't really been on the best terms. Unfortunately, seeing them didn't stir many feeling within him. He spent his thoughts on his immediate family when he was out there. He occasionally thought of the group as a whole, but he never missed them. It was good to see them alive; it meant that he didn't fail them as their leader, but he didn't personally care either.

Michonne looked at Rick and wondered what was on his mind. He was looking at their group, but she couldn't read him. His thoughts and emotions were a mystery to her. Judith patted his shoulder and babbled his name. "Da-dee, da-dee, da-dee"

He turned to her and smiled. She smiled back and handed him a handful of partially eaten, smashed food. He laughed at it. "Thank you Judy."

She gave him a coy smile and buried her face into Michonne's chest. Rick played with the soft brunette hair in the ponytail. He was so grateful to have her back in his life. He knew he wasn't too far gone because he still loved. Perhaps he should make a better effort to blend. It would make things easier for his family. Rick decided to clear the air with his former companions. He could understand if their was bad blood between them.

_Rick could see the smoke from miles away. His heart jumped to his throat. It was gone. The church was nothing, but smoldering beams of wood. Carol held his arm as Daryl went to kick through the embers. There were bodies, but there were a lot more than four. After looking at them critically, Daryl went to Rick and assured Rick, "They ain't there." Even though the bodies were charred beyond recognition he didn't see one belonging to a baby or one of Carl's height. He also didn't see a sword. "They probably went into Gabriel's town."_

_"It's on fire too." Sasha said shaking her head._

_"It's worth a shot."_

_"Yeah, we got to find them." A shiver went through Rick. He signaled for his group to hide as the fire truck from DC barreled through. It stopped in front of the church's sign. Rick watched intensely. It was a little too ironic for a fire truck to appear after everything had burned down. He stopped hiding once he saw Glenn and Maggie._

_"What happened?"_

_Daryl got Rick's attention, "I'ma g'on 'head."_

_Rick nodded. Maggie was honestly the last person either of them wanted to see. She didn't know about Beth. He knew she was asking what happened to the church, but he was too curious to why they were back to answer right away. "I was going to ask you the same thing."_

_"He lied... There's no cure."_ _Rick nodded. He should have known there was no cure. If Jenner couldn't do it, how could Eugene? Rick thought Eugene was saying a lot of nothing, but Abraham seemed so determined. Rick mainly went with it because of Abraham's ferocity. That fervor made him think there was a shot. Now he had less hope than before. "Rick?"_

_Glenn went beside his wife. "Where's Michonne?"_

_"I don't know..."_

_After looking throughout the town and splitting up to look at the surrounding areas, they regrouped in an abandoned house in the town west of where they last met. Rick walked in to an empty room and left himself to his thoughts. Maggie was in the room next to him. He could hear her heart-wrenching sobs. What if he was like her? What if he sees the body of his children and partner? He'd been lucky many times finding his family as many times as he did. Maybe his luck finally ran out._

_He couldn't help, but think about Beth shot in front of him, her limp body falling and all the blood. He replayed it over until his mind played a cruel trick on him and replaced Beth with Carl. Rick's heart started racing. He felt warm as anxiety began to overtake him._ _Rick fell on the floor and gasped for air._

_"Rick, you okay in there?" He didn't answer. "Rick?"_

_He wasn't sure when the door opened. He wasn't even together when Tyreese and Sasha picked him up from the bathroom floor. He did notice when he woke up on the couch. He was across from the smallest bedroom. He could hear Rosita's voice. She was talking to Eugene. Rick had no idea the fraud had woken up. Part of him hoped Eugene would have died from the beating._

_"You know when we were out there. I used some of the stuff you taught me. ...It was really useful."_

_"Duly noted."_

_"What you did, I get it. We've all done things. I think the group understands too." Rosita thought about Abraham. "Abraham may need more time though."_

_"Where are we going to go now?"_

_"Richmond. Noah's town. They have walls. We'll settle down now."_

_"And Noah is...?"_

_"We're not going anywhere," Rick grunted. He pushed himself up and stumbled to the doorway of the small bedroom. "Michonne and Carl, are still out there. Not until we find them."_

_"We've been searching for days now! They could be anywhere." Rosita complained._

_Rick glared at them both. Rosita and Eugene were still outsiders to him. Even Terminus wasn't enough to match the bond he felt with the others. "Don't you ever say another thing about them. If it wasn't for that goddamn lie, we would have been together."_

_Hearing the discord, Glenn, Tyreese and Carol went to them. Glenn tried to calm Rick. "I understand your rage. Beth-"_

_"You should have stayed put like I said." He didn't want to hear Glenn relate his pain to his. He just lost his sister in-law; he didn't want to equate his family with any type of death. He wished he could have saved Beth. He wished he would have just killed Dawn's group instead of the trade. He was going to do that, but Daryl and Tyreese convinced him of a trade. Rick got mad at Tyreese. Why did he listen to him and Daryl? He glared at Tyreese. "We should have done a lot of things like i said."_

_Tyreese frowned at Rick. "There were good people back there."_

_Rick nodded, "Yeah, they were good people, but I would trade all of them for our own." Rick pushed passed them. "We go nowhere."_

Rick remembered that after he cooled off he told them that they should split up. He didn't like the things he said to them. It reminded him of his days as their dictator. He wanted a group who would follow him willingly. Loyalty would mean more now that he wanted to look for Michonne and the kids. He knew the group would split for life at that moment. It didn't surprise him when Tyreese and Sasha went for Alexandria; Tyreese was always looking for a way out. Sasha went because Tyreese was her family. Rick knew she would have stayed otherwise. She had adapted. She was what he needed in an ally. Noah argued to stay at first, wanting to help the man who helped him, but he was injured and getting him home was Beth's dream. Carol also wanted to go with Rick, but she was still healing. There was no way their search would help her heal all of her internal injuries. The constant movement would have her in constant pain. Abraham's group went to Alexandria too. Abraham and Rick would be in constant battle for supremacy. Eugene also needed walls. He was too much of a novice to survive alone. Rosita just wanted to be safe. Abraham made it his mission to see that they made it to Alexandria.

Daryl, Maggie, Tara, and Glenn went with Rick. There was no surprises when Daryl stayed with Rick. Daryl would follow Rick into hell so there was no question that he would help him look for his family. The Rhees joined. Maggie and Glenn felt like they owed it to Rick since he lost his family to find theirs. Tara would follow Glenn wherever. It surprised Rick how close he'd gotten with her. He'd even killed his brother for her. It was the reason why they went Alexandria. Tara had gotten hurt and he knew that she deserved better; they all did. The five of them became an unstoppable unit. They seemed to harden with each day that passed. After so long he knew he had to give them more. They needed lives.

Thinking about his bond with his small unit made him realize the same must have happened with Michonne, Carl, Judith, and Gabriel. He could also see that it happened with the girl, Chenelle. They each had stored food from the feast. Judith was chatting away with Gabriel. The Labrador, Smythe, followed Chenelle closely. Michonne seemed to tense; Rick wondered if she was afraid of dogs. Rick wasn't worried about Gabriel coming home with them. He doubted the priest would try to pull any proposal nonsense with him there. Hopefully Gabriel had more sense than that.

Gabriel cleared his throat. "I have a bottle of liquor I've been saving for a special occasion."

"Aww, that's sweet of you! That's a great way to welcome Carl's dad back," Chenelle thought while petting her dog.

"Actually, it's more about new beginnings in general." Rick soon realized Gabriel didn't have any sense at all.

Gabriel revealed the bottle and started to pour drinks. Rick took the cup and gave Gabriel a cold stare. "Do you remember the last time we drank?"

"I do."

"Nothing's changed." Rick said.

While they were drinking, everyone, but Chenelle noticed the hostility between the two. Michonne and Carl stopped partaking, knowing that the situation may change suddenly. Rick drank slowly for the same reason. Chenelle and Gabriel had most of the alcohol. Chenelle took a glass and looked at the sweet smelling liquid. She was drunk and more loquacious than usual. "All of us under one roof again... With Mr. Grimes it's even better." The adults looked at each other. Chenelle drank her rum. "You know, it's kind of crazy. It just makes no sense to me. Why didn't we all just stay in the same house?"

Michonne knew Rick was cringing. When the probationary moment passed for them, she didn't want to stay with Gabriel because of their pregnancy scare. She didn't want to stay with Chenelle because of Smythe. She also didn't want Chenelle and Carl to be around each other when their hormones kicked in. To take tension away, she gave Chenelle the semi-honest answer. "I wanted to prevent teenage pregnancy."

That was enough of a distraction. Carl was bright red and Chenelle choked on her drink. "Gross!"

"Michonne, ew!"

"I wouldn't! She's my friend."

Chenelle took that the wrong way. Unable to control her tears because of her inebriated state, she went to Carl and Judith's bedroom to cry. Carl watched her leave and followed after her.

Gabriel was also drunk. Chenelle and Carl's departure made him more emboldened to do what he wanted. There was a question that had been on his mind since Rick arrived, "When are you going to move out?"

Everyone stopped. Even Judith was quiet. She was playing with her bear away from them, but she sensed the moment and looked at Michonne. Rick looked at him and placed the glass of rum down. "You don't want to do this."

"Gabriel." Michonne tried to warn him.

"I respect you. I really do, but I don't think it's right for you to be manipulating her relationship with the kids to get to her."

Michonne didn't like anyone speaking for her. She was her own woman. "I'm right here, don't speak for me. Nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do."

Rick smirked. "Certainly don't. ... So when you had your legs around me, a while ago, your decision was made."

Michonne glared at him. "Screw you, Rick."

SMACK!

There was another mass silence in the Grimes unit. Michonne's eyes widened. She couldn't believe this had happened. Gabriel's fist was still clenched as Rick's face began to bruise. It was a strong fluid punch, but since Rick was still conscious, a big mistake on Gabriel's part. Michonne could see the humanity escape Rick's eyes. It was a sobering moment. Gabriel knew even before the rum bottle collided across his temple that he had made a terrible decision. Gabriel saw stars; he stumbled to the floor. Rick was on him before he could get up. Gabriel headbutted Rick, who slammed Gabriel's head back and pressed the bottle against his throat. The Labrador barked and ran to alert Chenelle.

Judith screamed, "Da-dee, no! Da-dee, no!" Her screams did nothing. Carl and Chenelle rushed to the scene. Gabriel was still struggling. Rick's blue eyes pierced into Gabriel's. He had a habit of watching the light fade from his enemies' eyes. "No da-dee, no hurt Gaybee! Please da-dee, nooo!" Michonne picked up Judith and placed her into Chenelle's arms. Carl had his gun on his waist unsure what to do. Michonne got her sword. A line of drool fell from Gabriel's mouth. His eyes began to bulge and lose sight.

Michonne unsheathed her sword and put the blunt end on Rick's neck. Rick stopped. "You gonna do it?"

"You need to stop."

"You know what happened to the last person who threatened me?"

"Rick, let Gabriel go."

No having an option, Rick dropped the bottle and let Gabriel live. Gabriel gasped for air and began coughing. His throat was in throbbing in pain. Rick got up slowly and Michonne sheathed her sword. Gabriel scampered away from Rick, refusing to look at him. Rick felt the same, but for the opposite reason. He couldn't believe he'd let Gabriel live. It was irritating him; to get away from the urge he walked to Michonne's bedroom. He noticed that he didn't see or hear Judith and Chenelle. He realized they were hiding, hiding from him. Rick slammed the door behind him and started pacing. The defense wounds from Gabriel on his arms and neck began to itch. He knew it was psychological instead of something he felt physically. His adrenaline was too high for him to feel those cuts. His thoughts were on one track: kill Gabriel, kill Gabriel. What if Gabriel tried to attack him again, but this time with a weapon? Leaving people who attack alive always ended badly. Rick made no exceptions to that rule.

When Michonne went to her room she saw Rick sitting on the end of her bed. His leg was bouncing and he was staring into another world. Michonne sat next to him and didn't say anything. She didn't think he noticed her presence, but after almost twenty minutes of silence Rick said, "I wasn't going to do anything to him, Michonne."

"I know."

"He attacked me."

"I know."

"I'm not going to let him live. I'm not going to let him threaten this."

"You're going to have to. You'll be excommunicated if you kill him."

Rick's face twisted in disgust. "This man comes in my house, my house, and-"

She touched his arm. "Let it go. We need you here. It's not worth it."

Rick heard what she was saying, but it wasn't really sinking in. "Would you follow me again? If I got kicked out, would you follow me?"

"...no."

Rick shook her hand off his arm. He looked at her, eyes still foreign. "What happened to you? Don't you remember the days when you were by my side? Don't you miss that?!"

"I miss it. But I'm not going to follow you back into hell. Not with a baby. Christ! She's not even potty trained and you're thinking we'd go back out there? You need to stay here. Just stay! ...I'll take care of Gabriel."

Rick turned to her and gauged her demeanor. He could see her seriousness. He wasn't sure what she was planning, but he'd let her handle it, for now.

* * *

Michonne woke up to see a very awake Rick next to her. She'd let him sleep next to her that night. She could tell Rick still wasn't at peace with her, but she understood. Rick let what he saw as a threat walk away. He probably wouldn't rest until Gabriel was dead. She wasn't naive enough to think that Rick was going to let Gabriel go. Michonne got up and began to start her day. She could hear the patter of Smythe's paws and knew Chenelle stayed the night. Michonne didn't fix breakfast. She just washed and went to Gabriel's unit.

Gabriel checked the door and answered once he saw it was Michonne; and saw she was alone. She walked inside and looked at Gabriel. He had a large knot on the side of his head. She could also see the bruise around his neck. She frowned. She didn't know why Gabriel made such a dumb decision. Gabriel was ashamed. He set out to protect Michonne's honor and assert himself as a man. He almost died. He knew Rick was only looking for an excuse and he'd given him one. He couldn't believe this went down especially in front of Judith. He also wished it didn't happen in front of Michonne. The look she was giving him made him wish Rick succeeded with killing him. He would never forget the look on Rick's face. It was terrifying. It was as if he were peering into his soul.

"I'm going to report Rick."

Michonne shrugged. "You can if you want, but it was your fault for swinging first."

Gabriel frowned. Raspy, he asked, "Why are you taking his side?"

"Because you started this. You're lucky Rick didn't kill you. He going to try to finish the job, Gabriel."

"I'll kill him before he kills me."

"Bullshit"

"You've seen me kill Michonne. I-"

"Would die. Rick has been out there longer. He also has more experience and resourceful. You can't win this." Michonne touched his cheek. "I want you to live."

"..."

"Ezekiel's Kingdom is east. You need to go and cover your tracks so Daryl can't find you. It might even be best if you change your name."

"..."

"I'll visit you in a month or so. I promise."

"Don't bother." Gabriel got up and gathered things for his escape. He looked at Michonne with eyes of regret and turned from her in anger. "I'll make the decision for you. Bye Michonne."

Michonne stood there trying to process everything. Gabriel was gone. It was for his safety. She knew that he was strong enough to make it to the Kingdom. He had to harden outside the walls. He would make it there and start a new life. Unfortunately, he didn't want her to have anything to do with this new life. She didn't know that this would make her heart break. She stood there and fought tears tears of hurt.

**(A/N) I watched the premiere. I loved it. It was beautiful, but I have to say I was butthurt when I saw the scenes for 2/15/2015's episode. It looks like the group are going to be confronted by a pack of wild dogs. The reason I'm butthurt is because since the first chapter I was building up this flashback scene where Michonne is searching for baby aspirin and is attacked by a pack of undomesticated dogs. She kills them, brings one back for dinner, but she gets torn apart in the process only for Gabriel to nurse her back to full badassery. He set her arm, sowed her wounds, and provided while she was recovering. That's why she reacts to Tyreese's dog and Smythe negatively. Sad face.**

_**Next Chapter: Family has many definitions.** _


	6. Families

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may be a deal breaker for people. It gets graphic and depicts a sexual assault.

Rick picked Judith up and gave her a big kiss. She giggled and tried to push his face away. He simply kissed her hands and held her to his heart. The last three weeks between them had been hard. After his scuffle with Gabriel, Judith thought he was bad. She didn't want to see or touch him. She protested him furiously. It took Carl, Michonne, and a mixture of sweets to get her back to where she could be around him. After some one-on-one time she stopped fearing him. It broke his heart to see her run from him. He would never hurt her and hated that she was scared of him.

Rick blew on her stomach and relished in her laughter. "Stop it, da-dee! Tickles." He did it again and she laughed harder. He couldn't help, but smile too. "Eww, you slobby."

Rick threw his head back and laugh. "Oh Judy, I love you."

"Well I no love you, da-dee." She laughed. "My tummy hurt cause of tickles."

"Well I love you anyway," Rick said with a chuckle. Judith gave him a big grin with her eyes closed. He was amazed at how many teeth she had. She was growing so fast; it amazed him. She opened her eyes and sent him on a blast to the past. He thought of the days when he went to the Walsh household with Shane. They both played baseball. If Shane didn't have a date, he would go over to his house. Shane's mother used to give him lemonade. Mother Walsh had the best lemonade in Georgia. She had dark hazel eyes, the same color and shape as the youngster in his arms. Mother Walsh had beautiful blonde hair. Judith's hair seemed to change while she grew, but if she happened to be blonde, she'd look even more like her grandmother. He always knew there was a possibility that Judith wasn't his biological daughter. He felt like it was confirmed today. "I love you, Judith Grimes." Biology be damned, Judith was his daughter.

Judith, not understanding the heaviness of his confession, reasserted that she didn't love Rick because he made her stomach hurt from laughing.

**Meanwhile...**

Michonne ignored Sasha's roommates and continued cornrowing her friend's hair. Michonne had a few Alexandrian friends, but she primarily hung out with Gabriel and Sasha. Now that Gabriel was gone she found herself sticking more to Judith, Carl or Sasha. Sasha worked a lot. This was the first time in a while that their schedules matched for them to catch up. She asked Michonne to braid her hair. Michonne had long revealed to Sasha that her mother used to own a braiding salon in Atlanta. She taught her daughters some of her skills. She did a great job teaching them. Michonne used to earn extra money in college doing hair. Michonne's sister was the one who started Michonne's dreads. She would never get rid of them. It was unlikely she'd ever see her sister again. Hair was her only connection to the Anthonys.

Michonne was only making Sasha's cornrows stop a third of her scalp and letting Sasha's afro stay curled in the back. Sasha didn't flinch despite Michonne's tight grip on her hair. "I was thinking about doing another big chop."

"Your hair is healthy, why?"

"Just so I can wash and go. Remember the days when we didn't even think about this?"

"I try not to." Michonne smiled. She imagined Sasha with a short afro. She had the face for it. "It'd look good on you."

Sasha looked at her dark-skinned friend. Michonne's dreads were so long that they reached the curve of her back. She must have re-twisted them recently; they looked fresh and organized. "Have you thought of it?"

"I did when Judith was in her hair pulling phase, but between you and me, I like that it's down my back now. I won't let them get longer than this though."

"Does she still ask about Gabriel?"

Michonne felt a slight twinge of hurt. "She asked if Gabriel was now a walker."

"Damn"

"I told her he took a job in Atlanta. I was afraid she might accidentally tell Rick where he really was. ...I should have let him say goodbye first."

"..."

"It's been the four of us for so long. It's weird not seeing him. It hurts knowing that we probably won't meet again."

"Let me go to the Kingdom for you. I'm sure Gabriel will talk to you since he's had time to cool down."

Michonne thought about it, but decided against it. "Over there he can have a real life. He can find someone to love him, start his own family. I know he wanted kids. I don't want anymore children. Even if I did, it took a fertility treatment for me to have Andre... In the long run, I was probably holding Gabriel back. Over there he can have clean slate."

"You could have a clean slate too, Michonne. Carl is grown. Judith has her father. If you wanted, you could do the same. I really feel like you're better without Gabriel. I understand why he had to leave, I really do. But he left you, you and the kids, with someone he's only seen as violent.  **I**  know Rick would never hurt you, but does he? Maybe you should be single for a while." Sasha laughed. "Shit, I should be single for a while!"

"..."

"I know you wouldn't give yourself a clean slate. When I think about it, you shouldn't anyway. Judy is too attached."

"And Carl would just follow me wherever."

"So would Rick."

Michonne knew that was true. She was stuck with the Grimes family.

* * *

Michonne was headed back to her unit after fixing Sasha's hair. The tips of her fingers were sore. She didn't like that. It didn't take too long to do Sasha's hair. If her fingers were sore from that she needed to get out more. Still in thought, she noticed Tara on her way to the Grimes home too. Tara stopped and waved at Michonne. "Sup, Mrs. Grimes!" Tara wouldn't usually go this far in her teasing, but she had learned Michonne was occasionally referred as Carl and Judith's mother. Since Rick was staying with them it seemed right.

"My last name isn't Grimes."

Tara give her an unsure smile. "It should be. ...Rick's a good man."

"..."

Michonne was getting tired of people trying to push Rick on her. Sasha, Tara, and other people in Alexandria, all seemed to have this fascination with getting "Carl's mother" and Carl's father together. It didn't surprise Michonne that Tara was pro Michonne Grimes. They'd spent almost two years looking for her and the children. Michonne wondered why Tara went with Rick. Michonne and Tara didn't know each other. Honestly, this was the only time they'd been alone together. She vaguely remembered Tara going with her, Rick, Abraham, Sasha, and the Rhees when they killed Gareth. Tara always seemed to so willing to put her life on the line for them. Even when she was with The Governor, she always seemed to be on their side. Even though she was still as awkward as she remembered there was something different about her. She'd changed. It wasn't the shag cut or the baggy clothes. Tara seemed ill and tired in more ways than one.

Tara broke the silence with a question. "How'd you get Rick to not kill Gabriel?"

"...I told him I'd take care of it."

"Yeah and you moved him to the Kingdom." Michonne didn't like that Tara knew. If Tara knew, then Rick knew. "But still. Rick  **never**  lets someone go."

"..."

"I mean shit, they guy ended up killing his own brother." Michonne did know about Jeffrey Grimes. Carl told her about his only uncle. He was Rick's younger brother. Apparently Jeff was responsible for matching Lori and Rick. "Did you know Rick had a brother?" Tara took Michonne's silence for a no. Tara sighed. "I think it's important that you know this."

Michonne knew this was going to be a long story. She wanted to tell Tara she wasn't interested, but apparently the information was important so she listened.

"We met Jeff in Tennessee. Rick was looking for his family so it was way crazy that he ran into his brother. We knew it made him happy. We all thought it was a sign that we'd find you, Carl, and Judith. But even with Jeff with us there was still no trace of you guys. Jeff was such a cool dude. He was funny, had the best stories, and was just so damn optimistic. He said it took years for him to find Rick so we just had to be patient. He was a big force in us not giving up. He was one of us; my best friend, or so I thought." Tara had no emotion when she said, "Jeff raped me."

"..."

Tara hugged herself. "Four times. ...I know what you're thinking. How could you let some asshole rape you four times? How stupid can you be-"

"I was definitely not thinking that."

"Then, it must be me thinking it then... The first time it happened, I volunteered to room with him. Stupid... We were talking about our past girlfriends and our first times. He asked me if I ever used... you know... and what I liked. I told him everything. I kinda even made up some shit to sound cool. Jeff started jerking, but then he looked at me and I guess decided he wouldn't have to spank it anymore. He told me to close my eyes and think of Alisha. He did everything to me that I said I liked, but I asked him over and over for him to stop. Of course him being my best friend, I wanted to talk things out. God! He looked so sincere when he said he thought I would like it and apologized! I didn't know it was rape until the second time. He told me  _I felt too good_ and that he  _had to have me again_. No matter how much I begged him to stop, he kept going. I think it fueled him. I didn't want the others to know how weak I was so I didn't say anything. I did nothing when he did it again. I just laid there. But by the last time I was sick of it. I went to the stream knowing he'd follow me. I tried to slit his throat, but of course Jeff got the upperhand, held me down under the water and raped me even after I passed out. He ran by the time Daryl found me. Rick told me he'd fix it." Tara gave Michonne a sinister smile, "And he did."

**Tennessee...**

The sky was a dark, ominous grey. Rick looked at his group knowing that soon he'd have to signal for them to camp. He didn't want to. Daryl picked up on Jeffrey's trail and was close. Jeffrey had alluded them for months using the techniques they taught him. He could tell Tara wanted him to give up on this conquest. She didn't think it was worth deviating from their original goal. Rick wasn't going to stop. She was family to him and she was hurt under his watch. Besides, he made her a promise. Rick always kept his promises. Even though Tara didn't know it, this closure would be good for her. He noticed she no longer slept well and was constantly looking over her shoulder. With Jeff gone she could start living again.

The thought of living again was also the reason Rick decided that this was the last time he'd be out with them. After this he would go back to the Alexandria Safe Zone if it was still up and let them start their lives. Daryl and Tara deserved not to have to fight constantly. Glenn and Maggie should have a home and kids now. Now that Glenn only had one arm, it was more dangerous for him to be out. They'd given years to look for his family. He planned to do it on his own now. He was sure they were alive. Carl was strong and knew how to fight and kill. Most of all he'd left them with Michonne. Michonne was a survivor. He knew she would have them alive no matter what. Sometimes he imagined they settled down in a nursery with a fence of walkers to repel the dead. Other times he imagined they made a treehouse in a tall tree that made fruit.

A low whistle brought Rick from his thoughts. Rick nodded to his group and went to the location of Daryl's whistle. It led them to an abandoned gym. Rick whistled to confirm Daryl's location and let him know he was near. Daryl told them to come inside. Glenn, Maggie, and Rick went inside stoically; but Tara's heart started to race. She felt anxious and claustrophobic. The gym was cold and in disarray from the obvious struggle between Daryl and Jeff. Weights were thrown across the room, knocking machines over and shattering the glass of the mirrored walls. Tara could hardly stand to look at Jeff. There was an arrow protruding from his kneecap. His once attractive face was taken over by a gnarly beard and swelling from the fight against the sole-surviving Dixon. His light brown curls were so overgrown, they covered the trademark blue eyes of the Grimes family. It was definitely Jeffrey. They would know him anywhere. They all knew this would be the last they'd see of him.

Jeffrey knew from experience how this group operated. He'd seen numerous times how Rick killed. It was always this chilling atmosphere. There was just something sinister knowing that your death was coming and it was to be agonizing. He was kneeling before Rick; this was the position he preferred. Jeffrey wondered if his brother was a sadist. He had to get a rush from this fear. Rick had no emotion on his face. He'd seen some beg for their lives. It never worked. He hoped that he could get Rick to see him as Jeffrey again, as his brother and a part of the group. Jeffrey shook the hair out of his face and looked down. "Are you going to kill me?"

"Yes," Rick answered bluntly. He didn't even bother playing mind tricks.

"...Did you think it would ever come to this? After all that searching for Carl, your baby and woman..., I thought we'd all be a family. I wanted to see them. I really did. R-remember when we were younger and-" Jeffrey stopped going that route. Rick didn't like monologues. It was likely he'd cut him down mid-sentence. "Don't kill me. I know what I did was wrong. I never meant to hurt her. I love her. You know this. Tara, tell him-"

Rick kicked the arrow further into his knee and watched Jeffrey collapse into a bow. He bellowed in pain causing Rick to kick him in his mouth. His teeth cracked and broke. Pieces were jettison down Jeff's throat. The other fragments oozed out of his mouth with the blood running out of Jeff's face. There was nothing the younger Grimes could do. He should have known talking wouldn't fix anything. They'd been after him for months! No apology or sweet words would fix this. Rick thought about the moment he came across Tara blue from hypothermia with blood running down her legs. He knew immediately that it was Jeff who raped her. Glenn gave Tara ventilations because she'd almost drowned. Watching her struggle for air and control infuriated Rick. He hated rape cases before the turn; seeing it again made him see red. He needed to fix this. Rick went to Tara and whispered in her ear. Tara nodded and gave him her serrated knife.

"Get up," Rick commanded. Jeffrey was surprised. Rick never told his victims this. Maybe there was hope that he'd survive, maimed with Tara's weapon to make a point. Maybe Rick would carve RAPIST on his forehead; Jeff didn't care. He wanted to live. Jeffrey pushed up with his hands and faced Rick. He was less frightened than before. Since he was no longer kneeling Jeff thought he'd survive. He didn't make any sudden moves from the fear of pissing Rick off. Rick's head tilted. "Get up against the wall." Jeffrey slowly walked to the mirrored walls of the gymnasium. Glass crunched under his feet. He could see everyone in the reflection in the mirror. They were all looking at him. He doubted they knew what was on Rick's mind either, but they were going to go with whatever happened. He was about to turn to face them, but Rick said no. Jeff pressed himself against the cold glass. Rick motioned to Daryl who tied Jeffrey's wrists to his ankles tightly. He had enough slack to keep standing without a hunch, but not enough to raise his arms or fight.

"Wick..." His swollen mouth made it hard to talk. Jeffrey didn't know what was going on, but he knew it was bad. Rick came at him and pushed his head against the mirrored wall. All Jeffrey could see was the fog from his breath and the icy blue of Rick's eyes. It felt like his brother was staring into his soul. Jeffrey regretted having any hope of survival. Once Rick ripped the belt and buttons off Jeffrey, he knew something horrific was going to happen. "I'M SOWWY! I'M SOWWY! DON'T CUR MY DICK OFF!"

Rick ignored his screams and yanked the jeans and boxers down. He gripped the knife again. Jeff was foolishly holding his penis. Rick was not thinking about castration; he had something more sinister and Hammurabian in mind. He held the back of Jeff's neck with one hand, then thrusted the kniife deep into the rapist. Jeffrey was unprepared for the searing pain of Tara's knife tearing through his anus. Blood ran thickly from the wound. Rick ripped it out and stabbed again, then again. Jeff screamed a bloodcurling scream. Time seemed to slow for him. He could feel everything, every cut, every tear. The blade was about five inches of jagged steel. Blood rained down his legs and soaked his jeans. He begged for Rick to stop. It only seemed to fuel him. Jeffrey noticed Rick was still looking in his eyes despite the fast paced stabbings. Rick missed and stabbed a buttock. "Ple...! Ahhhhhh! Rick we're brothers," Jeffrey whined. Rick didn't say anything to him. His response to that was clear when the knife charged deeper within his shredded rectum. They weren't brothers. Not anymore. They weren't family.

"You better not pass out, fucker. You won't wake up."

Blood was everywhere. Strips of flesh and waste poured from Jeff's body. They coated Rick's hands, forearms, and legs. He could see Jeff pale from the loss of blood, but he continued his assault. Tara was pale. Tara bled. Jeff didn't give her mercy so neither would he. Jeffrey needed this to stop. He got Rick's point and learned. He didn't even have enough in him to even think about retaliation. If he survived this, he would leave Rick and his group alone forever. From the amount of blood he lost he knew he wouldn't survive. His heart raced. He fought consciousness, still holding on the hope that Rick wouldn't kill him from semantics. Once Rick tired of his assault, he pulled the knife for the final time and let Jeffrey fall to the ground. Rick was satisfied with what he'd done. Despite it being especially gruesome, he felt nothing, no remorse nor disgust. Jeffrey's breathing was shallow. His blue eyes were glossy and unfocused. He was going into shock. Everyone watched in silence. Jeffrey looked at everyone. He was hoping someone could help him, but he needed emergency surgery and there was nobody with those skills.

Jeff spit blood from him mouth and tried not to cry. He was still in excruciating pain. "Family... Dead..." He wanted to haunt Rick, but his curse had fallen on deaf ears. He was gone moments later.

Rick turned to his people and motioned them to leave, but Tara stopped him. She took the knife from Rick and approached her rapist's corpse. She'd given a headshot more times than she could count, but she was petrified to do this one. Jeffrey caused her so much pain and hurt. She wondered if her sister felt the same way before she shot the Governor. Thinking about her sister's bravery she allowed her foot to come down and crush Jeffrey's skull. He wasn't going to hurt her again; not in this life nor the next.

**Now...**

"Why are you telling me this," Michonne asked.

"Because," Tara put a hand on Michonne's shoulder. "Rick is selective to who he lets in. You should cherish that you're a special person to him, even after all this time." Tara's eyes grew emotionless. Her grip on Michonne's arm tightened drastically. "That said, Rick is special to me. If his favor to you backfires, I swear on everything in this world I'll freaking murder you."

Michonne opened the door, and let Tara inside. "You could try."

* * *

Rosita gave birth to twin boys. They were both small, but very healthy. Abraham was so ecstatic that he threw a party for his inner circle: Tyreese, Sasha, Michonne, Carl, Eugene, and Carol. He was especially happy to tell them about the names of the newest Fords: Dominick and Christopher. Michonne and Carl didn't stay long. After a couple classes of wine, Michonne hand enough. Carl felt the same after some appetizers. When they got home, he immediately went to bed because of his work schedule. Michonne saw Rick sitting with Judith sleeping on his chest. She sat next to him and rubbed Judith's hair.

Two boys, Rosita and Abraham were going to have twice the struggle. 'Maybe it won't be that bad,' Michonne thought. Not all babies were like Judith. Andre was a great baby, but an extremely energetic toddler. Michonne closed her eyes and thought of his face. Andre was the spitting image of Mike's mother. She was an outgoing woman. Andre was her first grandson and his likeness made her take many pictures of them together. If Michonne could access Facebook one more time she'd get those pictures. Her heart still ached for Andre. Nobody could take his place. Andre had Michonne's heart even before he entered this world. He was planned and prayed for. The moment she found out she was pregnant was one of the happiest days of her life. Michonne smiled sadly at the thought.

"What are you thinking about?"

Michonne looked up to see Rick. He could see the glossiness from tears in her eyes. It made them shimmer. Her eyes reminded him of the night time sky. They were beautiful. Knowing he shouldn't be thinking this way, he looked away. She swallowed and considered not answering the question. Instead she turned to him with her head resting on her fist. "I was thinking about the night Andre was born."

"...yeah, I, sometimes think about when Carl and Judith were born too."

"There's nothing like it, holding your new baby." Michonne wiped the tears from her eyes.

"..."

"It took thirty hours to deliver Andre, but I did it naturally. Probably why I never wanted any more babies..."

"We went for a Cesarean when Carl's heart rate rose too high. Seemed like it was quick. Like they just took him out and putting him on Lori's chest." Once they cleaned him up and gave 'em to me, I don't know 'Chonne. Someth'en happened. You're right there's nothing like it."

"...How does it feel watching him grow into a man?"

"You tell me."

"We're just friends, Rick."

"No. You're not and you know it. ...You know Judith's not my biological daughter either?" Michonne looked at him with a look of shock. He kissed Judith's forehead and returned Michonne's stare. "Lori thought I'd died. She got with Shane. ...These thangs happen I guess."

Michonne knew Shane was Rick's best friend. She didn't know that he and Lori were involved. All her knowledge came from Carl who told her that Shane was his first zombie kill. Michonne couldn't imagine doing the same with Terry. He was a good guy, but always annoyed her. She wasn't going to judge Lori considering she was once between Rick and Gabriel. She didn't sleep with either of them though. Michonne sighed. She was grateful for Lori's sins. Judith and Carl saved her in many ways. "I didn't want to hold Judith initially..."

"Neither did I." Michonne looked at Judith fast asleep on Rick's chest. She remembered the days Andre used to sleep on Mike. They was nothing more more intimate between father and baby. She wondered if Rick would tell Judith about her roots. She always planned on Carl to tell Judith about Lori. She wondered if Rick would do the same. "What?"

"Are we ever going to tell her?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll see."

'We'll see,' Michonne repeated in her head. "You're really not leaving again are you," she realized.

"I've promised that before. To Lori... Probably you too." Rick got up carefully and headed to Judith's bed. Michonne went to her bedroom and started to put on her night clothes. She could feel Rick looking at her. "I'd return though."

Michonne continued getting dressed. Without looking at him she responded, "I know."

**(A/N) For some reason I imagine Jeffrey Grimes as Matthew Morrison, you know Mr. Schue from Glee. That's kind of fucked up on my part, but yeah... I just want to say I don't wish any of this one anyone, especially not Matthew Morrison. I haven't been enjoying The Walking Dead like before. These recent episodes with Rick and Jessie have been really draining on the spirit. All this Richonne bonding and build up only to be shattered. It'd be different it if wasn't so random. I also don't see the chemistry between the two actors. Everything seems so forced and painful; maybe that's just how I'm feeling watching these scenes. LOL! Maybe TV Jessie will meet Comic Jessie's fate. Yet again, talking about characters not the actors.**

_**Next Chapter: Constable Rick and Jessie** _


	7. Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Animal Violence

Michonne looked around the woods and tried to spot Daryl. He disappeared from formation and she had no idea where he went. He was so silent; it began to unnerve her. She had no idea what he was doing by himself; the fear of the unknown scared her since she was used to being the sole caregiver of the kids. She didn't have to worry about Daryl dying or becoming overrun. Even before their separation he was a true outdoors' man. She wondered if he slept inside when he wasn't in the living room with Rick. The uneasiness about Daryl's whereabouts made her realize she didn't fully trust him. She knew he wouldn't kill her; but, what about the others? Rick once asked if she'd follow him out of Alexandria. Could he have schemed with Daryl to kill the recon team to get them thrown out? Even though Rick had fallen into his role as a constable, she could see that he still didn't embrace Alexandria. She hated thinking this way. Especially because she was getting closer to Rick. A low melodic whistle snapped her out of her thoughts. She remembered it as being Rick's signal for everything being clear. She followed it to find Daryl. She froze once she heard yips and whines. Daryl had found a litter of puppies.

"Whatchu think?" Daryl picked up one of the boys and checked him over. "They pretty healthy. We can train 'em. How 'bout this one for the backyard?" Daryl knew Rick would want a guard dog. The more security, the better.

Michonne stepped back. "No. I don't want it."

"Carl might-"

"I said no!"

Daryl was shocked at her outburst until he looked to see her shaking. Running his eyes over her body he could see the thick scars from an animal, a dog. "More meat, I guess."

"They wouldn't eat a dog in Alexandria. You can bring them for the community. I'm sure people would want them."

"But you don't want 'em... Want me to take care 'em?"

"No. They can be useful. Animals are immune and have a lot of stopping power." Michonne looked away from the dog. "Don't worry about me, let's bring them back."

**South Carolina...**

Michonne watched as Carl put another wet rag on Judith's forehead; she had gotten too weak to cry. Everyone was silent about their fear. Judith probably wouldn't be with them much longer. She wasn't keeping anything down, was dehydrated and feverish. Michonne didn't even know what was wrong with her. Judy was the only one sick so she didn't think it was a simple flu. How could they fix it without knowing what it was? She knew Carl was thinking about the outbreak at the prison. Michonne wasn't there for most of it, but she saw the aftereffects. Since she didn't know what was wrong with Judith, she would do like Hershel did and treat the symptoms.

"Be safe."

Michonne ignored Gabriel's blessing and turned to Carl. "Stay put." He nodded. Worry was plastered on his face as he watched his only friend leave. He didn't want Michonne to go, but his heart wouldn't take losing Judith again.

After walking a mile away from their temporary housing, Michonne stumbled across a store. The windows had been broken out and most things had been taken. She was hoping that she would luck out and find something to bring back to Judith. She found a half empty bottle of isopropyl alcohol. She smiled. She was getting lucky already. They could use this to help reduce Judith's fever. She also found a couple bottles of expired acetaminophen. Michonne didn't knew it wasn't good to give to a toddler, but at this moment she didn't have a choice. She searched the floors and shelves more, but found nothing helpful. She maneuvered around the strewn material and went to the section formerly for "Employees Only". The door was ripped open, but she was still going to check it. Michonne could hear noises. It wasn't the sound of walkers or a person. It was yips, soft howls and whines. There were puppies inside. She knew there weren't any walkers inside because of it. Unfortunately, a pack of fully grown, feral dogs were.

There wasn't a door for Michonne to keep them inside. They ran to her with teeth barred and barking. They were a mixed bunch of dogs. Some of them even had collars. But the look in "Duke"'s eyes let her know there wasn't a shred of domestication left. She cut him down and began their battle for survival. The German Shepard lunged at her too quick for her to dodge. He caught her right shoulder, growled as he tore into it. He tried to bring her to the ground. Michonne felt every moment of pain from his teeth ripping into shoulder, the one she primarily used! Her grip on her katana was getting weaker. She tried to fall on it in a makeshift body slam, but the German Shepard adapted to the fall. The pack's mutt and doberman grabbed her ankle and started pulling her into the Employees Only room. She could didn't know if she could hear other dogs, but she knew she could feel her arm become numb. With all of her strength, she kicked at the dogs, missing the first time, but soon landed a solid impact against the mutt's nose. He whimpered. Michonne rolled, ripping her body out of the dogs' mouths and stood up. She kicked the mutt before stomping it to death with her boots. The doberman attacked her injured shoulder causing her to scream. She was brought to the ground again. She used her left hand to scratch the eyes out of the doberman and clawed his snout. Continuous punches caused it to let go. Michonne grabbed her sword decapitated the blinded canine and turned to the German Shepard. She limped to him. There was no fear, only desperation and the will to survive. Fearing her aura, the surviving dog ran off.

Michonne went to the Employees Only room an slumped down with the puppies. She didn't understand why this was the first time she'd seen a dog. It didn't make sense for them all to disappear. Another weird observation was that she'd never seen any zombified animals. Not even in herds were there anything other than people. All the rabbits and squirrels Daryl brought back stayed dead and didn't turn. She wondered if they were immune. Both fortunate and unfortunate, she damaged the dogs too much for them to turn. If they turned, she wouldn't be able to fight them off. However, there was another option to test her theory.

Michonne took off her shirt and put the katana between her legs. She felt light headed as she cut the shirt in two. She took off her jeans as well. The fabric was clinging to her skin. It felt like the jeans were being peeled away from her wound. One of the puppies crawled to her. It smelled her ankle. Michonne smacked it away from her. She pulled herself to the bottle of isopropyl alcohol and poured it on her wounds. While it stung she tied the fabric tightly on her limbs to curb the bleeding. She hadn't felt this badly since Merle Dixon shot her. Hershel wasn't there to patch her up this time. What if she had rabies? Michonne didn't have time to think about this. Judith needed her. If worse came to worse, she'd have Gabriel or Carl put her down.

She cried out in pain when she put on her pants. She would need stitches, but she couldn't stay in that location bleeding. That meant death. Another one of the puppies crawled to examine Michonne. Instead of kicking him, Michonne picked him up. He was small, eyes shut from infection coated in his eyes. He was shaking and curled in her hands for warmth. Michonne thought about her theory. Were animals immune? Michonne covered the puppy's snout to suffocate it. He whined and fought to escape her grasp. Her face was stoic, but her mind flashed to his parents' attack. 'I never liked dogs anyway.' Now she hated them. 'Smelly, stupid animals...' She tightened her grip. Eventually it stopped struggling and whimpering. It became still; after another twenty minutes it stayed still. It didn't turn.

Michonne placed the dead puppy in the bag with the remaining bottle of alcohol and pills. She limped to the body of the smallest dog and drug him a mile back to her family. Carl called for her, but she could barely respond to him. All her strength had gone into carrying the supplies and the meat she'd brought for them. Realizing she'd made it, she succumbed to the tiredness of her body. She was too exhausted to cover her body. Gabriel rushed to her; he held her up as she collapsed in his arms. He took off his shirt to dress her. She was drenched in blood and sweat. He shakily opened the bottle of acetaminophen and crushed a pill for Judith.

"I-I don't know if I should do it..." He looked to Carl begging for some direction. The younger Grimes was just as scared. They never thought they would see Michonne in such a state. She'd always been strong, almost invincible in their eyes. Taking some control, Gabriel placed the crushed pills in Judith's mouth and cooled the cloth on her head to continue helping with the fever. He didn't bother giving pills to Michonne. If she was turning they would need those supplies. He wasn't sure what bit her, but out of respect he'd let her fight it off.

**Now...**

The litter was the most welcomed addition Alexandria ever had. Six families got puppies, one of them was the Andersons. Sam hugged the tiny female with a small smile on his face. He'd wanted a dog even before the turn. He had a name for her the moment he picked her up, Biscuit. Rick watched the families leave with their puppies. He wanted one, the more protection for Michonne and his kids the better. He thought Daryl would have picked him one, but also didn't question when he didn't. He trusted Daryl.

"Hello Rick." Rick turned to see the small blonde woman who'd cut his hair. She gave him a small smile. "Jessie," she reminded him.

"I remember."

"Nobody has ever found something like this before. This was truly amazing."

"That's Daryl. ...Nothing gets past him."

"I see." Michonne watched Jessie and Rick converse. They looked like old friends. Rick never mentioned her before, but it made sense that they knew each other. When Rick and Michonne reunited, he was already shaven with a haircut. That must have been Jessie's work. She looked at Michonne with an awkward smile. "Hi Michonne, I was just telling Rick how excited about the puppies I am."

"Sam looks happy." Michonne replied cordially.

Jessie smiled at her son. "Yeah, he does. He's wanted a dog for some time now. I guess Tyreese and Chenelle's dogs will have friends."

"It's good. They can breed. ...We can train them to protect Alexandria. Take them on runs." Rick looked between the two women. "Chenelle and Daryl could train 'em."

"That's a good idea. She could train Biscuit." Jessie smiled at them both, "How would you all like to come for dinner? It's been so long since I've seen Judith and I can ask Chenelle over some casserole."

"No, I don't think-"

"Yeah," Rick said shocking both women. "We'll go."

**Later...**

Michonne didn't go, but Carl, Rick, and Judith did. She'd washed, eaten, exercised, and dressed for bed. She stayed in the living room waiting for Rick and the children to return. She didn't know why she was so restless. Alexandria was safe. Even if it wasn't, Rick and Carl could protect themselves. It wasn't outrageously late when her family returned. She got up and looked outside before letting them in. Carl waved bye to Rick before following Chenelle and Hunter to their home. Rick wasn't alone. He was with Jessie. They were having an awkward conversation about something she couldn't hear. They were close in proximity and even worse, Judith was in her arms. That struck a nerve in Michonne. Even though they'd been there longer, Michonne never let any native Alexandrians hold Judith. Michonne stopped herself from snatching the door open and ripping Judith from Jessie's arms. Instead she sat and waited for Rick to enter.

Rick opened the door and watched as Judith ran to Michonne. "Sown!" Michonne picked her up and tried to keep the anger out of her face. "I wan puppy, Sown. I wan puppy."

"...Maybe for Christmas."

"Yay!"

Rick could see the irritation in Michonne's face. Michonne hugged Judith again and walked her to her room. "Let's listen to music. What do you wanna hear?"

"Jamonee" She meant Janelle Monae. Michonne placed the Metropolis CD in her player and put Judith in bed. Judith shook her head and twisted to the music. Michonne smiled and went to Rick. Now they could speak freely.

Rick leaning on the couch. He looked at her critically. He didn't understand her mood. "Why are you mad?"

"That woman..." Michonne grimaced as she said her name, "Jessie, you let her hold Judith. You let a stranger hold Judith, Rick."

Rick's eyebrow raised. "I was right there watchin' her. She's harmless."

"You don't know that!"

"Michonne." Rick deadpanned. Anyone could see Jessie Anderson wasn't a threat to anybody.

"It doesn't matter. It's the principle." She didn't like the way she was sounding or the way she felt that he made her sound. She folded her arms. "It's like you're just letting anybody in."

Rick's nose flared. "How about you go next time."

"Next time?" Michonne walked to her bedroom. Led by anger, Rick followed.

"What's wrong with you?"

Michonne scoffed. "Nothing. I just thought considering your past you wouldn't be such an obvious flirt to Jessie." She grabbed her door and swung it hard to slam in his face. Rick caught it. He barged into her room before slamming the door so hard, the house shook.

"The fuck you'd just say to me?! What'd you just say?"

"You heard me."

Rick shook his head in denial, refusing to believe she said what she said. Why would she make a dig at something so major that he told her in confidence? "Nah, nah, you need to run that by me again."

"You heard me."

Rick fought a snarl. "You're jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah."

Michonne's eyes widened in disbelief. She looked at him with disgust. "I am not jealous!" Rick snorted. She seethed. "My problem is you letting strangers hold our child."

Rick grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him. "Don't question my parentin', ever." Michonne balled her fist. Rick knew what she was planning without looking. "You gon hit me?"

"Let me go."

Rick stared at her. His face fell and he grabbed a fist full of her dreads. "No." Before she retaliated, he kissed her. Michonne was taken aback from the intensity. It was violent. Rick had almost split her lip from the impact of his lips on hers. She had to force her lungs to breathe. The warmth of his body was making her hot. Rick let go of her arm and picked her up by her waist. He dropped her on the bed with himself following. Michonne didn't know what to feel. Things were moving fast. She was angry, both from their words before and his audacity; but. when Rick sucked her neck, she started to become aroused.

Michonne allowed herself to get swept into her emotions. She ran her hands down his chest and felt him again when she untucked his shirt. Rick took his shirt off and started to lower his bites and kisses. Michonne took off her own shirt and soon found Rick's mouth over one of her breasts. He sucked them roughly, too rough. Michonne reached up to push him off, but he grabbed her hand and continued his assault on her breasts. She knew they were going to be bruised. There wasn't a day that had passed that he hadn't wanted to taste Michonne. During the separation he would imagine what she'd look like naked; he'd imagine what she'd taste and sound like when he took her. This was the second time their argument led to this. He didn't want to stop this time. Rick wasn't going to let her stop him this time. Rick pulled down her panties and jeans leaving her naked on the bed. He'd never seen anything more erotic. She stared back at him. Her locks seemed to follow the contour of her body. He scanned her, noting every scar and injury. He wondered how many were caused because of him. He rubbed his fingers down the length of the indentations of her right shouldered. She'd been ripped apart by dogs and he hadn't been there. He traveled lower to see burns on her side from an incident he didn't know about. He looked at the healed bullet wound from Merle; he remember making it worse. His nostril flared from remorse and hatred. Michonne laid in front of him unfazed and unashamed. There was no of her modesty for her nudity. She was proud of every portion of her body. He could look in her eyes and see this fact. It was impossible for Rick not to find her level of confidence hypnotic.

Rick took his pants off and dropped them. He crawled on top of Michonne, meeting her towards the top of the bed. He kissed her neck and ear. She lifted her legs to settle at his waist. He ran his hands down her dark satin legs. He pulled her body closer to his and continued to feel her body. She rubbed his arms and guided him to the places she wanted to be touched. She directed him to her breasts. His hands gripped her breasts softer than the moment he sucked them. He leaned forward and braced himself, one hand on the wall behind her and moved his length to her entrance. Michonne was buzzing from his touch. She wanted to feel more of his hands on her. Rick found his other hand in her dreads again. She looked at him with eyes of lust. Rick was still mad. This was all he wanted, but it took so long to get. He didn't want to wait anymore. He pushed himself inside her. Michonne's eyes widened. What was Rick doing? He wasn't wearing protection. She could feel that that fact! Her discomfort went unnoticed by the constable. Rick shuttered from the feeling of her around him. She was so wet and warm, he wanted more. "I always wanted this," he told her as he pushed himself deep within her. She always wanted this too. Michonne decided to continue, but stop him before ejaculation.

Michonne flinched at the mixture of pleasure and pain. She wondered why he was so aggressive, but didn't mind because her affinity for rough sex. Michonne grabbed his arm and matched his thrusts. Rick watched in fascination. It felt even better with her movements. She rubbed herself on him and shook from the intense response. Rick almost came when she licked her lips. Her lips were so thick and juicy; he started to regret not letting her give him head. The thought of Michonne's lips on his dick made him moan. Rick grabbed her throat and watched ire show on her face. She stopped holding his forearm and tried to pry his hand from her neck as his grip tightened on her throat.A sadistic smile flashed on his lips; his pace increased. Michonne dug her nails into her arm. Sweat dripped from his face to her neck and chest. She arched her back and twisted her hips. He let go of the wall and grabbed her leg to keep her spread. The fight only seemed to excite him.

Michonne wrapped her arm around his neck and and pulled herself out of Rick's grasp. She grabbed his chin tightly and forced her to look at him. "Try something like that again, I'll kill you."

Michonne wrapped her arms around Ricks neck and watched him as she lowered herself on his dick. She was now positioned for more control and started to ride. Michonne's thrusts soon overpowered his. Rick smacked her behind and watched her sharp intake of breath. Michonne grabbed his wrist and put them to the side. Rick groaned from the feeling and watched her move. He loved the slapping sound their bodies made when her ass slammed on his lap. "Fuck Michonne..." There was no longer pain between the two, just pleasure. Michonne looked into his eyes and wordlessly told him this would be their pace. He laid back and watched as the dark-skinned samurai continued to seek pleasure through him. As much as he'd envisioned this moment, none of his fantasies could compare. Rick felt himself get close. He started ramming himself into her and watched her sultry moans turn to cries. The pressure was intense, Michonne's body tensed from the waves of ecstasy rushing through her. Rick sucked in sharply and grabbed Michonne's hips. He jammed penis as far as it could go and came inside Michonne. He grunted and held her on him as her body naturally suctioned him to completion.

Rick pulled out, relishing the sticky wetness around him. Michonne felt dizzy from regret. Flashbacks of Andre's death and Judith's bout of undernourishment and illness made her nauseous. No protection, she didn't make him wear a condom. Fears of pregnancy resurfaced. She didn't want to go through that kind of pain again.

Rick closed his eyes and thought about his journey to find her. Two hard years led to this moment. They'd both gone through so much. "...this, this is what I searched so hard for. Everything was worth it. I have everything." Michonne glared at him. Rick felt tears threatening to fall. He turned and held her body close to his. Michonne pulled away and winced from the pain between her legs. "Michonne?"

Michonne stared into the darkness. She could feel the semen inside her ooze onto the bed. Paranoia made her think that she could feel his sperm travel to her womb. She had to get to Pete that afternoon. He would probably be nursing a hangover, but she didn't care. He was the only one would would have emergency contraceptives. Michonne started shaking. "You came in me."

"...was that bad?"

"Is that bad? Rick, I'm not on birth control!"

"..."

"Selfish... Stupid..."

"Do you think I'd leave you again, especially if we did have a child?"

"Stop talking about it as if it's so simple!" Michonne started crying. Rick reached for her again, before letting his hand fall. "I don't want to bury another child."

Rick took her in her arms. "I won't let that happen." He looked into the distance. "Even if the worst happened, I wouldn't let you."

"..."

"Besides, it took a lot to have Carl... I'm probably not the most fertile of men." Michonne looked at him in shock. "What?"

"I had to go to a fertility specialist to have Andre."

Rick chuckled. "Sounds like you're crying over nothing."

Michonne wiped her eyes and leaned on him. "Slim chance is greater than none. We've both had sons."

"Yeah. I'm fine with anything happening though." He looked at her with concern. "I love you."

Michonne laid on the bed and closed her eyes. They both went to sleep without a response. Hours later, Michonne was woken to Rick touching her. Michonne turned to him, wincing from the pain between her legs. He gave her an embarrassed smile. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay."

"...Did I hurt you last night?"

"Yes," she answered honestly.

"Oh. I didn't want it to-" Michonne looked at him knowing that sentence would have been a lie. "I don't know why I wanted it to hurt. I don't want to hurt you; I've already caused you so much pain." Michonne shrugged. "Did you like it though?"

"Yes," she replied again. "But don't put your hands on my neck again. ...I know what you can do."

"I would never-"

"I'm a survivor first; your friend with benefits second." She didn't believe he could never hurt her. If he could kill his own brother, especially the way he did, who was she?

"...I think we're more than friends, Michonne."

"..."

Rick's head tilted and he looked at her with indignation. "We live together. We sleep together. You get jealous of other women-"

"I already told you I was not jealous-" Michonne interrupted

"We're raising my kids!" Rick said over her. Michonne turned away. Rick's nose flared. He turned her face to him. "You're mine, Michonne."

Michonne scoffed. Rick looked at her lips and leaned in for a kiss. "Me'Sown, I hungee." Michonne and Rick turned towards the door. She started to knock. "Sown?"

Michonne dodged Rick's kiss and went to make Judith's breakfast.

* * *

It was the Monroe twins' birthday. The entire neighborhood was out for the celebration. Rick still didn't care for the people of Alexandria, but he was making an effort for his family. He noticed Sasha would look at him every so often. He thought with her skills as a sharpshooter, she'd be more stealthy. He wondered if Michonne told her about their rendezvous. Michonne was feeding Judith and trying to avoid meeting his eyes. When she failed, she would blush. Even though their wasn't a color change, Rick could tell by her facial expression. It made him feel mighty that he would make such a strong woman blush. Carl was sitting with his friends: Hunter, Ron Anderson, and Noah. He scanned the party for Chenelle. So his surprise and dislike, he saw her approach Ron's father, Dr. Pete Anderson. Rick could tell Pete was drunk from far away; he didn't understand why the teen girl was speaking to him. He was going to investigate the doctor. He already had bad vibes about him upon meeting Jessie.

Chenelle told Pete something that Rick couldn't make out. The doctor gave her a look of condescension and told her something that made her tear up. Rick was unsure what that could be, but he wasn't liking this scene. Sam walked up to them and ignored Chenelle's tears. He turned to his father, "Deanna wanted to ask you something-"

Pete pushed the boy down. "Can't you see I'm with a patient?!" Chenelle bent down to help Sam, but he pulled away from her. Pete grabbed Chenelle's wrist and pulled her up roughly. Rick walked towards them to end this. "Come with me."

"No!" Chenelle's dog, Smythe, growled and wasted no time locking on to Pete's forearm. Dr. Anderson cried out, but let go of Chenelle. "Smythe down! Down!"

"You ungrateful whore!" He raised his injured arm to strike her, but Rick caught it. He put the arm behind Pete's back and maneuvered to trap the drunk in a sleep hold. Once he fell out, Rick took out his gun, ready to put Pete down.

"Rick no!" Jessie begged; Rick's finger hovered over the trigger.

Aiden didn't what was happening and started to come to Pete's rescue. Glenn stood in front of him, "You don't want this." He punched Glenn. Swiftly, Glenn moved his watch from his wrist to his knuckle. Maybe years ago he would have been magnanimous, but a switch from civil to survival emerged. Glenn punched Aiden with such force it sent the Alexandrian to the ground. Glenn straddled the fallen man and continued to punch him. Deanna screamed and begged someone to stop them. Spencer went to the aid of his brother, but Tara appeared. Her weapon was already drawn and finger trembled on the trigger. Her eyes were shifty and her breathing was irregular. Spencer could recognize her PTSD. He raise his hands and tried to talk her through it.

Maggie stood beside Rick like a bodyguard. Daryl disappeared ready to assassinate the Alexandrians when the first shot was fired. Tobin drew his gun, but to everyone's surprise Carol drew a pistol on him and told him to lower his weapon. It erupted from there to an Alexandria versus Allies of Rick showdown. As weapons were drawn, lines were crossed. Rick looked around and was surprised that some of his former companions were behind him. Seeing Abraham, Carol, Sasha, and even Eugene ready to fight against the Alexandrians moved him. Some bonds weren't easily broken, even with time. As for the rest, they had long been dead to Rick. He looked around for Michonne. At first he was upset when he didn't see her, but he realized he also didn't see his children. He realized she'd gotten Judith and Carl out of this standoff.

Regina's shriek brought him to her location. Michonne had her blade at Douglass's neck. Reg was holding Deanna back and Regina had crumpled into hysterics.

"It doesn't have to be this way," Michonne reasoned.

"Doesn't it? I thought we were all one community, but you all have taken arms against us."

Rick tilted his head. "This is about right and wrong." Rick pointed his gun at the Monroe twins before returning it to Pete. "If he was bold enough to attack his son and a girl in public. There's no doubt in my mind he does it in private."

"...he's the only doctor."

"So you knew."

No longer caring, Rick shot Pete without hesitation. Jessie screamed before passing out. Rick's group prepared for retaliation, but it never came. The Alexandrians never had to kill before. It was overwhelming for them to be placed in this situation. The former members of Rick's group that were chose the other side did not instigate knowing what Rick and everyone was like. They were already defeated.

"Go home," Rick commanded. His group made sure everyone followed that order without problems. The Monroe twins looked at each other, unsure of what was happening and what they could do about it.

The Monroes didn't know how they could punish Rick. What use would taking him weapons do if he could fight with his hands? Plus he had followers. Douglas started to regret placing Rick with Michonne.

**(A/N) I changed my mind from making this also Daryl/Carol. Daryl/Aaron really caught my fancy. In this story Carol never notices what goes on in Jessie and Pete's house because Sam never caught her so she never got close. The reason Michonne acted differently here than in the show was because Rick's life was in immediate danger in this chapter. Writing the dog scene made my heart race because I was in the same room as my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend who loves animals. Good thing they don't pay attention to me because it could have been awkward. LOL!**

_**Next Chapter: Michonne is late from a simple run.** _


	8. Ten to Two

Michonne lie in bed with Rick's arms tight around her waist. She looked at the ceiling and thought about her current status. She was the wife of a dictator. Neither titles were over-exaggerations. Rick had Alexandria watched and locked. He had eyes everywhere. Sasha was in the tower. Daryl and Tara were on two different roofs. They were visibly armed, the same as Chenelle, Carol, and Glenn who were in three different quadrants. All the Alexandrians were accounted for. They noticed the looks people were giving them. They could hear the whispers; they could feel the aura of disapproval. It didn't matter to Rick. Nobody fell out of line. It shouldn't have surprised Michonne that Rick seized power. It wasn't the first time he'd done this. This time bred uncertainty. There was no Hershel to keep them in check or to ease Rick's mind. Rick's mind needed easing. Just as her eyes were on the ceiling, his were on her. This fascination, his obsession with her seemed to grow more now that they were having sex. She continued having sex with him mainly to keep it that way. She'd knew the moment she reunited with Rick that he was off; the last week showed her more into his insanity. She didn't know whether to call it robotic or animalistic. He didn't sleep for the first two and a half days of his coup. He had his allies patrolling rigidly; those he knew, but didn't side with him were treated like strangers. He occasionally allowed Carl and Michonne to patrol, but it was noticeably less. He wanted them home and he wanted them close.

"You're clingy."

"I wasn't always able to do this. I like knowing it's real."

Michonne spread her legs and pulled Rick on top of her. "Is this real enough for you?"

Rick grew hard instantly. He eased into Michonne and groaned. She was still slick from their first rendezvous. Her sex seemed to caress him. His worries were temporarily forgotten. He locked her arms and pulled her close. He could feel her heart beating against his chest. "Sometimes this feels like fantasy."

"Make it count."

Michonne couldn't help but think about Andrea. Andrea was so naive to the Woodbury and the governor; she should have killed him. Many people could possibly be alive if she had. The similarities of her current situation and Andrea's wasn't lost on her, but she didn't think they were exactly the same. Michonne could see Rick for the man he was when Andrea refused to see the Governor's true self. Michonne knew Rick was dangerous, deadly, even to her if it came to it. She hadn't forgotten Tara's story about the death of Jeffrey Grimes. It was such a savage death. At first, Michonne ignored the story of Jeffery. He was a rapist and chalked it up to Rick taking out a threat. She talked herself into think that she didn't have to think about the how. She wished that she had paid more attention, maybe she could have predicted this coup. She wondered what would happen if someone stepped out of line. He might think one bad apple spoils the bunch and kill all of the Alexandrians. This had to end.

Rick rolled next to her when he was done. Michonne rubbed the goosebumps from her arms and covered herself for warmth. He reached for her again. Michonne pulled away and sat up. Rick pushed his brown curls out of his sweaty face. She looked at Rick. It seemed almost unfair that he was so attractive. How many times had she fantasized about being with him? She should have added sanity in those details. She was sure he craved her even more than she wanted him. She could see him slowly becoming aroused again with slight twitches of his dick. She stopped looking below and looked Rick in the eyes. "This needs to stop."

Rick's eyes grew dark. "What needs to stop?"

"This hold you have on Alexandria. You know this has to stop. You know this has to stop."

"There's no other way. Those people... They're weak. I can't leave my family around people like that. I'm doing this for you, for the kids. There's no other way."

"This isn't sustainable. Your guards need to live. This routine only allows them to eat and sleep. And if there are more of the weak ones than us. They could rise up against you." Michonne continued before Rick got the idea of killing them. "There's strength in numbers. We could make them stronger. Before you got here they didn't even carry weapons or have the ration policy. A few walkers came through the gates when it was left open one day. Two people died and things I said was taken seriously. Changes were made. You could have just talked to them."

Rick thought about that for a moment. He could understand the logic of her words. Fear would only last so long. He couldn't imagine how bad they were before if this was the improved version. What he didn't understand was how nothing was done about Pete if they were so understanding. Rick suddenly realized something. Michonne must have never suggested anything to punish Pete. "..."

"What?" Rick looked at her with disgust and disbelief.

He searched her face for the truth. "Did you know?"

Michonne didn't back down. Without shame, she replied, "yes."

"Michonne."

"He was the only doctor."

"So that allowed him to do what he wants? He could have killed his family." His head tilted. "You're not the kind of person to just let that stand. You were the same woman who exposed Woodbury." Michonne turned away from him, dismissing the conversation. "What happened to you?"

Michonne laughed. "I know that's hard to picture because you've never seen her starve; you've never seen her face swell from ant bites; and you've never seen her gasp for air when she has an asthma attack!"

"..."

"You could see her ribs when we got here. She needed medical attention, not a haircut. So no, I didn't care what happened to Jessie, Ron, or Sam. Only me and mine." Before he could protest she cut him off. "I was attacked by a wild pack of dogs. My wounds kept reopening. The ones Gabriel stitched filled with pus and got worse. It needed surgery. Guess who did it?" She forced Rick to look at her. "You must like Jessie a lot. Otherwise you would see it from my perspective."

"Are you saying I shouldn't have shot him?"

"He hurt one of mine; so yes, he had to go." Michonne leaned back onto the bed. "There are other territories: Ezekiel's Kingdom and Hilltop. Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll have extra doctors."

"..."

"If you don't let the town go, I'll fight you for control. I'm not going to make Andrea's mistake."

"Do you love me, Michonne?"

"...yes, but in the same way you love me. To the extent that I won't let anything happen to you, but I can take you down if I have to." They both tensed. "End this Rick."

"I never imagined thangs getting to this. Seizing a town. The kids on lockdown. You." Rick rubbed his face. "I don't know you. ...I did everythang to get you, get you to be mine..., but I don't know your last name."

"...if we end this, I'll tell you. Shit, I'll tell you anything. We can make this work, all of it."

Rick cupped her face. "I do love you, Michonne."

He must have felt something; she'd threatened him and was still alive. She knew it wasn't love. It was possession, but she could use whatever feelings he had to her advantage. Also, she couldn't say she felt nothing for him. She wanted him around more than gone. They had potential. It would never be what it was, but it could be something. "My last name is Anthony."

* * *

Michonne arranged a meeting between the Monroes and Rick. At first, she wasn't comfortable with him going alone, but he let her know that he had Sasha in the tower just in case things didn't go well. Unbeknownst them, he also had Maggie watching Sasha. Rick ran his hands through her dreads. "Go home," Rick told her calmly. "Everyth'en will be fine." Michonne frowned. She didn't know what either party had planned on for each other. She trusted Sasha though. Against her better judgement, she left. When she got home Daryl filled Michonne and Carl on the secret weapons around Alexandria and their plans for an escape or massacre should Rick die. Michonne didn't react, but nothing would make her leave Alexandria. She found herself again out of sync with Rick.

**Meanwhile...**

Rick sat and watched the four Monroes suspiciously. He could tell they were trying to be careful with their words. Deanna cleared her throat. "When your group came here they were dirty. They were malnourished, dehydrated, sick, and they didn't trust us enough to even sleep in separate houses. It was a mess, they all carried weapons frightened everyone honestly. And when your Michonne passed out from infection we all felt like we knew more than them, until Spencer left the gate open. Meredith Vaughn and her sister Tracey died in front of all of us. They turned. The only people who could actually act were your group. I'd never seen anything like it. Tyreese and his hammer, Michonne and that sword, Carl, Sasha, Smythe and Chenelle, everyone from the outside was amazing. Michonne and Abraham straightened us out. We aren't as oblivious. That group brought ideas for securing Alexandria and it's worked."

Reg interjected, "What Deanna's trying to say is that you could have talked to us. You didn't even try like Michonne and Abraham. You just acted."

"And while you're painting us to be bad people, your family knew too and did nothing about it." Douglass mentions. Rick's nose flared, but he sat back with his chin resting on balled fists. "Or did you not know."

"You all talk a lot for people who have no options."

"No options! Michonne-"

"Leave her out of this. She came to my aid, not yours. She had her sword at your neck, not mine. If you all want to continue pussyfootin' around, I'll leave and life will return the way it has been since I've taken over."

"How dare you!" Regina said, outraged. "You call this life?!"

Rick tilted his head and glared at her. "I've been to places that use women as breeding stock. I've been lured to places run by cannibals. I could have been a slaver and worked you to death. I could have burned this shit down. I could have executed every last Alexandrian and used your bodies as camouflage. You're lucky it was me."

"Luck? I wouldn't go that far..., but we can't fight you." Deanna leaned back in her seat. The look on Rick's face sent a bolt of caution through her body. She should have been more careful. She shouldn't have let such a dangerous man inside the walls. In her mind, there was no way a man who's been through the things Rick went through could function in society. "How do we compromise?"

"Our groups won't accept the other as leader. Not without force, no. So we'll share it."

"Or-"

"I'll slit your throat right here and now if you interrupt me one more goddamn time, Monroe." The four of them became silent. Rick leaned back. " And I've been doin' a lot of thankin'. And I see that death isn't always going to be the solution. Not for everythang." He looked up at Reg. "So you'll make a prison."

"...That's actually a good idea."

"We need better surveillance. We've been in and out the walls, raiding the armory, and commissary since we've arrived. Replace Olivia with Tara. And everyone will leave the wall eventually. We're as strong as our weakest link. It makes no sense that fifteen people have to protect sixty. Lastly, more communication with the other communities. Your allies should have sniped me. Closeness with them will make us stronger."

The Monroes nodded. Deanna stuck her hand out in sign of a truce. "I can see why you were the leader, Rick." Rick didn't share her sentiments. When the Counsel of Alexandria left, the community was gathered outside the door. Rick had his crew do so in case his family had to run. Deanna calmed the crowd. Everyone was buzzing and asking what was going on. "We've reached an agreement. This police state is over!"

The people of Alexandria cheered. Douglass broke the happy vibes. "But Rick Grimes is a part of the Counsel."

Everyone muttered under their breath. Michonne looked at Rick. Her face was stoic, but her mind was racing. She didn't know how the five of them would be able to work together; she felt like they were plotting against each other.

"You can't be serious!" "He's a monster!" "No!"

"Watch your mouth!" "Fuck you!"

"Stop it!" Rick stared at everyone. "We're going to make this work."

"Oh so now we're compromising?" Aiden yelled out.

Carl advanced on him, but Michonne stopped him. "Fuck you, Aiden!"

"No, let him say it. If y'all need to hear it, fine... I was wrong for killing Pete. I'll," Rick motioned the Monroes. "We'll be better leaders from now on. Starting now, I'm doing the right thing... Instead of the easy thing. But more than that, I'll show you all that we're better than our emotions... We're better than our rage and fury, our anger and hatred. We're civilized people. If we lose that... If we ever go back to how it was before, kill to survive, all that, that's when all this starts to fall apart." Everyone looked at him. "No more executions, no more exile. We're going to establish, rules, a prison, and then we're going to live."

After Rick's speech, the new leaders of Alexandria were met with handshakes, tears, and hugs. The crowd dispersed and went to their jobs or homes. Douglass begrudgingly held his hand out for Rick. "I look forward to working with you, Grimes."

"You too, Monroe."

Rick walked to Michonne and Carl. He rubbed Carl's hair and held Michonne's hand. Carl looked at it and felt confused. He knew his dad liked Michonne, but he didn't think that Michonne liked him back. She couldn't ask her. She constantly told him to  _stay out grown folks business._  Overall, he supported it. He just wanted Michonne to be happy. He couldn't believe today's events. He assumed there would be a fight. If it were the other way around there would be. "I can't believe that worked. We held the town for days. How'd they forgive everything after a speech?"

"That's not unbelievable," Michonne replied. "People have turned a blind eye to a lot of things because of a few words." Michonne thought about the corruption of the American and international governments; she even thought of the small scale of people who take back cheaters and abusers after they promise to change. "Always watch action, not words."

"She's right." Rick stopped walking and grabbed Carl. "Do you remember what I told you back at that church?" Carl's eyes were still wide from surprise. He nodded yes. "It's true more now than ever. You are not safe."

The Grimes went home. Only Judith slept.

**(A/N) I do not know what took me so long to update. I seriously have no idea. This chapter is not pro-Pete. He's a dick and there's never an excuse to hit a woman.**

_**Next Chapter: With a shocking Grimes pregnancy, Rick decides to go back to Grady to recruit the only doctor he knows.** _


	9. Chenelle

"Da-dee? Where MeSown?"

"She went to work, baby."

"When she combing back?"

"Soon."

Judith frowned. "Sown say Gaybee go work. And den Gaybee-al no come back." Rick's lip twitched at his daughter's grim statement. "MeSown go work. MeSown no come back."

"She's coming back."

"Is she with Gaybee-al? Will dey come back ta-geber?"

"..."

"Da-dee? ...da-dee?"

Carl was ready for Michonne to return. He knew it would take a while because they were going further than normal to scout for medical supplies and clothes. He always missed Michonne when she left, but now that he was by himself with his father that feeling doubled. Carl didn't know how Michonne slept next to Rick every night. Rick was on edge and seemed more disheveled after she left. Sometimes Carl woke up to the sound of Rick pacing the floor. Worried about Rick, he wouldn't be able to sleep either. In addition to their problems at home, things weren't perfect in Alexandria. Some were vocal about their mistrust of Rick. It made them wonder what people were planning in silence. Rick had plans. Sometimes they would spend nights with Glenn, Maggie, and Tara. Rick seems more at ease with them. Carl wondered why his dad fought so hard to be with Michonne when his group gave him the most peace.

Rick oversaw the creation of the prison. This prison was improving relations with the Alexandrians even more than his speech. They could see his leadership and ideas firsthand. Some of the tension was easing, but not for everyone. Jessie Anderson skittered away every time she saw Rick's face. When people noticed they remember his execution of Pete and grew worried. Sam Anderson was happy. He had a lot more energy which he seemed to burn by following everyone that took over Alexandria, including Rick. That sentiment was not shared by his brother. Ron despised the Grimes now. He even asked Carl why his father had to die when his didn't. If it wasn't for Tyreese, Carl and Ron would have fought. 'She would know what to do about Ron. She would have straighten things between our family and the town.' Carl thought. 'We need Michonne.'

Rick was a bundle of nervous energy. Worry was painted across his face. Not only was Michonne gone, but Daryl too. Daryl should have been back; Michonne should have been back. He already accepted the consequences of his actions if his people  _mysteriously_  died on this run. He felt as if something went wrong because for the first time since Judith was born, Michonne missed Judith's birthday.

"Where's MeSown?" Judith asked for a countless time.

Carl turned to his father and hoped he'd handle this. The older Grimes was too dazed and was staring out a window. Rick was probably like Judith in that regard, asking himself over and over when their matriarch would get back. Carl was tired of Judith asking this. It was just a constant reminder that he truly didn't know where Michonne was and if she'd return. He swallowed his feelings and responded. "She's working, Judith. You know this."

"I miss MeSown. I wan' MeSown," she whined.

"She's not here right now, Judy! There's nothing I can do." Carl was beyond frustrated with Judith. She was so annoying now that she could talk.

"...Is MeSown a wakka?" Carl was stunned. Rick, who had been listening selectively, sat up and turned to his morbid daughter. "Wakkas no come back."

Rick stopped to think about that possibility. What if she was dead? Even worse, what if she had turned? He didn't know what was going on anything could have happened. He couldn't have found her to lose her. Two years he spent trying to find his family; how could he let her go out for weeks at a time? True she was with Daryl, but they were both human. All humans died. Michonne Anthony and Daryl Dixon were no exception. Rick wasn't ready for that though. He couldn't lose them. If they were in trouble he'd save them. If they were dead, he'd bury them. If they were walking aimlessly, turned, now one of those monsters, he'd put them down and everything that caused it. He hoped for his own sake that nobody in Alexandria harmed his family. His thoughts of retaliation scared him. Rick hoped he wouldn't have to. He didn't want his children out there again. "...Carl, you two go to Glenn and Maggie's."

Carl frowned. "What's going on?"

"I no wan' Maggie! I wan' MeSown!"

"Judith, stop," Carl commanded.

"No! I wan' MeSown! I wan' MeSown!"

Judith started crying and continued to repeat that she wanted Michonne. Carl knew Judith needed a nap. She was lucky Michonne wasn't there. She'd pop Judith before sending her to her room. Instead of reacting negatively to Judith's tantrum, Rick picked her up. "I'm going to go get her." Judith still cried.

Carl looked at his father and mirrored his infamous tilt of the head. "You're planning on leaving?"

"They've been gone too long."

"...I'm going too."

"No."

"Yes. Michonne is my-" Carl caught himself before he said mom. He didn't know how Rick would feel about it. Plus, Carl never said it outside of a loving joke. The teenager looked at his father and frowned. "I need to watch your back."

"I'll be faster on my own."

"I'm fast." Carl countered.

"We don't know what we'll find."

"Dad," Carl matched Rick's gaze with his own. "If you're going, I'm going."

"..."

"..."

The alert that signaled the opening of the gates for people went off. Rick and Carl looked at each other again before gathering Judith to see if it was the recon group. Their hearts raced as the went to the gates for the umpteenth time in weeks. A good amount of the neighborhood also went out to greet the arrivers too. Rick scanned the crowd and saw Eric limping. He was leaning on his partner, Aaron, for support. Looking at their pale faces, something had gone wrong. He ignored the other members of recon until he finally spotted Daryl. He went to him and pulled him into a tight hug. There were no words exchanged, but they knew they were both happy to see each other and glad that he returned safely. Daryl returned it and motioned Rick towards the end of the group. Rick looked and saw Michonne; she was alive and in one piece. He touched Daryl's shoulder. "Thank you." She was alive. He was alive. Daryl was truly the only person he could trust to keep his family safe outside Michonne. With a few long strides, he captured Michonne and kissed her.

Michonne took a moment to adjust to the loss of her personal space and intrusion. "Hello would have been better." She softened when she saw the concern on his face. He'd been worried. She closed her eyes. "You should have known we'd return. ...I'm was like you. I'll always return, no matter how long it takes."

He cupped her face and scanned her for any signs of trauma both physically and mentally. Rick noticed that Michonne did look a little sick. The recon group must have encountered something troubling. He frowned. "What's wrong?"

Before Michonne could answer Rick, Judith's screams for "MeSown" ripped her away from her problems. Judith practically jumped from Carl's arms and was grasping Michonne's legs. She tried desperately to climb up. Judith was getting blood on her clothes. Michonne didn't like it, but wasn't the first time Judith's clothes had been stained with blood. "MeSown! You back! I miss you! I miss you! I love you, MeSown."

Michonne picked Judith up and kissed the side of her head. Judith returned her affection with a slobbery kiss to the cheek. "I love you too. Were you a good girl for daddy?"

"No!" Judith answered with a large, toothy smile.

Carl was standing to the side awkwardly. He too wanted to run and hug Michonne, but now that his father and sister had done it the act seemed sort of uncool. Michonne's eyebrow raised. "Come on over here." Carl looked down to hide his blush and awkwardly joined his family in a group hug.

**Meanwhile...**

The puppies ran in circles around Chenelle's feet. She gave them the command to sit; they would listen for two seconds and go back to running around. She rubbed her face in frustration. Between school, her shifts with the crops, and the puppies, she barely slept. She was no Carl Grimes; she was run down. She'd even been sleeping though school and work. Perhaps it was why the puppies were still so untamed. Chenelle promised herself that she would be productive after she got her rations from the commissary.

"Hello."

"Hi Chenelle, how are you?" Olivia said with a smile. Looking at the Dominican teenager, she frowned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just here to collect my groceries for the week."

"About that..." Olivia looked at the chart. "You've missed four days of work. You know your rations are going to be reduced right?"

Chenelle was aware of the rules for commissary. It was herself and Gabriel who came up with the idea of rations being currency. They based it off the second Thessalonians: "A man who does not work, does not eat." Two months ago she would have accepted the punishment and starved it out; however, Chenelle wasn't doing that any time soon. "I really, really, really, really get that, but I need all of my rations."

"I'm sorrry, Chenelle."

"I wasn't feeling well." She tried to reason. "I'm sick. I can't tell you what it is. I mean I can, but I shouldn't tell you. I guess I should... I personally just can't bring myself to say it. Can you just trust me and give me my food?"

"I can't bend the rule. This is how it needs to be. We have to do this to keep safe from famine and have enough for us all to eat."

Chenelle had enough. She'd officially lost her patience with the larger woman. "I work more than you do to keep this place safe from famine! I go to school. I work the fields! I'm training these puppies! You aren't going to bar me just because I miss ONE of my numerous jobs. What do YOU do all day? Because it's obvious that you don't know anything about missing a meal."

Olivia was taken back from her outburst and insult. "How dare you?"

With an attitude-laced tone, Chenelle said, "I'm going to get my food."

Chenelle pushed past the Alexandrian. When Olivia tried to protest Smythe bared his fangs and got in position to attack her. Olivia back slowly out of the commissary. "I'm going to tell Michonne what you told me.

"Michonne isn't my fucking mother. I'm the adult in charge of me! She's not here anyway; it wouldn't matter if she was." Olivia left. "I don't care what you do," Chenelle said to herself. "Sit!" Smythe and the puppies sat and waited for her next command. Chenelle looked for something high in nutrition. She found the jackpot with a bottle of vitamins. This instantly made whatever punishment she'd get worth it.

Chenelle didn't care that Olivia left to get Rick; she also didn't care when she heard them returning. What surprised her was that the entire Grimes family returned with her. Seeing Carl and Judith made her lightheaded. She'd done so well to avoid him only for him to show up at her worst. Smythe and the puppies stopped sitting to aid Chenelle's distress. Smythe was ready for war. Michonne felt the hairs on her body stand. She'd seen what that dog could do and knew first hand what it would feel like. Judith started to cry. This was the first time Smythe had ever growled in her direction. Daryl's eyebrow raised; her threat didn't shake him at all. Rick sized up Chenelle as an opponent; this moment was odd to him. It was strange to him that a girl who survived that long by outside Alexandria cared so much about the amount of food she received. He noticed that she looked unwell, as if she hadn't slept for days. The baggy clothes she wore made it impossible for him to tell if she was armed.

Michonne noticed a lot less than Rick. She was just stunned that they were at this moment. Why was Chenelle doing this? Michonne suddenly realized that she didn't know anything about Chenelle's life in the Safe Zone. Michonne knew that it was her fault that she knew so little. They'd disconnected when they got to Alexandria. Back then Michonne was so elated that Alexandria wasn't a trap. It seemed unreal that their doctor fixed her arm and even though she was out of commission for a while for her arm to heal, they were safe behind walls. Judith survived and could finally off a feeding tube; they'd finally gotten a diagnosis for Judith's random bouts of hyperventilation, asthma. They could grow and flourish there. She thought that didn't always have to fight. She thought that she didn't need her sword. Those thoughts gave her time to reflect on other things. It was no question that Carl and Judith would stay with her, but Gabriel and Chenelle? Her relationship with Gabriel always confused her. So wanted take things slow and feel it out; this is why she didn't opt to live with Gabriel. In addition, she wanted Chenelle to live with Gabriel. Where Chenelle went, Smythe went. They would never separate. Michonne couldn't handle living with him. Living with Gabriel allowed a way for the girl would be safe, but the dog wouldn't be around Michonne anymore. Unfortunately, the leaders and people of Alexandria didn't feel a teenage girl should be living with a man who wasn't her relative. In the end, Chenelle ended up staying with other teenagers without parents. Michonne had let her fears prevent her from taking the girl in like she'd done for Carl and Judith. Now this inaction had come back to haunt her. For this, Michonne felt guilty.

"Chenelle, you need to put everything you stole back into the commissary. You know better than most the importance of rations."

"I know how this looks, but I need these rations. All of it."

Michonne frowned. "You're not giving your food to the dogs are you?"

"No! ...well yes, but this is not about that. Can't you just trust me?"

"Hell no," Daryl answered. There was nothing about this situation that screamed, trust me.

"Look Chenelle, you can just have mine." Carl offered. Chenelle just stared at him. Carl was weirded out. "You okay?"

Rick approached the girl ready to apprehend her. "I think we're done talking. You really need some time in isolation to think about your actions."

"Don't touch me." Chenelle warned. The dogs stirred with her.

Rick pulled his gun on Smythe. "Stop him or I will."

"Dad!" He didn't want his dad to hurt Smythe or Chenelle. He wanted this to end. He wished he could talk to Chenelle, but she wasn't speaking to him.

"Oh God, stop!" She dropped everything and held her dog. "Stop! Just leave us alone."

Carl went to approach her, but the snarl from Smythe told him to stay away. "What's wrong with you?"

Chenelle looked at the Grimes with eyes of hatred. "You're my problem! All of you! Don't act like you give a damn about me!" She left the food and instead picked up a few of the puppies. Smythe and the ones she couldn't hold followed behind. "You're all dead to me!"

Rick allowed her to walk home and didn't arrest her. He ignored the whispers of the Alexandrians and turned to Michonne. "We're dead to her? Is that something to take seriously?"

"No. But we should keep an eye on her; something is wrong." Michonne kissed Judith's forehead. She was calming down from Smythe's growling. Michonne felt the same relief. "Carl, what was that about?"

"I don't know. I mean..." He had a thought, but decided that wouldn't be the cause of her anger. "No, I have no idea. What'd she take?"

"A week's worth of food," Olivia answered, butting in. "I'm going to have to have to check the inventory just in case it was something else."

Rick looked around. "Where's Tara?"

"Oh... Well she's making deliveries to some of our injured neighbors."

"Why didn't you give Chenelle her rations?" Carl asked.

"Well she missed work. I've heard she's been sleeping in class too."

Carl frowned. "That's not like her." Michonne nodded. That was unusual for Chenelle.

Rick didn't really care about the girl personally, but he could tell his family cared for her. It was enough for him. He wanted to help her. He frowned at Olivia. "Why is it that instead of trying to see what her problem is, you tell her to starve?" This is exactly why he wanted Tara running the commissary. Rick glared at her. What is wrong with you?"

"I tried! She just-"

"There's something obviously wrong with that girl. You've just made it worse." Rick frowned; their interference didn't make anything better. Maybe he could ask Carl to talk to her. He didn't understand how a girl who had such an innocent crush on his son could want them dead all of a sudden.

Michonne picked up the groceries and handed them to Olivia. "I think you have a delivery to make." Michonne watched Olivia pick up the bag; she looked at the vitamins in confusion, but placed it in the back to keep the Grimes off her case. The black samurai turned to her family. "Let's go home."

A small smile flashed on Rick's face. "Yeah."

**One Week Later...**

Jessie sat in the attic with the last of Pete's things. She finally found the strength to move his belongings, but she didn't necessarily feel better. She felt numb. It felt weird. He'd been in her life for decades before the turn. He was with her afterward. Even though he was abusive and mean, he was present. Now she was alone. This change was almost disturbing to her. She wasn't sure who she could go to. Pete had alienated her from every friend she had. Plus she didn't want pity.

There was a knock on the door. Not knowing who it could be, she straightened herself up and put a smile on her face. She'd been so used to hiding her pain it was second nature. Jessie went to the door for her visitor. A dog walked through first and then the small black female. "Um hi..." There was an awkward pause. Chenelle looked wistfully at the ceiling trying to think of what to say.

"Hello. How are you?"

"I um, I'm not good. Not good. I know that's not what people are supposed to say, but I've been really low lately." Chenelle sighed, ", but that's really not why I stopped by." Chenelle dug in her pocket and pulled out a key. Jessie realized it was Chenelle's key to the Anderson home. "I don't know what to say or what I should say considering the reason I had it. I mean should I say, _"since I won't have to nurse you all back to health and hide the bruises I won't be needed this anymore"?_  That's kind of mean." Chenelle bent down and rubbed Smythe's head and neck. Jessie wasn't sure who she was talking to at them moment. "Should I apologize for not telling someone? It was kind of messed up. I just wanted to be a doctor so bad."

"It's not your fault." Jessie said taking the key. "Adults knew and they did nothing. I have no hard feelings toward you."

"Oh." Chenelle turned to Jessie. She wasn't aware she'd said anything out loud. "Good. I'm going now."

"Wait! ...Are you hungry? I was about to fix lunch."

"Yes...? But I have food at home?" Chenelle said her sentences as if they were questions. She was so confused. "So I will go?"

"It's just... I'm trying to move on. I'm not sure what I'll accomplish, but can you tell me what happened that night?"

"What night?"

"The night Pete was killed. Why did he...? He's never hurt you before and?"

"Umm... Do you want all of it or?"

"Please Chenelle, tell me everything."

"I do owe you. I kept your secret, so you have to keep mine." Chenelle took a deep breath. "Dr. Anderson and I were arguing about my baby. He didn't want to be around me because he thought people would assume it was his."

Jessie's eyes widened. She put her hand to her mouth before laughing nervously. "Your baby, you mean Smythe."

"No, I mean my baby."

"You're pregnant?!"

"Most likely."

"But who-?" Jessie's face fell. "Oh no... Did he-? Did Pete...?"

"Gross, it wasn't like that. You have the wrong idea. Oh gosh, ew!"

"..."

"Well I'm going to go now."

"Takes some apples, please. ...Chenelle, who else knows?"

"Just us."

"What about the father?"

"Oh my god, I've already told you. It's not Dr. Anderson's! It's not Ron's either, okay?!"

"No, that's not what I'm saying. You should tell somebody." Chenelle shook her head. "Deanna? Michonne? ...I'm sure Rick would know what to do."

Chenelle stopped at the door. "No! No, no, no! I don't want Carl to know a thing about this! None of those people! Especially that Crazy Horse, Rick Grimes!"

"..."

"I am not being childish when I say I hate them. I really do. They don't care about me. Not Carl. Not Michonne. But I hate Rick Grimes the most. ...I know he killed my friend. Gabriel would have written me or something to let me know he's alright. I didn't even get to say goodbye..." Chenelle swallowed the pain. "My life starting falling apart when he came. I lost Gabriel, my mentor Dr. Anderson, and now I'm pregnant without friends, family, a partner, or a doctor. I can't have anything happen to this baby. I-I'd kill myself."

Jessie was stunned. She didn't know what she was going to learn before speaking to Chenelle. Now she knew. She could ask what he was going to do when he grabbed her? A pregnant test? An examination? An abortion? But whatever the answer was nothing would change. She knew Pete well enough to know that he stopped teaching Chenelle medicine because of her baby. All the necessary questions were answered; Jessie had closure. She felt content, but somewhat hollow. Now what? It's not like she was going back a housewife. She didn't have a husband. She'd always be a mother, but her boys were older now and barely in the house. She was so lonely. Now she didn't even have speculation to keep her company. She could empathize with Chenelle. This was going to be hard for her, bringing a child into the world without support. Jessie wished there was something she could do, but then she realized she could. "I know you've never seen me at my best, but I have experience raising children."

"..."

"I know sign language and I'm patient and nurturing."

"You're not taking my baby either."

"I'm not saying that. I just don't want you to have to do it alone. Pregnancy is not going to be your hardest part being a mother." Jessie gave her a nervous smile. "You can stay with me. I could help you."

"It wouldn't just be me. I'm not leaving Smythe-"

"I love animals, Smythe especially."

"I also have to train the other puppies."

"If you teach me what to do, I could help out," Jessie realized how desperate she sounded. "I just want to be useful."

Chenelle thought about it for a while. Someone was going to have to watch her child when she went to work. Someone was going to have to watch the child when she was sleep. Plus Jessie was a much better cook than she was. There was only one problem. "What about Ron and Sam?"

"...I'll talk to them about it. Sam would love it. ...I'll talk to Ron."

* * *

_Chenelle was talking to herself as usual. She had a copy of Yu Yu Hakusho next to her bed. She'd borrowed it from Carl, but she had no intentions of reading it. She looked at the manga before walking away. "I'm still not into them."_

_A knock on the door broke her thoughts. Part of her was hoping it was Gabriel. She missed talking to him; she refused to believe he was dead. She prayed he was just laying low until things blew over. To her surprise it was Carl. She felt a weird mixture of sorrow and excitement when she let him in. She wanted it to be Gabriel, but Carl always made her heart race. "Hey Chenelle."_

_"Hi Carl," she felt her heart beat even faster. "S-so, what are you up to?"_

_"Just waiting on Enid to return."_

_"Oh. Por supuesto que vas a hacer eso."_

_Carl laughed. He was used to her random outbursts of Spanish. "There you go talking about me," he joked. Smythe barked and jumped at Carl's legs. He bent down and rubbed the hunting dog's head and neck. "I missed you too, Smythe. You miss me? You miss me?"_

_"Yeah, he does. You only seem to visit Enid..." Chenelle looked at the floor._

_Carl blushed. "I guess I do." Carl rubbed Smythe's stomach. "It's not like I don't like hanging out with you. Sometimes it's just good to talk to someone who knows what it's like... you know... out there."_

_"..."_

_It grew silent. Carl noticed Chenelle stopped looking down and had her locked eyes on him. She glared at him. "What?"_

_"Go fuck yourself," Chenelle said. She turned around and stormed to her room. Not understanding what he did wrong, Carl followed her. She walked faster and pulled the door to her room open. Smythe passed her and jumped onto the bed. Chenelle tossed the manga at Carl and pointed him to the door. "Get the hell out my house! Something I should have said to you when I was out there!" Carl looked at the wall. He had insulted her without knowing it._

_"I'm sorry..."_

_"You really think she's something special just because she's killed a few zombies? So what! I had to hunt for my food. I've killed more zombies than I can count! Fuck, I've killed people!"_

_"...you've killed people?" Chenelle froze. She'd never told anybody this, not even Gabriel. Even though she was mad, she still had a crush on Carl and cared what he thought. She grew nervous that he'd view her as a monster. That wasn't the case. Carl looked at her with a new understanding. "You could have told me. I've had to too."_

_"I know. How come we never talked about this before?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"Um... I take back kicking you out. I'm sorry about telling you to f-fuck yourself."_

_"It's okay. I didn't know you cussed."_

_"I don't really...," she said lowly._

_"..."_

_Chenelle sat on her bed. Carl sat on the other end. "Can I ask you a question?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Who was your first kill?"_

_"..."_

_"Oh..." Chenelle could feel from his silence it must have been someone close. She wasn't going to push him even though she was very curious. She decided to tell him her first time so it'd be less awkward. "My first kill was my cousin Luca and his girlfriend. They came about five weeks after my parents disappeared. They were stealing rations from me. They were loud, reckless, and went scouting for drugs instead of supplies. But on the fourth day I went without food, I knew it was either me or them. Smythe ripped Vanessa apart while I stabbed Luca to death." Chenelle sighed with contentment. "I left them outside to bleed out. They turned and I never had to see them again." Chenelle faced him. Her braids fell down her shoulders. Carl never noticed how pretty her hair was. The weave was very frayed, but overall shaped her face well. She had really large and expressive eyes. He loved their darkness. "You know what's messed up? I'd do it again. Sometimes I wonder if I really liked it. It was just... I don't know how to describe it. Thrill? Knowing that I'm going to be the one to live? I don't know." Carl swallowed. He understood exactly what she was saying. "I've never had to again because after that I've been with you... and the others." He wanted to agree with her, but he was having an issue composing himself. Her story had his blood running. Unfortunately, it was showing in the wrong area. "Are you okay? You're turning red."_

_"Me? I'm good. I'm-" Chenelle crawled over to him. She felt the glands in his neck before feeling his forehead. Carl was embarrassed; this was not the time to have his cute friend touch him. She was oblivious to the signs, but ironically assessed him as a doctor would. By chance she saw what he'd wanted to hide._ _Finally understanding the situation, she blushed. Chenelle wanted to act as if she didn't, but she continued to look at his erection. "Shit."_

_"It's not a bad thing. You're a teenage boy. These "things" happen sometimes."_

_"There you go talking about me...," he whispered._

_"Well, yeah I talk about you. I like you," she said even lower._

_They locked eyes. Chenelle felt as if she would pass out when she felt the distance close between them. She had always wanted this to happen. Carl was her first love, her first kiss, her first everything. One thing seemed to lead to another. Although it wasn't Carl's first kiss, he'd been a virgin too. He was proud of himself for remembering to use protection. Unfortunately, it had expired three year prior to their use._

**(A/N) I couldn't fit everything I wanted into this chapter. The thing about what happened on the run, Chenelle's baby, and the trip to Grady will be on the next chapter. To answer questions Carl is around 17, Chenelle is around 15. Even though there wasn't Richonne in this chapter, everything was needed to continue.**

_**Next Chapter: Rick and Michonne talk about the horrors outside the walls.** _


	10. To Grady and Back (Part One)

Rick woke up to see Michonne sleeping next to him. Every time he woke to her next to him it amazed him. This was reality. He'd spent two years trying to find his family. Maybe there was a God. To find his family not once, but twice? Nobody was that lucky. The world was not small. He knew that firsthand. He'd searched five states essentially on foot. Nothing stopped him; it was all that mattered. It gave his mind time to develop the happiest and also the darkest hypotheticals to the location of his children. Every time he had doubts of their survival, he'd remember who he'd left them with. There was nobody like her. Michonne was a survivor. She'd saved their lives many times over. Carl listened to her; he respected her. In the past, Carl respected Michonne more than his father! Rick debated whether or not that fact was still true. Michonne was an angel in Rick's mind. Her image kept his nightmares away, kept the depression away, gave him hope to continue looking. Eventually he realized how gorgeous she was. Her image had morphed from an immaculate angel to his sexual fantasy. Occasionally he'd relieve himself with plans of what he'd do when he found her. He imagined her as many things. He imagined his family in different ways. Now that he was in Alexandria he realized the way he imagined Carl, Judith and Michonne were simply that, an image.

They didn't look they way they did in the past. Carl was nearly his height now, his hair was shorter and tidy. There was no attitude like before and even though Rick could since uneasiness when they were alone, Carl didn't hate being with him. His son worked a lot so he barely saw him. He didn't understand why Carl didn't stay in the house, but at least he was staying inside the walls. Judith changed the most. She was more of a child than a baby. She was such a beautiful girl. Rick couldn't believe he had the opportunity to watch her grow. He'd keep her alive. He'd lost her too many times. Lastly, Michonne, she didn't look the way she did in the past. Her locks were much longer and very neat. She had scars. It wasn't just her physical. Michonne smiled more; she had other friends. She also wasn't the moral compass he thought she was. And although she mothered his children, she didn't reserve herself as his wife. Rick caressed her sleeping face. He grinned to himself; he certainly solved that problem. He got rid of his competition. The only people in the way of Rick and Michonne were Rick and Michonne. Rick knew his actions were wrong, but he couldn't find himself to feel bad for it. Having his family, his family including Michonne as the matriarch, made his two years of hell worth it.

Michonne woke up. She was very irritated. Rick had no concept of personal space. She always woke up to Rick staring at her, touching her, or deliberately waking her up. "If this thing is going to work, you're going to have to trust me enough to sleep through the night."

"I do trust you. I trust you with everythang."

"Everything, but you."

"It's not you Michonne."

"I know it's not." Michonne turned to him. Her face was serious. "Stop forcing this."

"Michonne-"

"Stop forcing this."

"..."

"I already said I'd try. This has a chance, we have a chance. But it's not going to happen overnight."

"You're right. I'm sorry." In his years of knowing her, they'd spent more time separated than together. But in his attempts to keep her close, he was steadily driving her away.

"So why'd you wake me?"

"...I was just thankin' 'bout the times I thought about you to keep my sanity." Michonne's lips moved into a brief smile. That was a trait they both shared. "Are you still seein' me?" Rick asked, referencing the time he caught her talking to the hallucination of him.

Michonne shrugged. "Not since you've given power back to the Monroes." Rick wanted to mention that it was proof that she loved him. Of all the people Michonne could have conjured -Mike, Andrea, Daryl, Hershel- she made him. "I don't know why I'm still doing it. You're right here. You've stopped. I should have stopped too."

"It's different. I came to everythang I wanted. My kids were alive and you were single."

"Not exactly."

Ignoring her comment, he continued. "Your lifestyle changed. You're not used to me."

"You're not used to me," Michonne countered.

"No. I'm not."

"..."

"Remember the way were were before?"

"...I think about it everyday."

"Me too."

"You saved my life, Rick. You gave me a home. Family. Friends. And even when we lost it. I knew..." Michonne thought about a tragic new year's. She remembered everything about that day: the leader's plan about raping her and Carl, being molested by one of the men, watching as Carl was almost raped, getting trapped at Terminus, telling Carl about Andre, and her moment with both Grimes men. That day was unforgettable:

_"You okay?"_

_"Yeah"_

_"I'm okay."_

_"I know."_

_"How"_

_"'Cause I'm okay, too."_

"I meant what I said three years ago. I was okay, so I knew you were okay. We were- I don't know. I really don't know, but whatever it was it was why I never doubted that you were alive. I was good. So I knew you were too."

"What happened to us?"

"Stuff," Michonne said vaguely. She looked at him with a serious expression. "A lot of things happened."

"Ain't it weird. Before Grady, before Atlanta, you were my left hand. I didn't have to worry about anythan' if you were tasked with it. We didn't talk much, but we didn't have to. We were just that connected. You knew my grief. You knew my rage. You knew me. And I needed you. Carl wasn't responding to me; he only listened to you. We'd just lost everythang. But no matter what it was you were ready to do it. That night... The night those bastard tried to rape you and my boy. When I did what I had to everyone froze, but not you. You didn't hesitate. Even before Daryl..." Rick brushed one of her locks out of her face. "You held Carl and helped him when I couldn't. It was always you... When we were apart I felt so stupid that I never saw that you were supposed to be more than with me. You should have been my wife." Michonne realize he was doing more than just speaking. He was asking. "You should be my wife."

"...don't rush this."

"I won't. No, I'll try. But I want you. I need you. I can't see anything else."

Michonne's heart tripled its beats. Rick could feel how hot she'd got. He smirked that he'd made her blush. He saw her body continue to respond to his touch. Rick moved closer to her. Michonne's nipples hardened and pushed against their sheet. Rick cupped her breast and kissed her neck. Michonne shuddered. "Be gentle."

"Teach me how."

Michonne nodded and closed her eyes. "Just continue touching me, like that. When you get to my pussy, don't touch it dry." Rick pulled her against his body. She could feel his erection press against her. At first she thought Rick would flip her over and fuck her into the mattress. He was always a desperate lover, taking her fast and hard instead of taking his time. This time she was wrong. Rick kissed her neck and used both hands to fondle her breasts. She melted from the feeling of his rough hands over her body. He began to explore her, his hands traveled from her breasts down her stomach, her hips, and thighs. He rubbed her thighs and lightly pulled them apart. He scooted closer to her, pushing his hard member against her. He was throbbing in anticipation. He back was against his abs and pecs. She knew of his strength and started to give in to his new-found affection. He wouldn't ram into her tonight. It was something different.

Michonne turned to face him. Rick looked at her gorgeous body and then her face. They kissed each other. It was slow. Rick was shaking; he was burning with desire, but he couldn't let it take him. Rick was starting to realize that he didn't have to. He didn't have to be savage and brutal. He could finally relax. He was with her. He was safe. They were safe. He could let it go. A tear fell from his eyes. "I love you."

"Stop it." Michonne begged.

"I do." Rick insisted placing her on her back. He kissed her neck and stared at her scar. More tears fell. He placed his lips over it.

"No," Michonne whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"..."

"I would have never let it happen." Michonne tried to pull away. Rick pushed her back on the bed. "It would have been different."

Michonne touched his scars. She felt the same way. The madness they'd gone through apart. It would have been different if they were together. Michonne would have been observant enough to stop Jeff before he almost killed Tara. Rick wouldn't have let Michonne get ripped apart. The other horrors they'd gone through, they both believed it wouldn't have happened. Michonne didn't want to hear anymore. It was too much. Michonne felt her own eyes prickle. She didn't expect to feel; she didn't want to. She knew that she'd asked for this, but she wasn't ready. She wanted to go back. "Just fuck me." She positioned herself for him to push inside. "Just fuck me."

Rick felt his head rub against her moist folds. He thought about how good it felt to bury himself in her goods. He almost forgot the situation and obliged. Instead he placed his hand down there. He felt the opening of her folds; he wasn't even inside and could feel her wetness. Rick remembered Michonne's advice and lubricated his fingers with her own juices. Michonne squirmed. She was feeling impatient and anxious. Rick kissed her chest and used two of his fingers to feel her. He couldn't see; timidly he searched for her clit. Rick ran across, then past her nub. He went back and moved against it cautiously. Michonne pushed herself against him. She cried out when his mouth latched on to a swollen nipple. He was trying to please her two different ways. His movements were awkward and without rhythm or skill. Michonne opened her eyes to see his. She could read every emotion in his face. She saw his vulnerability, the fear, and his sincerity. He wanted to please her. He wanted to love her. He started to succeed.

Michonne pushed her hips into the motion of his hands and felt pleasure shoot down her legs. She moaned, encouraging him to continue. Rick rubbed her harder now substituting his two fingers with the top of his hand. Michonne kept looking in Rick's eyes. She trembled. Rick continued to persist; Michonne continued to assist. As they worked together Michonne started to feel feel a familiar tension and electricity build within her; she erupted into an orgasm. Rick could feel her walls quake. Her eyes rolled back and closed. She fell back on the bed and weakly reached for Rick. Rick rubbed his aching cock and slowly pushed inside of Michonne. She tensed; her walls contracted even more. Rick groaned from the feeling. He was sure he could cum just from Michonne flexing her walls around him. He felt more relaxed now that he was inside of her. It had been a while since he'd had to perform sexual favors and foreplay. He could do this though. Michonne grabbed Rick's neck and moved her hips on his dick. "Christ, Michonne. Fuck..." Rick matched her movements. They rode each other until Rick threw his head back and came inside Michonne.

Rick caught his breath and lay next to Michonne. Michonne was starring at the ceiling. It was silent. Their minds were racing. A lot had happened that morning. They were different. Rick felt as if they were official; Michonne finally accepted that there was something there. Although they still weren't on the same wavelength, it was a start.

Suddenly, they were jolted up by loud banging on their door. Rick motioned for Michonne to stay back. He grabbed his pants and went towards the door with his gun. Whoever it was outside started ramming their door trying to break it down. The weakness Rick had shown Michonne had died the moment he stepped into the living room. Rick heard a weird choking sound outside his door. It sounded like a mixture of coughing and wheezing; it was a baby's cough. Rick lowered his gun and instantly opened the door. Tyreese barreled into their home with wild eyes. He cradled Judith in his large hands. Carl brought her to Tyreese's house before his shift since they were all working that day. Something had happened. Judith was gasping for air. She was scared, but was unable to cry. She reached for her father, weakly. Her lips and fingers were blue. Rick was mortified.

"JUDY'S HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK!"

* * *

Michonne and Rick sat in silence as they watch their little girl sleep. Michonne had managed to give Judith her emergency inhaler. After lying with Judith in the rescue position, they all began to breathe easy. For a countless time, Rick found himself amazed with Michonne. She was calm when he and Tyreese panicked. She saved Judith's life again. It made him wonder how many times Judith had an attack with Michonne. Michonne mentioned Judith was a sickly child, but he was just realizing what she meant.

_"I know that's hard to picture because you've never seen her starve; you've never seen her face swell from ant bites; and you've never seen her gasp for air when she has an asthma attack!"_

_"..."_

_"You could see her ribs when we got here. She needed medical attention, not a haircut. So no, I didn't care what happened to Jessie, Ron, or Sam. Only me and mine." Before he could protest she cut him off. "I was attacked by a wild pack of dogs. My wounds kept reopening. The ones Gabriel stitched filled with pus and got worse. It needed surgery. Guess who did it?" She forced Rick to look at her. "You must like Jessie a lot. Otherwise you would see it from my perspective."_

He was starting to understand her a lot more now. It also began to sink in that he'd killed the only doctor. He'd gone so long without one that he'd forgotten how invaluable they were. Rick had a sick child and he'd killed the only doctor.

"I messed up, Michonne."

"..."

"I really messed up."

"We'll get through this."

"No. No, we won't. Not like this." Rick wanted to punch something. "What if we run out of her medication? You say she's allergic to something."

"Ants."

"Jesus Christ..." Rick thought about how many ants were in their yard at that very moment. "I really fucked up."

"I know her medications."

"It's not just that. You know it's not just that. What if something happens. Not just Judith, but anyone. Accidents happen everyday. Maybe a virus sweeps through here, like at the prison. Shit, what if... What if you're pregnant?"

"..."

"You could be pregnant right now and I killed the only doctor in Alexandria."

Michonne thinks about his words. "We do have newborns around here. I think the pills are now gone. We might have to do another run for condoms. But those are no longer foolproof either. The ones in our dresser expired three years ago. We might have a population increase soon."

"Or decrease. Lori, their birth mother, died in childbirth."

"...Sex is dangerous." Michonne was quiet for a while. "We were late because we ran into a rouge group. They got Rosemary and we went to find her. And we did... They were running a brothel full of women and children, dead and alive. Someone must have, someone must have raped a walker right before raping her. Cause when we found sick from the infection. The ones we saved were so traumatized they didn't trust us enough to come to Alexandria. I've never been happier to kill." Michonne shook her head. "Daryl put her down so she didn't have to turn. It's so fucked up that something like this could happen to anybody, especially someone I know. It's even more fucked up that I'm very relieved that it wasn't me."

"..."

"..."

"I have an idea. You might not like it."

"What?"

"I know of a place with a doctor." Michonne already knew what he was about to say before he said it. "If Grady is still running we can take him, bring him here. He's their most valuable member. We'd have to kill everyone there, what I wanted to do initially, then we can take him. He may resist at first, but he'll adapt or die." Michonne was deep in thought. "Well?"

"We've got to try. I'm with you. I'm going with you this time."

"No. I want you safe. I want the kids safe."

"We aren't separating again. We just aren't. Tyreese, Carol, Sasha, Abraham," she made Rick look at him. "Glenn, Maggie, Daryl. They'll protect our kids. We'll figure it out. Plus we have to make sure this goes smoothly."

Rick was amused. "And you're the person for the job?"

Michonne rubbed Judith's hair. "This trip will be different. We don't let it happen again."

Rick still didn't like it, but he wouldn't argue with Judith sleeping next to them. Unsure it was true, he copied her. "We won't let it happen again."

**Later...**

After discussing thing for two weeks they finally prepared for their trip to Grady. Rick, Michonne, Daryl, Tara, Noah, Aiden, Aaron, and Nicholas. Were chosen to make the trip. Michonne lied to the Monroes saying they would discuss bringing everyone back to the community. Rick was happy to have her. He was a blunt man, but Michonne knew how to finesse them. Because it was supposed to be an act of diplomacy, Aaron and Noah were supposed to come. Even though Noah's mother was against his leaving, she allowed him because his mind was made up. Nicholas and Aiden were supposed to help with security, but Rick already wrote them off as decoys. His only concern was his circle: Daryl, Tara and Michonne.

Carl and Judith were to stay with Tyreese or the Rhees. Even though Carl wanted to go they didn't relent like Noah's mother. He was staying in the Safe Zone. It was important that he did. It was safer; plus he was one of the only people who knew how to give Judith her medication when she needed. Carl scowled, but had no choice, but to accept it.

Deanna threw a party to wish the crew good luck on their mission. There was food, music, and alcohol. Everyone from the Safe Zone that wasn't on guard duty was there. Abraham was showing off his sons, while Rosita laughed about something with Tara. When Abraham started drinking she left with the twins. Tara drifted, but stared at her companions most of the time. Carol was still trying to keep the Safe Zone facade despite revealing her true nature when Rick took over Alexandria. Rick and Michonne were there. They sat and watched others dance and converse. Eyes kept locking with Rick's. The last party they had Rick had killed Pete.

Rick looked at the Andersons. Ron was with the other teenagers including his son. He wasn't sure how that was happening, but knew Carl could handle the oldest Anderson son. Rick smiled, 'like father, like son.' Sam was shadowing Daryl, much to the archer's annoyance. Rick was surprised Daryl came. Perhaps that was Carol's doing. She was cunning like that. Lastly, he saw Jessie. She was talking to Olivia when she saw him looking. She gave him a bright smile and waved. Rick looked at her curiously before returning that smile. He waved in return. Rick stopped when he felt a strong kick to his calf.

Judith laughed, "Da-dee make a funny face!"

"Daddy is acting funny, huh?" Michonne said cryptically.

Judith nodded happily. "Silly da-dee!"

Michonne glared at Rick. "Silly daddy."

"Jealous?" Rick asked. Michonne was not amused. She scooped Judith and left the table. "Michonne. Michonne!" She ignored him and took Judith to the dance floor. Rick watched with a large smile on his face. Judith jumped up and down as her dance. Michonne held her hands and swayed her arms to the beat. They mirrored Chenelle who was dancing with her dog. As usual she wasn't with the other teenagers. The black teenager was smiling brightly though. She was wearing a beautiful red dress and her hair was wild with curls after taking out her braids. Whatever her problem was, must have been over thought Rick.

Rick didn't tire of watching his family live life. Michonne helped Judith with the Cha Cha Slide, Electric Slide, and Wobble. Many people joined the dance floor when they came on, but Rick wasn't one of them. Lovumba by Daddy Yankee played causing Chenelle to scream in delight, forget Smythe, and dance by herself while screaming every lyric.

Once it was eight, the party began to slow down. So did the songs. Baby Come To Me by James Ingram and Patti Austin began to play. Rick perked up. He knew this song. It made him flashback to the days when his mother would watch a taping of her favorite soap, General Hospital. For the first time that night, Rick got up. He ignored the eyes on him and approached the swaying Michonne. Judith was in her arms; they looked at him curiously. Judith was silent from sleepiness. Michonne was waiting.

He swallowed and touched her arm. "Would you like to dance?"

"I am dancing."

Rick rubbed his stubble and looked nervously away from Michonne. "I meant with me."

"I know." Michonne nodded. "I'll dance with you."

Rick wrapped his arms around Michonne's waist. He positioned himself to make room for Judith. Michonne started moving to the melody. Rick closed his eyes and listened to the music. It was insane how well a song from the past could relate to the way he was feeling now. Just like the song said, he wasn't going to go back to living without Michonne.

Meanwhile, Carl had been noticing Chenelle the entire night. She never made any attempt to look at him. She didn't even speak. Mikey noticed Carl looking at her. "Chenelle's kind of hot isn't she?"

"Insane, but yeah, pretty hot." Ron agreed. Enid rolled her eyes. "Grimes obviously thinks so."

Carl blushed. "It's not like that." It was. He didn't have romantic feelings for her, but he thought she was very attractive.

"You should ask her to dance."

"No."

"You're punking out?" Carl's so called friends laughed.

"I'm not scared of anything. It's just... she hates me."

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you."

"Yeah, that's like impossible on her end." Enid said. Her crush on Carl had been obvious to everyone who wasn't Carl. "I dare you."

Carl looked at his friends with slight hate before giving in to peer pressure. Chenelle had been on the dance floor the entire night with Smythe. She looked different to him. She was radiant, glowing. The dress was very loose on her, but only reach half of her thigh. Seeing her in the red dress made him remember the night they shared. Her hair was also different. She had long uniformed curls. They stayed out of her large brown eyes. They seemed not to focus on him even as he walked closer to her.

"Hey." Chenelle looked toward the ground. She saw him, but didn't want to respond. "Would you like to dance?"

"Your parents are staring at me."

"Really?" Carl turned to see Chenelle was correct. He turned red. "Fuck, this is awkward."

"It's okay. Sort of too late though considering..." She looked him in the eyes matter-of-factly. "Considering that we've already done it."

Carl blushed harder. Every time he thought moments with her couldn't get more embarrassing, she'd do something to prove him wrong. "You really didn't need to clarify."

"N-no, I did. Because after it happened I thought we were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. But your dad took over ASZ and you forgot about me. Don't worry, I'm used to it."

"I didn't forget about you."

"Yes, you did." Chenelle put his arms around her waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "And I'll never forgive you for it. Never ever."

"..." They danced together; they were full of tension, confusion, and mistrust. "So is it true you're staying with the Andersons?" He found it odd that Chenelle would move in with the Andersons; it was even stranger that he didn't know about it until now. Not the logistics, Chenelle didn't have many belongings so it would be easy to hide. Ron told him that Chenelle and his mom were training the dogs together. He wondered why Chenelle didn't tell him herself?

"I've been staying here for eight days now. It's not my fault you didn't know."

"You could have told me."

"You could have seen me before eight days passed!"

"I see. You're right about that."

Chenelle slowly backed away from him. "I'm sure Mikey is throwing a party at the spot."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"..."

"I think I know why you're mad at me, but you have to talk to me." Chenelle folded her arms and stared at him. "I don't get why you think I'm avoiding you. You know where I am. I'm at home. And if I'm not at home, I'm working at the wall. And if I'm not working at the wall, I'm in the garden. And if I'm not there, I'm at the school teaching the kids how to hide or defend themselves from walkers."

Chenelle couldn't deny that. His work ethic was one of the reasons she liked him so much. "But still-"

"You work too," Carl said interrupting her. He walked closer to her. "And you go to school; you work in the garden too. Now you're training the new dogs. You know we have to do these things to survive. Don't hate me." He could see the tears forming in her eyes. It made him feel bad. As much as he wanted to be there for her, his work would come first. He held her hand. "I don't want you to be sad anymore."

"I dropped out of school," she revealed. "All I wanted to do was be a doctor. But that can't happen now. So I have a lot more time now," Chenelle hugged herself. "I'm alone again. You know what solitude does to a person? And now y'all are making me do it again. I-I needed you. I needed you. I need you. Yes... No... No. I need Gabriel. He was always, always... Why can't I move on? He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone."

Carl shook Chenelle and forced her to look at him. "Focus. I know it hurts. He was my friend too. But you're still here. Remember that."

"If I told you that if that happened to Michonne what would you tell me?"

Carl was silent. He never thought about that. Chenelle walked away from him. Carl went to his parents. They had two days before they left. He would make every moment count.

**(A/N) I always thought I'd be done with this before season six started. I was sooooo wrong.**

_**Next Chapter: Part Two** _


	11. To Grady and Back (Part Two)

It was silent when they finally passed a sign welcoming them to North Carolina. Rick looked at Michonne. She was looking at the scenery without a clear expression. His attention went back to the road. As pleased as he was that she was by his side, they were in uncharted territory. He was sure that was also why Michonne was on high alert. If it were the reverse, Rick wouldn't be to pleased with strangers roaming though his territory. They could be attacked at any moment. Noah was sleeping in the backseat. That action made Rick realize how ill-prepared the young man was for this mission. Noah dropped his guard way too much. When they got back to Alexandria he would give the boy a lecture. Thinking about Noah's position he could see why he was so relaxed. Michonne had made countless trips outside the wall and always returned whole. Noah was there when Beth was killed; Rick wasn't willing to leave him behind then. This was reassuring because they were strangers then. Noah didn't feel like there was any reason to worry. He trusted them.

It wasn't until they reached Greensboro that they had to stop. A multitude of cars were wrecked on 70-North and it made it impossible for them to continue. Rick radioed the other cars. "We're too open. Let's turn around and take it on foot. If all goes well we can detour and get the cars on our way back."

"Copy that," Daryl said. He had been riding with Aaron.

Tara was with Nicholas and Aiden. Aiden was driving and giving her tips on making runs. Tara mentally laughed at that. Hearing Daryl and Rick over the radio made her warm with happiness. It would have been perfect if she could have ridden with them. This almost felt right. "Just like old times, right bros?"

Daryl snorted. Rick gave a small smile. "Copy." Rick handed Michonne the transceiver. He made a U-Turn and traveled away from 70-N. They were now in the outskirts of the city of Greensboro. They parked away from an empty gas station and swept the area. Finding it truly abandon, they siphoned the gas from their cars and got their supplies from the trunk. "What are we doing?" Aiden asked.

"We're going to continue the journey on foot. At least 'til we find another vehicle that will get us to A'lanta."

"On foot?! We're not even close to being out of North Carolina let alone how long it will take to walk through South Carolina!" Nicholas was outraged.

"Hey! Keep your voice down. You couldn't have possibly thought we would ride all the way to A'lanta." Rick tilted his head. "We don't have a choice! We need to move. Staying in one spot isn't safe either. We've been here. The communities here are extremely territorial."

Michonne interjected to help Rick out. They had to move fast. Nicholas and Aiden weren't seeing Rick's logic. "Talk and walk." Michonne was silent for a while, but then addressed the concerned members of their group. "We know where the cars are and nobody can steal them. We'll take it slow and careful. As for walkers they'll either be a few stragglers or a herd. We'll handle whatever happens."

"I wish we did this in the winter. They would've froze and wouldn't be a problem," Tara thought out loud.

"Won't be another exit that'll be clear 'round here." Daryl took the initiative and headed toward Atlanta. "Southwest. Ain't nuttin' to it. We know where we go'in."

They continued walking southwest for two and a half hours. It was a stressed-filled journey. They were on alert since they were walking into unknown areas. The place they traveled had truly been abandoned. It made sense, it was too visible and without resources. Rick knew from experience that locations toward the colleges and apartments would bring people. People would bring trouble. It was good that they weren't headed in that direction. Nicholas and Aiden were drenched in sweat. They tried to stay silent as much as they could, but they felt as if they would break if they walked anymore. "Are we going to take a break?"

Aaron was feeling the strain himself. He hadn't gone out for runs and rarely traveled far from Alexandria to recruit others. He looked at Michonne with a small plea. "Taking a break would be nice."

Tara looked at Michonne in confusion. This was nothing to them. Michonne returned the gaze without any emotion on her face. There was a large part of Michonne that wanted to be cold to Tara. It had only been three months since Tara's threat was made. Nothing Tara had done absolved her of that moment. The brunette's closeness with Rick meant nothing to Michonne. She wasn't a friend; she was barely an ally. If it came down to a sacrifice, Tara was on her list. That feeling was not mutual. Tara would protect Michonne only because she was Rick's family. In her mind that made them allies. Rick would protect them both.

"If we do stop, it shouldn't be here."

"When we find something safe enough, we'll stop. Maybe find another car. Finding the interstate shouldn't be too difficult where we are."

After walking another three miles, they found an empty motel. Daryl and Aaron swept through it and found it vacant minus a bug and rodent infestation. Michonne watched the the numerous inch-long roaches skitter on the wall with no real goal. She was no stranger to insects. However she was more comfortable sleeping outside than their infested room. The air was stale and she was in no mood to swat vermin. Nicholas shook, but said nothing about their accommodations. Aiden was about to, but Rick's piercing gaze and hand on his weapon made him change his mind.

"We'll rest here for the night. We should be back out there after sunrise." Rick sat beside Michonne and looked at the wall with her. He thought about a time before he found her. He was in their exact motel doing the same. Fate was on his side then and it definitely was now. "This isn't my first time here."

Michonne's face showed her interest. It became a void when Tara spoke. "Nope it certainly isn't," she said filling in the blanks for Rick. She looked Michonne in her eyes. "It wouldn't surprise me if we literally looked all over the South for you, Carl, and Judith. We even went to the university settlements. We almost didn't make it through their war. Go Tarheels, right?"

Michonne turned away. Even with that statement Tara annoyed her. She wasn't going to be petty and bring up that she'd mistaken the mascots. She looked at Rick. "Maybe it isn't best to stay here."

"We'll leave before they notice."

"Okay."

Rick wanted to tell her to sleep and he'd take first watch, but he could tell she was restless. He was trying to remember Michonne in the past and her sleep patterns. He couldn't remember if him watching her while she slept was a memory or fantasy. One thing was for sure, this current run didn't have the same feel as their runs in the past. For one, he didn't feel the same dread and uncertainty. His kids were safe and they had somewhere to return; it was also different because of his connection to her. Protecting her because she was his friends and protecting her because she was his lover was an entirely different play. He would see them home. They would return.

"Did you used to sleep? The nights I kept watch, I mean."

Michonne turned to Rick and looked in his eyes. "Yes. Unless I needed to watch over you. Or watch over me. ...I could sleep with you on guard, Rick."

"...This feels like a dream doesn't it? It doesn't feel like the old days."

"I'm glad." Michonne said sincerely.

"If I take watch first, will you sleep?"

"...no, but it's not because of you." Michonne looked Tara in her eyes as she said that part. The brunette swallowed and tried to avoid Rick's questioning gaze. She knew Rick would eventually inquire about Michonne's comment.

"Y'all go 'head and rest. I'll take first." Daryl offered.

Rick nodded and sat on the floor. He would sleep there for the night. Michonne was still seated on the bed next to him. Noah and Tara were near that bed as well. Tired from the day, Aaron ignored the uncleanliness of the bed and lied down. Aiden was about to do the same himself, but the idea of him sharing a bed with Aaron frustrated him. "This isn't going to work."

"What's not going to work?" asked Nicholas. He was hoping Aiden would say something that would allow them to go home.

"This. There are too many men here to be sharing beds. Something's got to give."

"Just sleep on the floor."

"You sleep on the floor! Better yet." Aiden pointed at Aaron. "He sleeps on the floor."

"Whoa."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" Tara asked outraged.

Aaron just wanted to sleep. "It's okay. It's okay. I don't mind."

"No." Rick said. "Stay. You don't have to move because he says to." Rick turned to Aiden. "Sleep there or the floor. Nobody is thinking about anything sexual. He has a partner."

"No." He turned to Noah. "How about I switch with him?" Aiden smirked. "Nobody's thinking about anything sexual right? Besides, Michonne has a partner."

Rick's nose flared. Aaron was about to protest when Rick said, "Go ahead."

Tara got up and took a pillow. The last thing she wanted to do was sleep in the bed with a homophobic fuckboy. Michonne's eyebrow raised. She was very confused. How was Rick okay with this nonsense? Was this the same man who barged into her life and made himself the patriarch? The same man who almost killed the man she was dating even though they weren't in a relationship? The same man who didn't want her to leave the walls of Alexandria or even the walls of their house?! Michonne didn't know what game Rick was playing and she didn't like it. She wasn't going to make a scene though.

Noah smiled sympathetically at Michonne. "It's okay. I'll stay in the middle." Michonne looked at Noah before giving him a rare smile. She thought about Andre. The two looked nothing alike, but she couldn't help, but wonder if he son would have grown up to become a man like Noah. Even as a toddler Andre was chivalrous. He would try to pull chairs and open doors for her as Mike would. Michonne was grateful for such a happy thought in the middle of Aiden's foolishness. Thoughts of Andre were so comforting, she actually went to sleep.

Rick stayed awake.

* * *

The next morning they were back to walking. Approximately a week and a half later, they'd walked to Brevard, North Carolina. The mountains were making travel less easy. After sleeping in an abandoned church, they found an abandoned Infiniti and crammed inside. Unfortunately, they only made it to Pickens, South Carolina before the Infiniti broke down. Now they were looking for viable cars.

Aiden had gone by himself after seeing a house he was sure would have a fueled car. Aiden approached it only to see a family of dead ones stuck in that house. It was odd. They were just sitting there doing nothing. Aiden would think they were alive if it wasn't for their decaying faces. No matter how many runs he did dead ones were always unknown and scary to him. He was about to turn around when Rick appeared behind him. "Somethang wrong?"

"No, it's just."

"Just four of them. I'm sure it's nothing. They're immobile because they haven't eaten in a while. Perfect house to check."

"...Thank you." Aiden felt so inept. It meant a lot that this survivalist complimented him. It went to his head. "I knew it was." Rick tried the door finding it unlocked. He motioned Aiden to follow. Aiden hesitated, but went inside. He was sure Rick could take out the walkers if necessary. Rick closed the door to where the walkers were hidden. Aiden frowned. "Why didn't you shoot them?"

"No need to waste the energy. Or the bullets. Not for this." Rick cleared the house and started looking for keys.

"What if they open the door?"

"They won't."

Aiden had never seen zombies sit in chairs before that day so he wasn't too convinced that they couldn't turn knobs. "What if the keys are in there?"

"Isn't that obvious?"

"No need to get smart, Grimes." Rick and Aiden looked through drawers and cabinets. They eventually got to a bedroom. Rick sat on the bed and looked at Aiden. Aiden thought about the fuss he made about Aaron in the motel. He realized how desperate he looked. He wanted to clear the air. "Look, about that thing with Michonne. I wouldn't have tried anything. She's not my type. I didn't mess with her. I can be a dick, but-"

"I know you didn't touch her." Rick touched the old cotton pillow and continued speaking. "But you got to understand, that's my wife."

"I already apologized. Take it or leave it." Rick looked at Aiden. Aiden stared back. "What?"

Rick got up calmly. It happened so quickly Rick didn't even have time to process things. In four steps, Rick had taken out his machete and skewered Aiden's throat. He removed the weapon and watched as Aiden gasped for air. His throat filled with blood. It gushed from the wound and spurt from his mouth. Rick watched Aiden's struggle. It surprised him that Aiden didn't go for his weapon, not even once. He held his throat, but was weak from shock. He suffered too much blood loss. Aiden fell on the ground, barely mobile in a puddle of his blood. Rick walked to him stepping on his shoulders so there wouldn't be a struggle as he removed his weapons. Rick didn't even bother to watch his death. He felt almost indifferent about this kill. Rick opened the door for the the walkers. He was certain the scent of blood would make them move. He left knowing walkers would cover his murder.

It was a shock to most of the group when Rick _happened_ to come across Aiden's massacred body. The scene was too much for Nickolas who needed to puke. Noah and Aaron felt a lot of sympathy for the fallen Monroe. Michonne sighed and tried not to let it get to her. When she was turning away she noticed Daryl in silence. Daryl looked over the body and then squatted to get a better look. He looked at Rick before going on his way. Michonne felt that was weird. She considered taking a closer look. She didn't.

**Later...**

After no success with cars, they went from Pickens, South Carolina to Six Mile, South Carolina on foot. They stayed in Six Mile for the night before taking two different cars to Gainesville, Georgia where they found gas to go to Atlanta. Noah navigated them a location near Grady and a building to stay for the night. Daryl looked at it remembering this as the place he first met Noah. Minus structural damage, not much had changed from the desolation. They decided to get a full rest before they went to Grady. The survivors had a bad feeling before they opened the doors of the building. It wasn't unwarranted. As soon as Noah touched the door, nine officers surrounded them. The survivors matched their guns with guns.

"Put your weapons down!"

"That's not going to happen. We don't know you people," Rick said. It was true. He couldn't remember any of the officer's names or faces. It'd been so long. He knew they wouldn't recognize him without his beard.

However they did notice someone. "Wait. Noah? Noah, what are you doing back?" It was Officer McGinley.

Officer Licari was still alive and kept his weapon ready. He scanned everyone, but found himself drawn to Rick. It wasn't until he looked in those cold blue eyes that he realized who Rick was. "Oh no, not this asshole."

"We're not here to try anything. Not after last time. We just need to talk to Shepard. We found a place. It's kind of far, but it's safe. Walls. People. It's... My home." Noah really wanted them to come to Alexandria.

"Shepard ain't alive no more. Tanaka's in charge."

Aaron decided to intervene. He walked forward. The officers turned their weapons on him, but he slowly put his down. Aaron approached them with hands raised. "Hello, I'm Aaron." His introduction was met with silence. "Right. I'm a representative of our home. It's a safe zone. All of us are residents. I can see that you're making it right now, but I think we could offer you more."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"Grass. Trees. All kinds of fruits and vegetables grown from our crops and orchards. We can offer you homes with beds, electricity, running water, indoor plumbing. And as great as all of this is, it could be better with you all. We want you, all of you, to share it with us. If you just look in my bag you'll see everything. The walls, reinforced by strong steel. The school-"

"Shut up, if this place is so grand why'd you travel all the way for us?" Licari didn't trust this.

Aaron decided to tell the truth. "...we have no doctor."

Licari looked at Rick. "Something tells me that was your doing." Rick glared at him, but didn't say anything.

A surprising voice said, "I'm in." It was a female officer by the name of Bello. "I'm sure Tanaka will be too. This place... There's nothing left. Barely any electricity. Food is scarce. We're dying one by one in there. I'm in."

"And your doctor?" Tara asked.

"Shit. We see exactly what you want. How do you know that you won't just kill us and take our doctors?"

Rick's eye raised. He didn't miss the slip that the novice officer gave. Doctors, there were more than one. He didn't reply, he let their ambassador speak. "That seems like a lot of effort. We honestly don't have enough intell to do such a thing. I know it's hard to trust anyone now a days, but believe me. This benefits both of us. We've even lost a dear friend just for this to work."

"You've lost people on this trip?" asked McGinley

"Just one."

Rick looked at Aaron. He was way too honest. Alvarado didn't like those statistics. "How can you assure us that we won't die?"

"What happened to him won't happen to y'all... as long as you're careful. I can promise you that." Michonne looked at Rick suspiciously. There was something about his semantics that she didn't like. She stayed silent though. "From what it sounds staying in Atlanta is not an option. We've never lied to you. Let's work better this time around."

"I say we address this to Tanaka."

"Sure, what the hell."

"After all we outnumber them." The officers put up their weapons. Rick thought about his original plan before conceding to this one. He didn't like the idea of so many strangers going back to Alexandria with his family, but knew that if it came to it, he would have the advantage there than in Atlanta.

* * *

After talking with Tanaka, the schmoozing primarily done by Aaron, the survivors of Grady agreed to come to Alexandria. They had a lot of preparation before they moved forward. It took over a month to gather enough fuel and vehicles to carry everyone and the equipment. The officers, Michonne, Aaron, and Rick made maps of places to avoid so they could travel back to Alexandria as safely as possible. Rick, Daryl, and several officers made trips to clear cars so they wouldn't get trapped. Eventually they were ready to leave.

Rick saw Michonne thinking by the elevator shaft leading to a pit of walkers. He never got why people did this, but it was the only place in the hospital it was understood was private. There was only the moans and hisses of walkers below. Rick sat next to her and held her hand. Michonne grabbed hold of it, but continued looking into the darkness. "We're on our way home tomorrow."

"I miss the kids."

"Me too. It seems like we've been gone so long."

"It's the longest you've been away from them, hasn't it?"

"It has." She couldn't imagine how Rick lasted two years without them. Michonne thought about her words before speaking. "Rick, I have to ask you some things. These are things I need to know before we go back. I want you to be honest with me."

"Okay." The tone in her voice made him nervous.

"Did you kill Aiden?"

"...yeah, yeah I killed him"

"Oh Rick..." He couldn't stand the disappointment in her voice.

"There's only one man that sleeps with you. Noah's a boy. But him? He was testing me. I couldn't-"

"Rick!"

"What?"

She looked him in the eyes. "We are out here for this ever reason! You just can't- That was the Deanna's son. You just can't kill people without thinking!"

"...I put a lot of thought into this one."

"Jesus..."

"He's done nothing to benefit the community. Nothing to benefit this group. He was an asshole and he got himself killed. I just made it happen."

"Something was going to happen, you didn't have to make it happen."

He was cringing knowing he'd caused Michonne's disappointment. The logical side of Rick knew what he did was wrong; however, no part of him felt remorse. Rick was only nervous that it might undo the progress he'd made with Michonne. "I'm sorry."

"We'll never mention it."

"Is there something else you need to ask me?"

"Yes..." Michonne pulled away from Rick. She almost didn't want to ask. This had been on her mind for months, but she'd always been afraid of the answer. "Did you kill Gabriel?" Rick was stunned for a moment. He wasn't sure how to answer the question. He didn't know what she knew and didn't know how she'd take the truth. "Did. You. Kill. Gabriel."

"..."

"Answer the question, Rick."

"I didn't kill him." Michonne searched for the truth. "I didn't kill him." Michonne gave a sigh of relief. Gabriel was alive. She closed her eyes and allowed the uncertainty she had disappear. She could tell there was more, but she didn't have it in her to ask. Maybe one day she would, but it wouldn't be now. "Are we okay?"

"We're okay."

"Okay. Let's get going."

Rick pushed himself away from the opening and stood up. Michonne's butt and legs were numb from the cold and hardness of the floor. Michonne attempted to get up another way. She turned around and to pull herself out of the shaft, but Michonne's injured shoulder couldn't take the weight of her body. Her arm collapsed. She felt herself slip, "RICK!" Michonne calmed her flailing legs and grasped the floor. Her heart was racing, but she needed to stay calm. She could feel her hands get weaker. This moment only lasted seconds, but time felt endless at this moment. She knew if the fall didn't kill her the zombies below would.

Rick turned in horror. He couldn't see Michonne. Her arm was too slender for him to see it in the darkness. He called for her. "Michonne!" His heart was beating so loudly he wasn't sure he would be able to hear the impact if she fell.

"My goddamn shoulder gave out. I can't hold it much longer."

Rick felt crawled on the ground and felt for her arm. Once he found it he wasted no time pulling her up. His grip hurt, but she rather a sore wrist than no life. Once he pulled her up to her torso, he grabbed her waist and pulled her to safety. Her breath was heavy from fear. They could feel the erratic throb of their hearts. Even safe, they were still uneasy. Of all the ways to die, she new thought it could be a simple accident. Neither did Rick this moment instilled new paranoia within him. "Are you scratched? Bit?"

"No."

"Let me see."

"I'm okay!"

"...Before we go, you need that doctor to take a look at your shoulder. How'd your arm, just give out like that?"

"It's an old injury, Rick. It's never been like it was. I just made a stupid mistake."

"You need rest. We can put off the trip."

"No. We most certainly won't. We don't have the luxury of staying another night, especially for something so minor."

"You almost died. You're injured."

"I didn't die. I won't die. I'm going to make it home. I promise."

Rick took a deep breath. He knew she was right. They had to get home. There were more people than themselves to consider. Rick knew to trust her. "Alright."

* * *

Four and a half months passed since they'd last seen their home. With most of their RVs and cars still remaining, they finally made it through the gates of Alexandria. Rick stepped outside and and smiled. This trip was worth it. They gained more people: people who knew healthcare, people who knew defense, and the rest could learn. They had two doctors: a surgeon and a psychiatrist. Most of all, she had made it. Michonne grabbed her bag and embraced the gorgeous sunlight. She was so happy she couldn't hide it from her face. Rick rubbed her arms and kissed her shoulder. He couldn't wait to see his children. He couldn't wait to live again.

"Dad! Michonne!" "MeSown! Dadee!"

Their family greeted them at the gate. Rick held on to Carl as if he would disappear if he let go. Michonne watched happily. She almost cried when Judith ran to her. Her hair was much longer and darker than when she left. She had more teeth and seemed to grow so much from the last time she'd seen Judith.

"I miss you, MeSown." Those words had done it. Michonne hugged the little girl and let tears fall.

"I missed you too, Judy. I missed you two so much." Michonne picked Judith up and walked to Carl. She smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

"Ah hell, Michonne." Carl blushed. PDA from his parents was so embarrassing.

Rick ignored the cussing from his son and tried to get Judith. "No!" She denied him and nuzzled deeper into Michonne's neck. Rick sighed.

Carl laughed. "At least that hasn't changed. There's so much I have to catch you all up on."

"I guess we do too."

Carl shrugged. "We can take turns I guess. Did you find the doctor?"

"Yep and many people who helped him in the hospital. So now it's not just up to one person." Rick couldn't stop himself from reporting everything from Grady. "We also have so nice equipment that still works. More medication for Judy. This was a fantastic run."

"I know Denise will be happy to hear that. She's been doing well, but I'm sure she'll be happy that it's not all on her. ...the doctor knows how to deliver babies right?"

"Of course."

"Good... Chenelle is pregnant."

"What?!"

"Yeah, very, very pregnant."

"How could this have happened? Who's the father?"

"I don't know," Carl answered honestly. Although he slept with her, they used a condom. From what he knew that should have been enough.

"I bet you it was that asshole, Pete Anderson." Rick thought, disgusted with the deceased doctor.

"Everybody thinks that, especially since she now lives with Mrs. Anderson, Ron, and Sam."

Rick shook his head. Pete was dead, there wasn't anything else she could do. "That's sad, but at least we have a psychiatrist that can give her the therapy she needs."

Michonne looked at him. Chenelle wasn't the only person who could benefit from talking to Dr. Russels. She would talk to Rick about it in private. She knew being with his family was changing him, but they could only do so much. This trip had been hard on Rick. After they left Grady, they got caught in a herd. Noah was caught, but held onto Tara begging her not to leave him. Rick had to cut off Noah's arm to save Tara. Noah died miserably before Rick could train him. Michonne almost choked up. Noah reminded her of Andre. That moment brought some of the pain back from losing him. "We lost nine people on this trip. Aiden and Noah died."

"...Tyreese is dead."

"No." Michonne thought about Yolanda. The woman had now lost her lover and son. "How?"

That question brought a change in Carl. Any positive vibes he had soon faded. Rick didn't like the unpropitious look he gave.

"We're in trouble."

**(A/N) Sorry this update took so long. On an unrelated note, I've been writing this story for more than a year! Yay!**

_**Next Chapter: After helping an allied settlement, Alexandria has gained a dangerous enemy.** _


	12. March to War (Part I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandria encounters the Saviors.

Sasha and Abraham were on their way to the Hilltop Settlement. They long had an agreement that they would stay separate from each other, but it'd been a while since anyone from Alexandria had crossed paths with anyone from Hilltop. They made a trip to see if it was still standing; and, they also wanted to see if they could journey to their doctor since they currently were without one.

"You're quiet, darling."

Sasha rolled her eyes. "I just don't waste time with empty conversation."

Abraham continued, "Still we've been friends for how long? We should be able to hold some form of communication."

Sasha laughed at that sentence. "Friends? I don't think we've said two words to each other."

"Really? Well that's a damn shame." Abraham looked over to Sasha again. Her face was still twisted in its usual scowl. Even discontent, there was no denying Sasha was a beautiful woman. These are moments when he was really grateful for the zombie apocalypse. There was no time for makeup or pretense. What you saw was what you got. If you fell asleep with a beautiful woman, you'd wake up with a beautiful woman. He loved naturally beautiful women. Sasha was definitely a natural beauty. He knew he shouldn't be looking at Sasha. He'd just had children, a set of twins, with Rosita; but he couldn't stop his eyes from wondering. He and Rosita were never officially a couple; this is what he told himself when he asked Sasha: "So how are you and what's-his-face?"

"Why do you care?"

"Just making conversation. I'm guessing from that reaction that either he's shit, or it went to shit. That's shitty."

"Again, why do you care?"

Abraham smirked. He loved fiery women. "Again, just making conversation."

"Bullshit..." Sasha turned her attention to the outside. She was done with this useless chatter.

"Bullshit, indeed."

After an awkward silence, they arrived to the gates of Hilltop. They turned off their vehicle and got their weapons secure. They got out with their hands in the air. The guards aimed their spears on them in caution. "Who are you?"

Sasha answered. "We're from Alexandria. We came to speak with whoever's in charge."

"Alexandria? Who's to say you aren't Saviors?"

"What's a Savior?" Abraham asked, annoyed.

"They can't be serious. Who doesn't know about Negan?" "I don't think we should let them in." "They could be spies of Negan."

"No, let them in, but they have to surrender their weapons." Sasha turned to see the intense gaze of Paul Monroe-Rovia. "Good to see you again, Sasha. This couldn't be a better time."

Sasha fought a growl and put her hands down. "Not you."

Paul took their weapons. "It's nice to see you too, Sasha."

Abraham was confused. "You two know each other?"

"Paul Rovia, but my friends call me, Jesus."

Sasha glared. "Tyreese and I were going to get a truck's worth of supplies when this guy runs into Tyreese, lies about roamers, and takes the keys. We tracked him here. They gave us canned corn and toothpaste before sending us back to Alexandria. We've had a don't-get-in-our-way type relationship with Hilltop ever since." Abraham nodded. He'd known about the existence of Hilltop, but he didn't know it was Sasha and Tyreese who discovered it.

"How is Tyreese?" Jesus was alive because of Tyreese. Sasha would have killed him many times over without him. "There's actually a lot we need to talk about."

They followed Jesus into Hilltop. Abraham observed the community with amazement. He thought Alexandria was unbelievable. Even though Alexandria was more advance, he couldn't believe that Hilltop was another unbelievably thriving community. There were a plethora of people, happy healthy people. What he gathered from Sasha's conversation with Jesus, there were even more communities. Abraham never imagined there could be anything better than Alexandria. There was, and that was having neighbors. It felt good to see humanity lasting despite the end of the world. When things seemed impossible to get better, they ran into an old friend.

"Gabriel?" Sasha looked at him with confusion before allowing herself to give him a hug.

Gabriel closed his eyes and let himself fall into her embrace. At first he was nervous, but hearing the genuine shock and tenderness in her voice melted his heart. He thought he would never see his family again. He knew this would only last a moment, but he'd take it. "It's so good to see you Sasha, Abraham."

"No kidding. I thought you were dead!" Abraham said bluntly.

Gabriel frowned. "I know. It'd be best for me if you pretended that I am."

"I understand." Sasha said. Michonne told her about the night Rick almost killed Gabriel. She was amazed that Gabriel was able to escape what seems to be an inevitable death. "Michonne tried to find you at the Kingdom."

Gabriel frowned. "I'm sure..." He was there, but something told him he was being followed, so he made his way to Hilltop gambling he could hide better with their size. So far he was right. "How is everyone in Alexandria? How's Carl, Judy, and Chenelle?"

Sasha gave him an uncomfortable smile. She wasn't sure how to answer that. Chenelle was over six months pregnant; and like most people in Alexandria, she assumed it was a result of sexual abuse from Pete Anderson. "Carl and Judy are great. Chenelle is..."

Abraham rubbed his beard. "Chenelle is _full of life_. Yeah, she's very much alive."

Gabriel frowned. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. She's alive and fine. She misses you though."

"I miss her. I thought about sending for her, but I didn't want her to get caught up in this... Is Rick still...?"

"Yes."

"...are they still?" Gabriel couldn't complete the sentence.

Sasha nodded. Rick and Michonne were currently on a mission to Atlanta, but they hadn't split during Gabriel's absence. Gabriel shook his head, but there was nothing he could do. He realized the only person who could stop Rick's intrusion in Michonne's life was Michonne. If she didn't put him out or kill him, then she must have wanted Rick there. "Things are different here. It seems nice, but we have one big problem. You two should probably cover your tracks and leave." Gabriel smiled at Sasha. His voice cracked from sorrow. "Don't let Michonne or anyone know I'm here. I don't want _them_ to find Alexandria. Hilltop isn't as safe as it seems."

Sasha looked at him leery. Jesus wanted to talk to them and now Gabriel gave them an ominous warning. "What's going on?"

"Have you ever heard of the Saviors?"

* * *

They didn't know that one question would lead them into a world of turmoil. Jesus told them about a group of baddies who were extorting them for half of their supplies. Sasha didn't want to get involved, but surprisingly Abraham did. He saw a better future for his twins, more allies, more land, and a place with a doctor. Since they weren't one of the leaders of the Safe Zone, they decided to discuss the situation with the Monroes at home. Rick was still out so they decided to follow what the Monroes decided what was best. Unbeknownst to them, a group of Saviors followed them from Hilltop.

Reg...

Regina...

Tyreese...

With their spouses dead, the Monroes practically handed Alexandria to the Saviors. Just when they were to give their tribute, the Grady survivors arrived.

Rick watched Deanna as she stared out the window. Douglass wanted to speak to Rick about the Saviors and thought the discussion would snap his sister out of her funk. He was wrong; Deanna didn't even say two words. Rick was truly surprised at the different response of the Monroes. Douglass Monroe wanted vengeance. He wanted the Saviors to pay for what they did to his wife. Watching her die had been hell. She was the most caring person he had known, smart-mouthed, and surprisingly sensual, even in her old age. He built a life with Regina; she'd given everything he'd ever wanted. She had his only son, Spencer. He wasn't even able to look at his boy. It hurt too much. He focused that pain into revenge. He wanted the Saviors gone and knew Rick was the only one who could do that.

His feelings were a huge contrast from his sister, Deanna. Unfortunately for Deanna, her only son was gone. The loss of Aiden, combined with the loss of Reg, led Deanna into a depression. She didn't leave her home, reduced to staring out the window. Occasionally, Aiden's CDs played. Rick didn't like seeing her like that. The life had been sucked from this vivacious woman; she looked decades older and sick. Perhaps he wouldn't have killed Aiden if he'd known her husband was going to die. From what he understood, Reg built the walls. He was a valuable member to Alexandria. Reg's contribution kept Rick's family safe. Reg's death was unnecessary and unfair. Rick was sadden by that loss. Reg wasn't a bad man. Rick was starting to see that Deanna and the Monroes weren't terrible either. For the first time in a long time he felt guilt. So now Rick's motives for destroying an enemy was for more than protecting his immediate family.

With help from Jesus and a sole member of Hilltop, they raided what they knew to be the Savior's compound. They moved in and killed everyone in sight. Then they left blowing it up with an RPG. They returned to Alexandria feeling better about their situation. However they miscalculated. A grey semi truck with a trailer eased towards their gates. It was followed by a barrage of bikers. The guards at the gate estimated fifty newcomers. They didn't look friendly; they weren't. "Knock, knock motherfuckers! Your salvation has arrived." Right on time, the Saviors came to Alexandria asking for their tribute.

"We weren't expecting you. I don't have the clearance to-"

"Well no shit you weren't expecting us. After that little stunt at the compound I'm sure you fuckers returned balls swollen with shit-eating pride. Probably felt like your first nut. But it's not over. Not even motherfucking close. Where's Rick?"

They were surprised they knew their leader's name. "..."

"How about you get him for me?"

**Meanwhile...**

Rick was at the Anderson house. If Michonne knew this he would be on the couch. Rick didn't understand it, but she grew territorial when he was around Jessie Anderson. In addition to that, he was going to look at dogs. Even though was very aware that Michonne didn't want a canine in their home he was still curious about their training. Since they had a psychiatrist, Rick contemplated suggesting Michonne get sessions. He wanted her to get rid of her cynophobia. He wanted every method to protect her home and wanted a dog to protect his daughter the way Smythe protected Chenelle. Jessie and Chenelle were showing him some of the tricks they learned. They were still puppies even though they'd grown a lot. In half a year's time, they predicted the puppies would be ready to protect Alexandria.

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK! There was a frantic knock at the Anderson's door. Rick's easygoing visit was over. "Rick! Rick!"

Rick told them to be quiet. He placed his hand over his gun and opened the door. Rick was shocked to see not only one of his people, but a large brunette man standing there. Rick pulled out his gun. He was about to shoot, but found himself surrounded. If he was alone, he would have taken the shot anyway. However he couldn't do too much with Jessie and Chenelle in danger as well.

"Hi, Rick isn't it? I'm Negan, and I do not appreciate you killing my men." Rick just stared at Negan. The fact that several guns were aimed at him didn't faze him. This was the new world. Negan was a built guy and extremely loquacious. Despite the grin on his face, Rick could feel the malice and insanity within Negan. Rick needed to think fast. "Also when I sent men to kill your men for killing my men, you killed more of my men. Not cool, not fucking cool! You got no fucking idea how not fucking cool that shit is, but I imagine you'll be up to speed shortly, yeah. You're going to regret crossing me in a few minutes. Fuck yes, you will."

"Your men attacked mine first. This so called deal you have going on, I didn't approve of it. I don't appreciate you killing Reg, Regina, or Tyreese."

"So what, you want motherfucking lawyers to go over the legitimacy or some shit like that? I'm not sure you realize what's happening right now. You're fucked. Really fucked. Wait a minute... Holy fucking Christ." Negan's eyes widened. "Holy motherfucking Christ! Are those puppies?! Holy shit, give me one of these bitches and we might be even! Wait... Is that girl pregnant?" Their eyes shifted towards Chenelle. She looked around and realized the attention was now on her. She was nervous; her child seemed to sense that and shifted in a way that placed pressure on bladder. She concentrated on not wetting herself or showing fear to the leader of the Saviors. "This is actually the first time I am seeing this in years. Motherfucking puppies! And you're having a fucking baby! Looks like more than just one! You're so goddamn huge! Fucking multiples in there. You have to be ready to fucking pop! That's fucking-" Negan stopped once he noticed tears stream down Chenelle's face. He thought about the things he'd just said. "Oh damn. Look... Holy shit, kid. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... Fuck, you're honestly a baby yourself. I don't know whether to say congratulations or tell you how much you're fucked. How old are you?"

She wiped her eyes. She realized how quiet Smythe had been through this encounter. That told her that Negan was not a man to be played with. She answered his questions. "Almost s-sixteen."

Negan's smile and wonder-filled eyes faded. "That's fucked up. That's really fucking fucked up. What the shit? I came over here fucking floating, about to ask to feel your fucking stomach. I fucked myself into thinking you were older. But now I found out you're in a shitty situation. ...Who fucking did this to you?"

"...what?"

"Who fucked you?!" Negan walked out the Anderson home and yelled at the people of Alexandria. "WHICH ONE OF YOU OLD FUCKS TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THIS FUCKING GIRL?! I BETTER GET SOME FUCKING ANSWERS!"

Rick grew annoyed with the back and forth. "Your issue isn't with her. Leave the girl alone."

Chenelle got between them and turned to Negan. "It was a boy my age, I swear!"

Negan searched her face for the truth. He saw panic, but didn't see deception. "A boy your age? Shit. Well was it consensual?" Chenelle nodded. Negan bent down to meet her eyes. "If the shithead who did this is over 18 fucks old, it's not consensual, at least from where I'm from. I don't like rapist. I really fucking don't."

"It wasn't rape." she whispered.

Negan caught it, but surprisingly didn't push the subject further. "God this situation is so fucked up. You've really got me fucking torn, tiny mother. You have me feeling shit I've never fucking felt before. Like maybe it's time I stop fucking around and have some little fucks. Yeah, I'm going to have a fucking baby too. Or maybe I'll adopt. What do you think? Seems like you and your little fuck could use a good home. Shit, I could raise both of you." Unable to handle the pressure, Chenelle wet herself.

"Jesus fucking Christ, did you piss yourself or is it fucking time?!"

"I-I don't want to go with you."

"Chenelle go to your room." Rick glared at Negan. "Now!"

Negan frowned. "Something like that would have never happened with me, Rick Grimes."

"I've already handled it. The same way, I'll eventually handle you."

"What motherfucking balls! I just can't kill you yet. Maybe. Nah, I can't... That would make you a martyr. Now let's look at your supplies." Rick didn't move at first. "Did I fucking stutter? Max, go get that pregnant girl and have her take us."

Rick begrudgingly walked toward their reserves. He was glad he had Tara working there without Olivia. Tara would know how to show them the food without showing them their weapons cabinet. They walked through the city, Carl saw what was going on and followed them. He was carrying his firearm as always. Rick wondered where Judith and Michonne were. If he was lucky, they were home and away from their confrontation. Glenn was at the pantry with Tara. She looked in Rick's eyes. He wordlessly told her to stay calm and go with it. They were off guard today. He'd give them the food tribute, but they would be prepared for their next encounter.

"Well if you'd look at that. You guys were living the motherfucking life behind these walls. I might make this my summer home. I should take two thirds of this, but I'm a man of my fucking word. Alright boys let's pack up half." Rick and the Alexandrians watched resentfully as their supplies were raided and pillaged. Negan watched, ignoring the Rick's glare and looking at the scenery of Alexandria. He was serious about Alexandria's potential for being his home.

"What's in here?"

Tara walked in front of him. "Are you kidding?! You already took our food, you're going to take our seeds too?!"

"Seeds?"

"Seeds." Tara affirmed. She would take that lie to her grave. The savior looked confused. "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!"

"Move bitch!"

"No. Let go." Tara held her stance. Seeing his hand head towards the door, Tara took out her knife and stabbed him in the neck.

"What the-"

Not missing a beat, Glenn shot the next Savior and covered Tara. Carl shot a Savior who was holding a box of canned goods. Rick joined in their bloodbath, but it was short lived. They ran out of bullets. Rick felt a blow from the back of his head. He, Carl, Glenn, and Tara were lined in front of the pantry. "Now you've done it," a Savior taunted.

"It's fucking over now," said another.

Negan shook his head. "It didn't have to be this way. I don't want to kill any of you... Let me make that clear from the get-go. I want you working for me, and you can't very well do that when you're fucking dead, now can you? I'm not growing a garden." A few Saviors snickered. "But you killed my men... a fucking whole goddamn lot of them. More than I feel comfortable with. For that... You got to pay." Negan placed his bat in front of them. The four of them didn't flinch. "So I'm now going to beat the holy fuck, fucking fuckedy fuck out of one of you with my bat. Who I call _Lucille_. Lucille has **barbed wire** wrapped around the end of her. It's fucking awesome. So it's really the matter of just picking which one of you gets the honor." They stayed stoic as Negan began singing Eeny-meeny-miny-moe. The it was Glenn.

"Wait!"

"Don't do it!"

"You don't have to do this!"

Negan was too amused. "Are you fucker's serious? What an interesting day this is!" WHACK! Tara screamed. Rick and Carl were in disbelief. Glenn's head was caved it. They wondered if it was as bad is it locked. Despite the blow, Glenn stood up. He called for his wife, his sole reason for living. "Look at him taking it like a fucking champ." WHACK! Glenn's eye popped out of its socket. Blood poured from the wound. He was spitting blood. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Rick turned away. Tears dropped from his eyes. This was his fault. He should have planned for this. He should have taken Glenn's place! After everything they'd gone through, it shouldn't have been this way. If it wasn't for Glenn he would have never found his family, both times. This couldn't be real. Rick actually prayed for this not to be real. Carl's eyes were closed; he refused to open them. He swallowed his tears. He turned it into rage. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! The beatings finally stopped. Rick turned to Tara first. He should have known from her distraught look not to look, but he did. Glenn was gone.

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" Rick lunged at Negan, but was kicked to the ground.

"Please don't think of me as racist or ableist since he only had one arm. It was really all chance. I can tell he meant a whole lot to you." Negan gave Rick a smile. Rick gritted his teeth. Glenn was his family. This was it. Negan, the Saviors, they were gone! Rick's mind went to one track, one goal. They would pay. Negan was impressed with the fire in Rick's eyes. He knew he was going to snuff it out. "So let me give you something to remember him by." Negan whistled. Several men pinned Rick down on the ground. Rick struggled, landing a few blows, but it didn't change anything.

"Rick!" Tara was horrified. This couldn't be happening. This was one of the worst days of her life.

Carl didn't get up. He already knew what he was going to do. He would get his riffle and stow away on a that truck. He was going to kill everyone in sight, especially Negan. A Savior with half his face burned stepped on Rick's right hand. Negan took Rick's machete and gripped the handle. In one strong motion, he severed half Rick's wrist. It hit bone; it was a worse feeling that being shot. Rick almost blacked out, but used all his energy promising death to them all. Negan frowned. He hadn't paid attention to anything Rick said. "I thought it'd only take one hit. I don't see how you deal with this thing. Negan tried it again and with two attempts, the hand was no longer attached. "Get him to the infirmary before he bleeds out." He noticed Glenn's headless body. "Somebody clean up this shit before a fucking kid sees."

"I will kill you," Rick sweared again.

"Ha! You can't even jerk off properly, how will you kill me? You're one tough son of a bitch, I'll give you that. How are you still conscious? That serial killer of yours is pretty damn interesting too. Hey kid, I just crippled your dad, you can't shed one tear? Let me make sure you make it to a fucking doctor. I can't help, but feel somewhat responsible."

"Fuck. you..." Rick passed out.

* * *

About an hour later, the Saviors took the supplies and left. By some strand of twisted luck, they left without discovering the armory. Michonne was with Judith until she received a visit from her least favorite Alexandrian. She unlocked the door and waited for Tara to come in. Judith was holding one hand. Her katanna was in the other. Tara had tears streaming down her face. "Michonne..."

She looked around. "Where's Rick?"

"Michonne..."

"Where's RICK?!"

"Infirmary, he's alive, but-" Michonne didn't waste time. She picked up Judith and went to see the new doctors. Many thoughts ran through her mind. How hurt was he? Was he dying? Was he shot? Had they beat him? Would he survive? Her mind created the worst scenarios. Her heart raced in fear. She knocked on the doctors' door and set Judith down.

"Da-dee hurt?"

"Yes."

"What wrong with da-dee?"

Michonne knelt down and kissed her forehead. "The doctors will make him all better. Okay?"

"He can have some of my med-dee-sin to get bedder."

Michonne gave Judith a small smile. "You're such a good girl, Judy." One of the survivors of Grady Hospital opened the door. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry? What's that supposed to mean?" Michonne grew afraid, she pulled Judith close to her.

"Oww, MeSown, that hurt."

Michonne loosened her grip on Judith's hand. "I'm sorry baby." She turned her attention to the nurse. "What are you saying?"

"We couldn't reattach the hand. But we did get the blood to stop. He's resting. He'll have to stay here a few nights so we can watch him, but he'll survive."

Michonne didn't care about the missing limb. She'd seen Hershel, Glenn, and others get by without them. Rick would be no different. She needed to see him. "Can I see him?"

"Sure, I'll watch Judith."

Michonne walked down the hall. Although it wasn't that far it seemed like an eternity. She should have been there. Michonne hated herself at this moment. She felt as if this wouldn't have happened if she had been by his side. What if she had lost him? Michonne walked into Rick's room. She was found it hard to breathe; the anxiety was terrible. She looked at him; minus his right hand, he was in one piece. Rick looked troubled in his sleep, but his chest was rising and falling. She released her breath in relief. She touched Rick's curls. "I'm sorry I'm such a bitch. I don't mean to be, it's just... it's just the way I am. Truth is, your strength, how you carried on after losing us is what attracted me to you. You were a broken man with every reason to give up, but you don't. You pressed on. I knew I had a thing for you the moment you opened the door. But I can't just be _nice_. I can't just express how I feel." She closed her eyes. "And you haven't made it easy on me. How am I supposed to love you when you forced my hand. You gave me no other option. So how do I know that I'm really feeling genuine feelings for you?" Rick didn't stir. Michonne held his hand. "I'm still with you."

Michonne kissed his lips and waited for him to wake.

**(A/N) I really want to do a spinoff with Abraham and Sasha, but I don't write him well enough. I'm sorry for how long this is taking. There will be 15 chapters and an epilogue. It's almost over. I just hope I can update better. I don't do it on purpose, I'm just exhausted.** **One another tangent, shot out to AMC Father Gabriel! I ALWAYS knew he had it in him. When everyone thought I was crazy, I knew! When everyone thought he would always be a punk, I KNEW! YAY! YAY! FUCKING YES!**

_**Next Chapter: Where's Carl?** _


	13. Carl, JSS

Negan had called him a serial killer. Carl leaned back on some of the supplies he'd sneaked in with. Negan was about to see just how murderous Carl truly was. Carl knew that the chances of him surviving this were very slim; he also knew that he didn't care. For years Alexandria had been the place he'd called home. When he first arrived, it was hard to believe that it was real. They acted as if the apocalypse wasn't happening. The way they behaved -before Michonne and company got there- was unreal. Nobody guarded the walls, people didn't carry weapons; they didn't even ration the food. They were so naive about the dangers outside their walls. After a few walkers crept in, it was just the scare they needed. His family went to work, but unfortunately two people died. As bad as it have been, the undead were not the biggest threat to Alexandria.

_"Do you remember what I told you back at that church?" Carl's eyes were still wide from surprise. He nodded yes. "It's true more now than ever. You are not safe."_

Of course he thought of his father's words. He'd become a true Alexandrian: caught off guard, unprepared for the true danger. Carl wished that he'd prepped Alexandria more for human threats. He thought about the Governor, the Termites, and the Claimers. He knew the threat was human. After all he'd done to help Alexandria: teaching the children how to survive, patrolling the walls, planting and harvesting food, what did it amount to? Years had gone. Minus the temporary coup by his father, this was Alexandria's first legitimate human threat. It was unfair that it was the Saviors. Not even Carl and Michonne had faced a group so impossible. Apparently, neither had Rick. To see his father brought down like that, something broke. The luck Alexandria had officially ran out.

Even the prison didn't feel like Alexandria did. Carl wasn't even sure if he could say if Alexandria mirrored the feeling of community before the turn. He had been too young to observe or critically think about such things before the apocalypse. Any love he had for Georgia faded away years ago. There were good memories though. After all, Georgia was where he and his sister were born. He thought of his mother, Lori. He would always regret how he treated her. He missed her so much. There was so much he'd wished he said to her before she died. He wondered if she knew how much he loved her. He remembered how sad his mother was before her death; he didn't make it any easier with his attitude and disrespect. Why couldn't he think of something to say before she passed? She did. Lori made sure to let him know she loved him before she died.

_"Carl, baby I don't want you to be scared okay? This is what I want. This is right. Now, you take care of your daddy for me okay? And your little brother or sister, you take care of them. You're gonna be fine. You are gonna beat this world, I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong and you are SO brave. And I love you. You gotta do what's right. Promise me you'll always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world, so if it feels wrong, don't do it, if it feels easy don't do it, don't let the world spoil you. You are so good my sweet, sweet boy. The best thing I ever did. I love you, I love you my sweet boy. I love you. Goodnight love."_

Carl was not having second thoughts about his choice to stow away; he'd been behind walls long enough. He just hoped he didn't fail her. It wasn't lost on Carl that Michonne came into their lives right after they'd lost Lori. Did his mother guide her there? Carl would like to think so. If there was an afterlife, he'd ask her.

Thinking about fallen members, he thought about his first crush Beth. She was an angel in his eyes. She was so pretty and talented. She took good care of Judith when he and his father couldn't. Plus, she sang beautifully. It hurt to find out she'd died. Maybe this was why his love of Georgia faded. Carl remembered wearing his father's sheriff's hat; he even remembered being excited to tell his friends that his father was a cop. However, it wasn't until this moment that he fully understood what his father used to do and still did.

Carl's mind continued to wander. The headquarters was many miles away. He started feel sad; his death would hurt so many people. Michonne was going to be mad and hurt. They were very close. He noticed that once he got a little older he stopped telling her a lot of things. If he had the chance he'd tell her it was because she evolved from being his friend. He would also tell her that he knew she loved him very much and knew she would always be there for him. She definitely had always been there for him. She saved him countless times. He could only remember helping her once. Carl thought of his sister. Judith was going to be sad. He really wanted to see her grow up. She looked a lot like their mother, especially when her hair was dark. She was so smart. He wondered what type of woman she'd be. A mini-Michonne? A female Rick? Maybe she'd be a gun-wielding, comic book nerd like him. Seizing this moment probably meant he wouldn't be there to watch over her and find out. Carl felt a lot of confusion about his father. They'd just reunited. He wished they'd spent more time together; Carl wished he told his father that he was a hero and saved many lives. Carl should have told him he looked up to him and was glad he was back. He knew that if he died, his father would do the impossible. Rick always found a way. Carl felt like an asshole. Unlike his mother he didn't leave with parting words. Even if he wasn't as eloquent, he wanted them to know that if he died, it would be to save them. He wanted them to know he did this because he was a product of them.

Carl thought about his time in Alexandria. What wasted opportunity! Carl had worked too much; he missed so much time to be with his family. He could have been a better son; he could have been a better friend. He was particularly a shitty friend to Ron. When he arrived Ron had introduced him to the other teenagers; he helped him adjust. Carl betrayed his kindness. Like Michonne, Carl also knew that Pete Anderson was abusive to his wife and kids, but they had done nothing. He felt bad, but his family came first. Carl thought about killing Pete many times after the late drunk performed Michonne's surgery, but Judith consistently grew sick so he didn't. Carl realized moments like that was made his dad a great leader. Rick made the right choice, not the easy one. Now they had two doctors and many nurses in Alexandria.

Carl also betrayed Ron through Enid. He had strong feelings for Enid. In many ways, Carl had acted on those feelings. There was an inexplicable pull toward her; he couldn't control it. Maybe it was because she survived despite the odds. More impressively, she survived without her parents' protection; that awed him. As strong as he was, Carl knew he needed the group to survive. Unlike many of the other Alexandrian, she knew what it was like outside the walls. He loved hanging out with her. They did so often. They'd get similar shifts, visit each other's homes, or see each other outside the walls. She was his first kiss, something she regretted because of her boyfriend. He didn't. If he was honest with himself, they would have been much more. Perhaps they could have been together. He felt more for her than any other Alexandrian teen. Sometimes he thought Enid felt the same, but then she'd become cold or run back to Ron. It was interesting that he liked her so much. She was so different from his first love, Beth Greene. The same regret of not saying his goodbyes to his family, he felt towards her. If he had told her what he was planning, she'd tell him that he was stupid. Then she would say just survive somehow.

Despite Mikey's immaturity, Carl would miss him; Mikey was a funny guy. He would miss others like Anna, Combs, and Hunter. He would also miss Chenelle. Sometimes she reminded him of an anime character, one of those shy pretty girls that were secretly strong. After separating from the group in Gabriel's hometown, she was the only teenager around for a while. Although he tried to deny it, he did toss her aside. Maybe that's why he didn't notice the problems she was having. Now he kept thinking about the times Chenelle would go to Dr. Anderson's house, sometimes at ungodly hours. Then there was the moment Pete almost slapped her at Douglass and Deanna's birthday party. Since she was now living with Jessie, Ron, and Sam, he assumed her unborn child was a result of sexual abuse from Dr. Anderson. He wondered if rape was always rampant. Sometimes he still had flashbacks of his own sexual assault. It was another reason he worked so much; when he was busy, his mind had less time to go dark places. At first, Carl thought Chenelle's baby was his, but then he dismissed it because he used a condom. His first time lasted all of four minutes. They were so embarrassed they didn't even look at the condom when he took it off. Sex felt really good; better than when he was left to his own devices. It was a messed up thing to do knowing he didn't like her the way she liked him. Maybe it was that selfishness that made him miss what seemingly happened. His last regret was that Chenelle's baby was apparently not his. It would have been nice for his parent to have a piece of him when he was gone.

The truck came to its final stop. Carl had been so deep in thought that the jerks, bumps, and yields had been nothing. Carl ducked behind a couple of comforters. He aimed his weapon and debated praying. What would he pray for? Precision? Body count? A quick death and to not be tortured? Carl took a deep breath. His hearing and vision multiplied. There were so many voices. After some talking and laughing, the trailer's door opened. Carl noticed two men climb in to unload the supplies. They were unarmed. They moved a couple of boxes out before getting closer to Carl. Carl didn't need them to be close. His rifle would tear them apart even from afar. He wanted to wait until more Saviors climbed into the trailer.

"You think we'll get one of these "

One of the Saviors spotted Carl. "What the-"

Carl pulled the trigger before he could finish that sentence. The bullets ripped through the men so badly their intestines burst out. Carl got toward the end of the trailer. To his surprised nobody was firing on him. He realized most of their ammo was used raiding Alexandria. Hope soared for Carl, maybe he would be able to go home. He was the one with the semi automatic rifle. The dangerous end was pointing at them.

"What the fucking fuck?!" Negan screamed.

Carl looked around, he heard his voice, but couldn't located him. "I only want Negan. He hurt my dad. Turn him over to me and I'll let the rest of you live. I've seen the weapons you use, I know you don't have a lot of guns. No one else has to die."

"Fuck you kid!" "Just wait, little faggot!" "You're gonna die today!"

"God damn you're adorable. Revenge for daddy? I can respect that. Did you pick that gun because it looks cool? You totally did, didn't y-" Carl glared and shot in the direction of Negan's voice. Saviors ducked and ran for cover. Three Saviors were mowed down. Negan was almost a casualty. This impressed him. "Kid, I'm not going to lie to you," Negan made sure he had cover. "You scare the fucking shit out of me." Carl resumed shooting, killing a few other Saviors in the process. Carl wanted to end this. If he could get Negan, this could end.

A raspy growl echoed through the trailer. One of the Saviors from the first strike, had turned into a walker. Carl wanted to ignore it, but he could hear it edging toward him. "Shit!" Carl cursed. He had to turn and finish the bodies in the trailer. He hadn't turned for more than a few seconds, but strong hands threw him to the ground. Carl fired the weapon killing a few people who'd come to attack him, but he lost his grip on his weapon. The response was instant. He was kicked in the back. "You little fuck!" He was repeatedly kicked in the stomach and side. "I'm going to kill you!"

"Dwight! Back the fuck off!" Carl tried to catch his breath. It hurt to breathe. He reached for his gun, but it was taken and now pointing at him. The Savior backed up and Negan appeared. Carl turned to face the man and fell on his back. Negan stood over Carl with an eerily calm expression. The hair on Carl's body stood sharply. After all of this, for Negan to be so calm and easy was incredibly terrifying. "Is that any way to treat our new guest?"

* * *

The following week had been emotional for Rick Grimes. He had never been more angry or homicidal. Most of all he'd never been more scared. After Negan robbed them of their supplies and killed Glenn, he'd been unconscious for a couple of days. The moment he woke up, he somewhat wished he hadn't. What he'd hoped was a nightmare was real. He was facing an impossible enemy who crippled him in more ways than one. For two days he felt excruciating pain from that spot. Now, it felt like his right hand was itching. It made no sense to him because it was no longer there. The Grady nurses told him he'd feel phantom pains and feelings from time to time. It was annoying having an itch he couldn't scratch, but it was just a garnish to the anguish he was feeling. Those bastards had invaded his home. They'd killed his people, took supplies, and destroyed everyone's peace of mind. They'd threatened everything they'd worked for! Worst of all was Carl was missing.

"It's my fault. I should have known he'd go after them." Michonne said. She was still pissed she wasn't there. She was making dinner with Judith when it all happened. She knew something was wrong, but she didn't want to leave Judith unattended. She wished she had told Judith to hide and went to help. She would have stopped Carl from following the Saviors and hopefully had prevented Glenn's death. It may have sounded far-fetched, but together the group had made miracles happen before. She should have been there.

Rick shook his head. "No, I shouldn't have underestimated them. I'm responsible."

"It's not just you." Michonne wanted to hit something. "I should have protected him. I've always-"

"I didn't want you out there. I don't know what I would have done if it was you... I have to see Maggie."

Michonne shook her head. "I know you want to, but I want you to have a full recovery. No infection, no damage."

"She's family."

"She's not injured."

Before today Rick would have said he would have given anything for Michonne to treat him with this much concern. She hadn't left his side since he was admitted. Rick leaned back on the bed. The consequences of his actions seemed to weigh him down. He turned to Michonne. "I've been screwing thangs up since I've arrived."

"..."

"Maybe I should have just gone with the flow. Everyone seemed happier before I arrived. Judith is always split between loving me or being afraid. Carl thought I was too weak to protect y'all and took matters into his own hands. I don't think I've ever been fair to you."

"That's enough. This was not on you. Judith loves you; and you have many years to build the relationship you want with her. She's still a little girl. Carl doesn't think you're weak. He's just your son. That reckless streak, that's all you."

"Yeah..." Rick noticed she didn't say anything to counter his statement about being unfair to her. "I should have never come back. Everyone would have been happier. Carl would have still been here."

"Are you going to continue pitying yourself? Because I'm neither going to listen to it nor tell you that everything you did was perfect. Did you mess up when you fought Gabriel in front of Judith? Yes. But like I told you, she's still so little. That won't be the defining moment of you two's relationship. I think she's more likely going to remember you reading to her at night, you listening when she tells you about school, and definitely when you take her outside these walls to teach her how to survive. Did you screw up when you killed Dr. Anderson? Yes. I cannot stress how much of a fuck up that was. He was the only doctor and we have a sickly child. Accidents happen. And babies are being born. However you fixed it; we have a medical team now. We even have more equipment. Even after the Saviors took some of our medicines we're still better off now than before Dr. Anderson. You shouldn't have killed Aiden. You shouldn't have done whatever you did to Gabriel. And yes, you've done messed up things to me. But the story doesn't end here. This isn't the end."

Rick looked at the bandage on his right wrist. He wouldn't be able to overpower the Saviors. They had unknown numbers and until he got used to his left hand, he was dramatically weakened. He would have to think this through. He touched Michonne with his left hand. His wedding ring hand been long gone. He would replace it one day. Maybe when Carl got back they could make it official. Michonne would always be by his side. This ordeal proved it.

"One day, I'm going to be the rock for you like you are for me. I will be better for you and I'll be better to you. But as for now, I need to stay little fucked up." His eyes grew dark. "I'm going to kill them all, more people than I ever have before. It's going to be a bloodbath."

Michonne nodded. She accepted that war was coming. "Let's do this."

**The Next Day...**

Rick was amazed at how many well wishers came to his door. It was almost the entire community of Alexandria. It honestly confused Rick. He hadn't been friendly to them; that a was beyond apparent. He hadn't even been nice to his former crew. He only knew a few names of the Alexandrians, but they came with goodies, prayers, and sympathy. Most told him stories about Carl's strength or updated him on the community since he'd been hospitalized. A few told him that they knew he would find a solution. Only two lashed out; Michonne dealt with it.

"I never thought I would want to fight for this place for the sake of anybody, but my family." Rick picked up some of the wild flowers he'd been brought. He wondered how he could fashion them into a crown for Judith. "I've been here for almost a year and I only know a few people by name. Heath, he goes out for runs. Olivia who helps run commissary with Tara. Jessie, Ron, Chenelle, and Sam Anderson. The Monroes and Aaron. That's not even a tenth of people here."

"At least you don't want them dead anymore."

"I, I feel guilty about that."

"We'll make it up to them. Once we free this place we'll have a party and get to know everyone. I used to shut myself off to new people too."

"...I didn't notice," Rick said sarcastically.

Michonne looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying, you only said fifty words max at the prison."

Michonne took one of the cookies out of Rick's baskets and nibbled on it. "You didn't make the best first impression."

"I think my second impression needed some work too."

"Maybe a little." Michonne smiled. It was nice talking to Rick like this. She was truly enjoying it until she realized Carl's lack of interference wasn't because he was at work. Her mouth became suddenly dry. It was hard to finish eating.

Rick walked to Michonne and held her. "Daryl went to find him."

Michonne didn't answer. She just nodded her head. "I don't want to lose another son."

"I promised you'd never feel that pain again, no matter what."

"You can't control everything."

"..."

"Yolanda said the only reason she hasn't killed herself is because of her twin boys. She lost Noah and Tyreese. I know I have to be the same way for Judith, but- I don't think I can do this again. I can't. I know it's selfish because compared to others we've been so blessed."

"I'm not good with word like you are. I don't know how to make you feel better."

Michonne remembered the speech he made when he created the prison. "You're not as bad as you think."

There was a knock at the door. The couple turned to see one of the Grady members, Dr. Russells. "It seems like I might be the last one remaining in Alexandria to come for a visit." He gave them a comforting smile. "Michonne, Rick, how are you?"

"Depends is this a friendly or business call for you?"

The psychiatrist wanted to say they were definitely matched well. Even though Michonne wouldn't admit it, she was just as guarded as Rick. They each came to him hoping to discuss the well-being of their partner, but totally dismissed the idea of going for themselves. He stayed by the door. "It's friendly. Although it would be wise to give a psychological evaluation. You've been through a major trauma. But I will never force counseling on anyone."

Rick sneered, "You would probably want us to _turn the other cheek_."

Dr. Russells scoffed. "Hell no! The Saviors must die and we will kill them. I have a son to think about. As do you. That advice is unrealistic." Dr. Russells decided to cut the visit short. He wondered if their hostility to his appearance was the first step in accepting that they may need mental health care. He let them be. He had clients that needed to be seen today. He noticed one of them enter. It was Chenelle. She looked a little sad, it surprised him because this was her favorite place in Alexandria. She was holding a couple of jars. "Good morning, Chenelle."

"Good morning, doctor. Are you here to see a patient?"

"No, I was stopping to check on Rick and Michonne."

She nodded. "Me too." She looked at her jars. "It's tomato sauce and paste. I actually helped grow these." Eventually her pregnancy made her stick to one job, training the puppies.

"It looks delicious."

Chenelle smiled. "Thank you. I'll ask Mrs. Anderson, but you and Danny can come over for spaghetti one day."

"That sounds lovely. Would you like to talk?"

"It's just more of the same. ...You haven't seen that guy, Negan. He's a monster! I, I don't think Carl's going to be okay."

"..."

"Maybe if I had told him about his son, he wouldn't have been so reckless." Chenelle tried not to cry. "I always thought my baby was a gift to me so I could see my family again, but what if he's a consolation prize to the Grimes because Carl's not coming back?"

* * *

It was Rick's last day in the hospital. He felt like he should have been home days ago. Being there was making him frustrated. He kept trying to do things with the right hand that was no longer there. He also had no idea how to do things with just his left. He didn't know how Glenn did it. Glenn had adapted almost instantaneously. He also remembered Hershel. Hershel was a force of nature after his physical therapy. They'd set the bar so high. Rick felt like his incompetence killed them. If he had dealt with the governor, Hershel would have still been alive. If Rick had planned for Negan, Glenn would have been there. Rick didn't understand all these emotions overwhelming him. He thought they were long gone. He wished that his emotions were gone.

Michonne wasn't there to comfort him this time. She was with Judith preparing their home. Rick needed her advice; he could even due with her presence. She'd always kept the bad thoughts away. He could think straight with Michonne. Rick started pacing his room. He'd have to become quicker. He had to strengthen the limbs that weren't affected. Rick noticed he'd gotten a little fatter since being in Alexandria. No more, Rick would make sure he stayed in top physical condition. Perhaps he'd ask Michonne to help him. Rick went to his gifts. He noticed a basket of freshly baked bread. Rick reached for it, with his right hand. He stared at the nub. He thought about the events before and after its removal. He thought about Carl. Unable to handle the rage, he picked up some of his gifts and shattered them against the wall.

"Umm, Mr. Grimes?"

Rick turned to see Chenelle standing at the doorway. She had jars in her hands. "What?" He was short with her. She didn't do anything to him, but he couldn't help that he was mad. Chenelle didn't say anything. Instead she just told a nurse the crash was nothing and closed his door. She walked over to glass he broke and silently swept it. She knew it was in there because he was having accidents. Rick felt bad when he saw her bend down to pick up the dustpan. She looked like she would topple over; her balance was strained from her growing belly. She went to the basket. "You don't have to-"

Chenelle picked up the bread and put it in the basket. She simply placed the basket back where it was supposed to be. She knew he wouldn't waste it because it fell on the floor. They'd both eaten worse things outside the walls. Chenelle gently rubbed her stomach. She gathered up her nerves and looked at Rick. "I haven't thanked you for what you did. Without you he probably would have taken me and the puppies. People like that, they take whatever and whoever. You made sure we weren't one of those things."

"You don't have to thank me for that."

"I want to. ...I've hated you for a really long time, Mr. Grimes. I still don't know if I can let myself forgive you for what you did to Gabriel, but I hope we can become allies."

Rick didn't know what to say. Should he tell her that Gabriel was alive? He didn't know that as a fact. He just knew he didn't kill him. Should he tell her he was sorry? He didn't think he could do that either. He still wasn't sorry for what he did to Gabriel, only that that action affected so many people around him. "Alright. ...I never meant for my actions to hurt you."

"I realize that now." Rick noticed she was talking with so much clarity. It was very different from the times she was hyperactive, manic, or upset. He wondered what could have changed this, but he realized he already knew. She was a patient of Dr. Russells. Maybe he could do the same for him. Perhaps he actually would make an appointment. He hadn't felt like himself in a really long time. "Would you mind if I have some of your bread?"

"Sure, have some."

Chenelle broke off a piece and grabbed one of her jars of tomato sauce. She smiled. "Don't worry it's not poison." Her smile grew awkward. "Considering our past, that may not have been the best joke to make."

"What did you say?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Grimes, I promise it was a joke. See." She dipped her bread in each jar and ate from it. "It's not poisoned. I would never hurt my baby."

Rick's mind started racing. Chenelle threatened him many months ago. So long, he hadn't put much thought in it. Now she came to him when he was vulnerable and unsuspecting. He knew the jars were just tomato sauce, but had they'd been poisoned, this was a good moment to strike. There was literally no other way Chenelle could kill him. He was more skilled, had more allies, more weapons, tactically smarter, had fewer weaknesses, and she was vulnerable. He smiled. Chenelle was confused. "Do you still have Dr. Anderson's medical books?"

"Jessie does. Mr. Grimes, I'm sorry about the-"

"No don't worry about that. You've actually helped me a lot."

She realized what he meant. As if feeding off his excitement, her son kicked. She rested her hands on her stomach. "How are you going to poison Negan. This isn't going to be simple. And no offense, but this is going to take time, planning, patience, and you aren't a patient man. You can't do this alone. Alexandria can't do this alone either. I don't think this is a good idea."

Rick kept thinking about it. It was a good idea. If they could ally themselves with with Hilltop, The Kingdom, and any other community the Saviors have terrorized they could do it. They would wait months until the Saviors thought they were compliant. Then they would poison the entire food supply. That would give them time to find the Savior's bases. They could wipe out the Saviors who survived their sneak attack. Rick placed his hand on Chenelle's shoulder. He hoped she heeded his words. He'd hate to kill her. "Chenelle you need to keep this a secret. Don't say anything about this to anyone."

"I won't." She wouldn't tell. She wasn't stupid. "I can keep a secret." That was obvious. His grandson was less than couple months away from being born and only she and Dr. Russells knew it.

**(A/N) Even though Carl doesn't know it, the baby is his. Remember this is a darkfic, maybe his kid is consolation prize and Carl isn't coming back. I honestly don't even know yet. Somebody reviewed once and asked if their was a reason Chenelle was being portrayed the way she was. Yes, to prove Gabriel would be missed, Dr. Anderson would be missed, and most importantly, that Dr. Russells, a man Rick would need to become sane, could do it. If he helped Chenelle maybe he can help Rick and Michonne.**

**Remember to review!**

_**Next Chapter: Negan delivers Carl to Alexandria, hands bound, and face covered in a sack.** _


	14. Moms

Rick and Michonne were prepared for this moment. It had been a month; but right on schedule, the Saviors came with their troop of motorbikes and the semi. The gate of Alexandria opened without any hesitation. Rick was glad he wasn't facing this moment alone. Maggie stood to the left of Rick. Her eyes burned with hatred. She never got to see the man who killed her husband. If it wasn't for Rick's plan she might have become Carl 2.0 and followed them back to base with a riffle. Her hate was so strong she was willing to wait. It would take a lot of self control, but she would get all her aggression out on Negan's corpse. Since walkers kept charging until the headshot, Maggie knew she could torture it for days, maybe weeks until it wither became useless or she felt better. She'd do everything in her power to make sure that Negan and the Saviors died. Tara was by Maggie's side. She also knew what they were about to do. She hoped she had the strength to play along. Tara just wanted this over with. She liked Alexandria. It made her feel safe. She didn't appreciate the Saviors taking that feeling away from her.

For the past week they'd made preparations for the Saviors' tribute. They removed all, but ten bullets from all the guns. There weren't that many to begin with. This process inspired Eugene to an idea. He didn't say what it was yet, but he assured Rick that if all went well many of their problems would be over. Once they emptied their guns, they stashed half of them stealthily throughout the neighborhood. The Saviors wouldn't find them unless they searched thoroughly. Even if they found them, they'd be empty. They also stashed rations throughout their homes. They didn't know how much the Saviors would take so they trusted the Alexandrians to hide a week's worth of food for themselves just in case. If this proved successful it would determine how they would operate when they finally did go with their plan to kill Negan and the Saviors.

As soon as Negan appeared there was a collective tensing. Rick thought he'd thrown away any notion of religion, but he was slightly convinced that Negan was the devil; the Saviors were his demons. He had to send them to hell. These weren't men. They were no longer people. Rick hoped they didn't do anything to his son. He didn't know what he'd do if Carl was dead.

"There you are, Rick Grimes. What a fucking welcome party!" His attention turned to Rick's companions. "Who are these lovely women? Your wives? Good for you! They're all so fucking hot!" Negan had a weakness for beautiful women. Tara, Maggie, and Michonne definitely met that criteria. Tara avoided his gaze, Maggie's intent was obvious in her glare. Michonne was unreadable; he had no idea what was on her mind. This intrigued Negan. He stared at Michonne. She stared back; she didn't look intimidated, if she was he couldn't tell. Negan walked closer to her. Rick pulled out his gun. He was sick of Negan fucking with his family. Negan stopped in front of her. He was still analyzing her as he said, "Fucking fuck, you have excellent taste in women. Your goddamn tastes aren't too far from mine. We could actually be friends. Not to be a fucking cocksucker, but I have a black wife too. Her name is-"

"Where's Carl?" Michonne asked. This conversation was pointless.

Negan grinned. The Grimes family just continued to get more and more interesting. They were a mystery to him. Carl only told him that Rick was his father and Michonne was his mother. He didn't say anything about Judith or the close companions that'd become his aunts and uncles. Carl was so vague that Negan didn't know which of Rick's female companions was Carl's beloved mother. Negan liked the woman in front of him. Michonne had been one of the most exotic women he'd ever seen. She was a strikingly beautiful woman and apparently fearless since she spoke to him so direct. It was the sword that had him smitten. He debated taking her back to the Sanctuary and making her his. How many people had she cut down with that sword? He'd fantasize about that when he had sex that night. Negan wondered how Rick managed to snag such a woman. She didn't look like someone to fuck with, or someone who'd settle. This said a lot about the kind of man Rick must be.

Negan moved Lucille from one arm to the other. Michonne watched him, but didn't stir. "You're asking me where Carl is? If you don't keep track of your son. And you guys really, really, don't. How the fuck am I supposed to?"

"Where is Carl?" Rick repeated the question. The last thing they needed was parenting advice from Negan.

"Well you fucking asked for it. Go get the boy!" A few Saviors went to the trailer of the semi truck. Rick looked there anxiously. He needed his son back. Negan turned to Rick; his grin was malicious. "I can't fucking wait until you see what I've done with your little boy."

All Rick could see was red. Before Rick could fully realized it, he aimed his Colt at Negan. "Rick no!" Tara jumped on Rick's arm. Rick accidentally fired, but it hit the ground due to the angle. Tara held his arm and whispered in his ear. "Remember the plan. Not yet."

Negan laughed. "There she is! The voice of reason. Carl told me his mother was wise. I'd listen to her."

"Dude can you just not?"

"Looks like all of Rick's women have fucking spunk."

Tara wanted to gag for multiple reasons. The thought of being married and intimate with Rick made her want to vomit; he was like an older brother to her. More than that, she was a lesbian. How could he think she was Michonne? "Wait? You think I'm Michonne?"

"Oh," he turned to Maggie. "Michonne?"

Maggie folded her arms. It took everything she had to stay where she was. "I'm definitely not Michonne."

Negan's confusion was getting awkward. If it wasn't for the murderous bandits pillaging their community it would be sitcom funny. Tara gave Negan an awkward frown. "Umm, Michonne's black."

Negan looked from Maggie to Tara, then Michonne. "I don't see race."

Before anyone could say anything, they noticed noticed their boy bound with a thick sack covering his face. He was struggling. He shuffled toward them eerily. Michonne ran to him and cut his arms free. They only dangled by his side. "Carl?" There were only muffles. Michonne tried to hold her emotions; it was hard to breathe. What did they do to him? Why were his arms so limp? Why wasn't he speaking? Michonne took the sack off his face. She let go of her breath.

Blue eyes focused on her. He called for her. He was bound and gagged, but that was it. There was nothing. Everything was still intact: no bruises, no injuries, no amputations. Carl was alive. Michonne embraced him and let herself cry silently. Her lips quivered in a twisted mixture of hurt and elation. She just held him. Rick also went to Carl. He did his own examination before holding him tight. He noticed Carl was trying to speak. Rick took his gag off. "Carl?"

"I'm so sorry dad. Michonne, I'm so sorry." Carl thought he'd never see them again. He couldn't help his tears. He truly thought he was going to die. Carl promised it'd be different this time. He'd be around more; he wouldn't take life for granted.

"..." Michonne wanted to say something, but could only sob. There was only one time Carl was lost to her, the fall of the prison. Even when that happened, she found him almost immediately. This time he was gone for weeks. There were no clues to his whereabouts; even if they did find the Savior's base it would have been war to get him back. Every day she didn't see him broke her heart. To have him safe, especially knowing the savagery of the Saviors, restored her faith in life. Michonne hadn't lost another child.

Negan watched their interaction. There was so much love between their small family unit. He could hardly believe that their picturesque family was made up of cold, hardened killers. "Can I say something?" Rick looked at him with disgust and predatory malice. This encounter enforced a lot of insecurities he had about the security of his family. Rick had gotten another lucky break and had his family again: his baby was safe at home, his lover was his arms, and so was his son. Nothing was going to ruin this for him. "I don't quite understand the hostility of that look. His arms will probably be fine in a day or two. I'm sure you understand the precautions we had to take after he killed so many of my fucking men." Negan used Lucille to point at Carl. "Your asshole son, who shot many of my guys..., shot them fucking dead, is returned to you safe and sound. For the past month, I've done nothing to harm him. I made sure he was fucking happy, fucking healthy, and let him fucking live long enough to see his own little asshole be born. Has that little shit been born yet? I really want to see that little fucker."

Michonne stopped sobbing. She thought about what Negan was saying. "Jesus Christ." Michonne was going to figuratively kill Carl!

Rick wasn't thinking about that at the moment. As delighted as Rick was about Carl's return. It had to come with a price. Maggie was thinking the same. "What are you planning?"

"Excuse me."

"Stop acting nice. What do you want? What more will you do?!"

"You think I've got all these little communities at my feet because I roam the countryside bashing in Asian-American skulls?" Tara had to tackle her other companion. Maggie screamed and tried to claw her way out of Tara's hold. Tara ignored her friend's strikes and tried to comfort her. Negan watched her reaction with amusement. "Too soon?"

"Yeah, well she was married to the Asian-American you're _graciously_ referring to."

Negan decided that Alexandria was his favorite community. He wondered if this was what it was like taming a wild horse. Getting Maggie to heel would be difficult, definitely more so than Rick. "What's with these cripple motherfuckers pulling the baddest bitches?" His Saviors laughed. "No offense. As I was saying, everyone tows in line because I provide them a service. I keep them safe. We're the Saviors, not the kill-your-friends-so-you-don't-like-us-at-alls. Are we going to kill your friends if you don't cooperate?" He smiled at Maggie. She balled her fists. "Absolutely. I'm pretty sure we've established that. And now I've established that if you do cooperate, as I believe you are, we won't do bad things to your son. Even though he killed a few of my men because he doesn't know any better."

"You brought my son back; it may not seem like it, but I'm grateful. It doesn't make up for what you did to Glenn; we'll never forgive you for that. However we'll cooperate. It's just business. Y'all have to really be providing us with a service though. I won't put my family through this if you're there's nothing to be gained."

Negan nodded. Bringing Carl back had the effect he wanted. He knew it made him look magnanimous. They'd be grateful and resist less. "Okay then, this feels like progress to me, yeah. I can be reasonable."

"So can I," Rick said. Those where just words. There were so many lies being told. Neither Negan nor Rick were reasonable men. This wasn't business, this was strategy. And what service was Negan referring to? Michonne was reminded of what she had told Carl months ago. Always watch action, not words.

Michonne grew concerned about Carl's arms, she didn't understand why they were so limp. As soon as the Saviors left she would take him to their clinic. She wanted to stay by Rick's side while the danger was present. Rick was playing his role well, but she didn't want anything unexpected to happen in her absence. Time seemed to progress slowly. Negan continued to talk, make underhanded shots, and watched them as they watched him. The Saviors eventually finished raiding their community and left. Rick took a deep breath, he kept reminding himself that everything was going according to plan. Nobody died and he even had Daryl out there to see where their next stop was. He didn't dwell on it long because turned his attention to Carl. They prepared for this.

"What happened?" Rick was referring to Carl's arms. He too noticed how lifeless they were. He wanted to know whether or not they disabled him.

Carl spoke on his way to the infirmary. "The last day he had me in this thing. It kind of was like being crucified except nothing happened to my feet."

"What else did they do to you?"

Carl frowned. "That's the weird thing, that was it. The entire month it was like he was trying to get to know me. At first I thought it was to fish information, but it seemed more like gossip and small talk. How do I like the Sanctuary? What's the craziest thing I've seen before Alexandria? Which one of his wives is the hottest? Stuff like that."

"..."

"Their base is a big building, with a lot of space and floors. I don't know how to really describe it. It sort of reminded me of a mixture of the prison and a store, but it was neither of those things. I think it had machinery in it before." Rick decided he would ask Eugene for help to figure out what Carl was trying to describe. "There aren't that many non-Savior people there, like around 40. Those people are kind of like our people. And there seems to be many Saviors scattered around."

Michonne and Rick opened the doors of the infirmary. "We'll continue to talk about this later. It's more important that you get better."

"I wish I had more to tell you. I don't have much to show from getting caught. I don't know where the base is, what it is, or how to beat them."

Michonne touched his hair. She studied his face, still in disbelief that she almost lost him. "Our focus is your health first. We'll talk about this later."

Carl felt guilty. Even after everything he'd done he was still their top priority. Even though he had information about the Saviors, they were still making sure he was mentally and physically okay first. Michonne wasn't a clingy or overly affectionate person. His father was very hardened and would never display weakness in front of an enemy. When they hugged him he knew it was because they were truly relieved he was back. Maybe his parents had things unsaid too. "I'm sorry." And I love you, Carl wanted to say. "I won't do something like that again."

**Later...**

Carl told them all he knew about the Sanctuary, Negan, other prominent Saviors, and Lucille. After talking about the layout, they figured it was an old factory. Rick had Aaron and the Monroes search old maps for the possibility of their location. Rick's group were from Georgia. They needed assistance from a native Virginian. He was impressed with how willing they were to help. Despite their eagerness, Rick felt like it would be best if they didn't know everything he intended to do. Carl didn't know what direction to start because he was in the semi's trailer on the way to the Sanctuary and blindfolded on the way back. Rick didn't focus on that. They'd gained new information and he had his family. Carl would officially be home after an overnight stay in the hospital. His arms were put in slings so they wouldn't be stressed and recover properly. All of Alexandria came to visit, even more than Rick. Judith stayed in bed with Carl most of the stay. She was elated to have him back. Judith couldn't even be bothered to move when all of the teenagers came to visit Carl. Even though all of the teens didn't get along, they came at one time to see him: Mikey, Ron, Sam, Chenelle, Anna, Hunter, Combs, Danny, and Enid. They filled him in on what he missed and urged him to get better. Hunter and Combs said they'd see him at work before leaving. Danny, the psychiatrist's son from Grady, didn't know him well so only left gifts. He only went to get to know the group. Chenelle and Sam stayed silent the whole time. Ron also didn't say much. Carl understood even though it hurt because they were good friends when he first came to Grady. Mikey kept them laughing the entire time. Anna was impressed by his bravery and flirted with him shamelessly. Enid punched him in the stomach and called him an idiot before leaving with the Andersons. Chenelle followed behind.

"Hey, Chenelle. Can you stay for a second?"

Chenelle looked at the Andersons for an answer. Sam avoided her eyes. Ron held Enid's hand and continued walking without her. She swallowed and sat back down. "Okay."

Judith looked at Chenelle and smiled. She knew from Rosita and a couple other women what was happening with Chenelle. She started singing. "Baby, baby, waaaaaaahhhhhhhh waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, baby!"

"How are you doing?" Carl asked.

"I'm the one who should be asking you that." Chenelle replied quietly. Her vision was blurry from tears. "I'm really happy you're back."

"Me too." Carl grunted as he sat up more.

Judith clutched onto her brother and looked at him. She was very concerned. "You okay, Cawl?"

"I'm fine, Judy."

"Okay..." She put her head on his chest and continued being with him. From Judith's perspective it was their first separation. Judith never remembered a moment away from Carl until then. She didn't like it. Carl wished he could rub her hair and console her. He noticed Chenelle looking at them. He could see there was a lot she was thinking about. Carl knew she was analyzing him and with young children. After an awkward silence, Judith peeked at Chenelle and filled it in with more baby sounds. "Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Ma-ma-ma! Da-da-da! I'm a baby!"

"No Judy, you're a big girl!" corrected Chenelle. She always thought Judith was cute.

Judith gave her a toothy grin. "Noooooooo, I'm a baby!"

Carl jumped into the conversation. He needed to speak with Chenelle alone. "If you're a baby, then you're not big enough to have a cookie. Or color with Officer Bello." Judith's eyes grew large. She affirmed she was a big girl and practically jumped off the bed. Chenelle took Judith's hand. Carl looked at her stoically. "If you take her to Bello, will you sneak off?"

"You'd only find me." Chenelle said. She knew where this was going. She lead Judith away to a female Grady officer. She debated leaving, but decided to go back to Carl's room. He was still stony and serious. She didn't like this side of Carl.

"...The first person I killed was my mother." Chenelle's eyes widened. The day she lost her virginity to him she'd asked him who was his first kill. He didn't tell her. She had no idea the story was that painful. "We were staying at a prison in Georgia and got overrun with walkers. Mom went into labor with Judy, but something was wrong. I don't get it. It seemed like she was fine one moment and there was blood the next. Maggie had to-" Carl was choking on his words. This month had been a test of strength for him. It was hard for him to continue. "Mom told me goodbye and Maggie saved Judith. Mom was gone, just like that. And I had to. It had to be me because I loved her. I couldn't let her turn."

"..."

"If you had told me you were pregnant earlier, I would have probably told you to get rid of it. You have no idea how dangerous this is."

Chenelle's face twisted with hurt. She couldn't understand why he would say such a cruel thing. "I'm not stupid. I do know that this is dangerous. I may not have seen it first hand, but I know that tomorrow or next week I could die from complications. I know that even if I deliver perfectly I could die from infection, clots, heart attack, stroke, or shock, later on. I think about this everyday!" Tears streamed down her face. She held her bump protectively. "We could both die. Or worse, I'll be fine... and he'll be dead."

"..." So it was a boy.

"Are you going to ask me?" Chenelle feared this question for the last six months. "You haven't asked, which isn't like you. why?"

"...Because I won't like the answer either way. If you say no, then the rumors are true and I didn't protect you. ...I know firsthand what _that's_ like and I would feel like shit if _that_ happened to you and I didn't notice. If you say yes, then it means I was stupid and put your life in danger for ten minutes of pleasure."

"Two minutes."

"No it wasn't. I mean it was my first time too so-"

"Do you regret Judith being here?" She cut him off. She wanted to tell him no matter what happened this baby wasn't a tragedy. His honesty shocked her.

"...In the past, yes. I love Judith, but if she wasn't here mom would still be alive. I love her, but I miss my mom." Carl did the math again even though he didn't have to. He and others had throughout the past month. That baby was his. "Do I have to ask?"

"..."

"Even if you don't say anything, this baby has a good chance of looking like the father."

Chenelle burst into tears. At first Carl thought he got it wrong and wanted to apologize. He wasn't wrong. "I'm sorry. I was scared! I didn't know what you'd do, or your family would do if they found out. ...I used to love you. I really did; but you never loved me. I didn't think you'd love this baby. And you just said you want me to get rid of him."

"I didn't mean now. It's way too late for that."

Chenelle didn't understand why he kept saying that. "Why'd he have to be yours?! I am always so sad and sick and hurt all over. I want to puke everyday and have headaches and backaches and cramps. His kicks hurt me! I'm scared that Dr. Anderson was right and he'll rip me apart. I've never felt more depressed and lonely and I just want Gabriel! ...your dad took the only person left in this world that truly loved me. Your dad took him from me and it's not right! This isn't right!"

"That's enough." He had no idea how the conversation shifted to their parents. He wasn't going to let her disrespect them.

"Gabriel was my dad, like Michonne is your mom! I need my dad! He didn't deserve whatever Rick did and you know it! And you know it was over Michonne which makes no sense! Gabriel dated Michonne first!"

"She didn't want Gabriel."

"Did she even have a choice?!"

"My dad would never force Michonne to do anything! If she's with him then she wants to be." She scoffed. "Fuck you, Chenelle."

"You did. And now I'm tied to you people forever! All these excuses... You're an awful person! Your dad is an awful person! So bad that I was willing -still willing- to let everyone think Dr. Anderson is this child's father over him being a Grimes!"

"You're fucking crazy! If you think the Andersons are better than us, you're just as batshit as everyone knows you are!"

"I'm crazy?! I'm crazy?! You go after a unknown group, by yourself, with one rifle and no other supplies, and I'm crazy?! Your whole family is insane!"

There was a knock on the door. Officer Licari opened the door. "Is there a problem here?"

"No." "Yes!"

Officer Licardi rubbed his stubble. This was an awkward domestic dispute. He'd heard everything. Unfortunately so did several others. The gossip would spread as soon as the situation was diffused. He sympathized with them both: Chenelle because he also disliked Rick Grimes and Carl because of his baby mama issues. "I think you should take a walk."

Chenelle took a deep breath. "Alright, I'll calm down. I never meant for this to happen. I don't even know how this happened."

Carl was so angry. He knew he should end their dispute there, but he continued. "The condoms were expired. It either broke or wasn't effective."

"How do you know this?" Carl only had a sixth grade education.

"Negan told me." It had the desired effect. Chenelle grew silent and pale. "And he _can't wait to see our little fucker_." Negan asked him if he knew what sex was and teased him about being a virgin. Carl took the bait and grew defensive about his sexual status. It didn't take Negan long to figure out which girl. "You should have told me. I would have been able to protect you. I was caught off guard so he knows it's mine." When Negan told him about the ineffectiveness of condoms in the new world Carl freaked out. Negan laughed and threw him a party; he got drunk and made Carl sing lullabies while he swung Lucille.

"Damn kid, that's rough." Officer Licari didn't know whether he should leave because the intensity died or try to get Chenelle out of the room.

"...Is this your way of forcing us to be with you?" If Negan was interested in their baby, the Grimes were the only ones remotely able to keep him at bay. "You're just like your father."

"Well you're nothing like Michonne."

"Good! I don't want to be. If you think that _grillo,_ Enid, will be the Michonne to your Rick, you're a fucking _pariguayo_! _Soy la mamá de este carajito!_ Just do what you do best and disappear." Chenelle got up rather quickly for someone her size. She pushed passed Officer Licari and stormed out of the infirmary. Carl was livid. He wanted to hate her, but he couldn't. He was stuck with her too. This did not go well.

"Damn, kid... Welcome to the world of grown-ups."

**The Next Morning...**

Michonne had been analyzing the moment with Negan since the moment the Saviors left. She had to admit, that was a good move to bring Carl back alive. With Carl dead, it would be just the fuel their needed to go to war. Even if the Saviors lived, Negan would have been out a source of food. They didn't produce as many crops as Hilltop, but nobody was starving in Alexandria. Negan was smart for that. He was also oddly likable. This is what made him dangerous. Negan showed his power and number, then he coaxed you out of fear. He tried to change the narrative of being looted into a business transaction. It was probably part of their plan to lure them into a false sense of security. Since Negan had absent minded moments and cursed too much, he appeared less intelligent than he was. It also made it hard to tell jokes from serious rhetoric. His promise of providing services was an example of that conundrum. Michonne didn't doubt that the Saviors did offer protection of their colonies. They probably were good because she hadn't seen many walkers around Alexandria in the many years she'd lived in Virginia. It didn't matter if the Saviors were good or not; Alexandria didn't need the Saviors. On weaker people it would be a good hustle, but they knew better. They could only trust themselves with their future.

Rick saw Michonne slowly getting dressed. She had a lot of things on her mind. Rick did as well. Rick stopped her from putting on her pants. Michonne stared at him through the mirror. Rick was fully dressed in a worn pair of jeans and grey t-shirt. She was surprised. This was the first day she hadn't helped him with his clothes. She smiled. Rick was adapting well to his one hand. He'd mastered putting on his clothes. Now he wanted to practice with a more important trick, taking hers off.

Rick wrapped his right arm around Michonne's waist and used his left hand to pull the flowy, green top from her body. He kissed her neck and shoulder. Michonne's skin grew warm. She loved the feeling of his lips on her body and Rick loved tasting her. He looked at them in the mirror. Michonne looked sexy standing in a puddle of her clothes. Her skin seemed to radiate against his. His focus was solely on her: those smooth long legs, leading up to her delicious pussy, her curvy hips, flat stomach, to her breasts that looked magnificent in the light brown bra she wore. It needed to come off. Rick studied it wondering how he would unhook the damned thing. He swept Michonne's dreads out of the way. He kissed the back of her neck and slowly licked it. He could tell her nipples were getting hard in the bra. Now he definitely wanted it off. He used his right arm to hold one side of the bra while he pulled the other side and maneuvered with the hooks. He pressed harder and tried again. It took about five attempts to finally get it off. Rick smiled. He felt insanely accomplished.

Rick wasted no time unbuttoning his jeans and unzipping them. His cock sprung out, ready. He impatiently removed his shirt. Adrenaline was flowing through him. It felt good to know he could undress his woman. It was a simple task, but made his pride soar. It made him feel like a man. He pulled Michonne's hips towards him and bent her forward. "Stick your ass out," Rick commanded gruffly. Michonne locked eyes on him and followed his command. He loved that. There was no nervousness or uneasiness in her stare. This was just like every other time they fucked despite Rick's injury. Knowing that it didn't bother her made him love her more. And he would show her.

Rick slowly eased himself in her pussy. She was tighter than usual; the month Carl was missing hand them too unnerved for sex. Instead they laid next to other and talked. As intimate as that was, they were glad to return to normalcy. Michonne clinched causing Rick to moan pleasurably. Michonne was going to have to readjust to him. Her body would mold to his again when they made up for that month of celibacy. Her pussy grew wetter from the thought and Rick's cock spreading her. His hand was gripping her hip tightly. He slowly moved within her loving the feeling of her slick heat gripping him. He gradually increased his pace. The sounds of slapping echoed through their room. Michonne loved that sound; so did Rick. It fueled his thrusts. Michonne's skin pebbled from the intensity. Michonne swiveled her hips as Rick pounded into her. The feeling almost made Rick's knees buckle. "Jesus..." He could feel every inch of her pussy. Her move movements made their fucking sensational. He didn't think he'd last longer. "Shit, Michonne."

"You miss this pussy baby?"

Rick's cock jumped inside of her. He felt like a teenager. He wasn't creative enough for dirty talk so he just answered her question. "Yea-yes."

Michonne smirked. He was so cute. Even though he was slamming into her something as simple as dirty talk had him flustered. "Yes Rick, oh shit yes!" Michonne straightened up halting his thrusts. She turned to Rick who met her with a desperately heated kiss. He was still throbbing inside her. She could feel every pulsation causing her to gasp in pleasure. She rain her fingers through Rick's hair and continued to take their sloppy kisses. Michonne took her leg and let it rest in Rick's right arm. At first he tried to grab it, but recovered quickly. He locked it in his arm and looked into the mirror. Their hair was equally messy from sex. Their skin glistened from a layer of sweat. His eyes locked on her pussy. She watched him as he watch them. "Fuck me Rick. Fuck your pussy." Rick slowly moved. He'd never tried this before even when he had two hands. Rick's breathing hitched. Even though his movement was restricted watching his cock disappear into her pussy was incredibly erotic. He could tell Michonne enjoyed it too. Her walls contracted sporadically. He knew she would come soon. So would he.

Michonne held onto his neck and played with her clit with the other hand. "Oh my God." Was she masturbating to their fucking. Rick couldn't handle the image. His balls grew tight. His grip tightened on Michonne and he came in an eruption. He cried out in pleasure. "Shit, oh my God!" He used his left arm to brace himself and wouldn't collapse. Michonne was still rubbing herself with him attached. The only thing he could do for her was not fall. Hypersensitive after cumming, the feeling of Michonne's orgasm made him understand the term little death.

The lovers looked at their image one more time before separating with a kiss. They had to get their children from the Grady infirmary.

"That was incredible. The thangs you do to me... Jesus."

Michonne smiled as she pulled up her pants. "I have a good partner."

Rick blushed. "I came first."

Michonne kissed him, "This time."

Rick smiled and continued putting on his clothes. Then he put on his gun holster. He was surprisingly done before Michonne again. She smiled at him and put on her sword. Rick held his hand out to her. She took it. They left the house together.

Their neighbors waved or stopped them to talk. Some of them were concerned or complained about what the Saviors took from them. Others asked about Carl. Michonne held Rick's hand tighter to keep him calm as he reassured the Alexandrians that it wouldn't be this way forever. Rick was disappointed to see how few Alexandrians carried a weapon at all times. This further reinforced the knowledge that they would never be able to win a war with the Saviors.

He thought about their recent encounter with the Saviors. There were many things that bothered him. "Michonne, what do you think Negan meant by _let Carl live long enough to see his own little asshole be born_?" Rick asked, "Was he talking about a near future or a distant one?"

Michonne was impressed. He was thinking the exact thing she was. "That's what I want to know."

"You usually know everythang."

Michonne chuckled. "Everything?"

He laughed as well. "Well everythang that has to do with Carl. He tells you everythang."

"Carl used to tell me everything. He's always on the go. At first I thought it was good because of how much he contributed, but I might have let him grow up too much."

Rick shook his head. His blue eyes searched hers. He believed every word he said. "The world did that, not you."

"Yeah... But we can't blame the world for him being a father before he's eighteen. Carl and Chenelle did that to themselves if it's true. I don't get it. We had the talk. Each time he'd say: _I know. I got it. I already know this stuff._ "

"That's probably not what Negan meant. If Carl was the father of Chenelle's baby he would have said something. He wouldn't let her raise it alone. He's a good kid."

"That is true."

"Negan did confuse you and Tara." Michonne rolled her eyes. Rick sighed. He hadn't forgotten the hostility between Michonne and Tara. "Are you sure you're okay with her being around?"

"Yes. I already told you not to do anything. ...She'd do anything for you and honestly we need that right now."

"Yes. We do. I hate having to pretend I'm dealing with this arrangement. If it was just Negan, we could kill him and be done, but this is a business. Someone would just replace him. Kind of like taking down a drug dealers in the past. A small victory before someone else replaces him." Michonne nodded. "We have to do this right."

"Eugene says we have two options. Materials from mines are toxic and readily available. It just seems like they'd be hard to extract or sneak back inside. We can't afford to lose people. We could also try pesticides. I really like that idea. We could have a bigger harvest if we used them, and it would make sense to have them. We'd just have to be careful when we use it ourselves."

"The second option seems to be the better one. I think it would make the other communities more likely to join."

"We need to go on runs, hit libraries and study before we get the actual poisons. This is really going to take a while."

Rick nodded. "The longer we plan, the less he'll suspect."

Michonne and Rick walked into the infirmary. Then they went to Carl's room. Judith was playing with Carl's hair. She took the bows that held her ponytails and put them on him. Carl just let her. Michonne wished she had a camera. Rick knocked to get their attention.

"Dadee! MeSown!" Judith abandoned Carl and reached for them. As usual she jumped in Michonne's arms. "A lot of peoples came. I saw babies! Sanelle habing a baby! Her tummy is dis big." She spread her arms out and giggled. "Was your tummy like dat when you had me MeSown?" It grew silent. Michonne didn't know what to say. Judith looked at Michonne inquisitively. Her eyes had darkened to match Lori's, but Judith thought her eyes were dark like Michonne's eyes. Michonne had been the only mother she'd known. Judith decided to ask Rick. "Dadee did MeSown have a big tummy wid me?"

"Judy... Do you remember when Carl told you about Lori?"

"No." Judith said dismissively.

Michonne thought about her words. "Well I'm told Lori was a very pretty lady, just like you. She had brown eyes and long brown hair just like you, Judy. And she loved you very much."

Judith smiled, "Nice lady!"

Rick looked at Michonne and decided he'd tell Judith the rest. "You and Carl were in Lori's tummy. Lori was your mommy."

Judith looked at her father then back at Carl. "No! I was in MeSown's tummy. Cawl was in MeSown's tummy."

Michonne looked in Judith's eyes. "No baby. You and Carl were in Lori's tummy."

"...no! No! No! No! No! NO! NO!" Judith fought Michonne's grasp. "You mean!"

"I still love you Judy. I'll always love you."

"But you don't wanna be my mommy." Judith said starting to cry. "MeSown don't wanna to be my mommy! You don' love me."

"...I do. I love you more than you'll ever know." Judith continued to cry and rub her eyes. Michonne's heart was breaking. "I'll be your mommy."

"No, you don't! Why I say _MeSown_ not _mommy_?"

Michonne looked at Carl. She was asking him just as much as she was asking Judith. "Are you sure that's alright? I don't want you to think I took your mother away."

"Yes," Carl and Judith answered at the same time.

"So you my mommy now?" Judith asked. The words were broken by her sniffles.

"I think I've been your mother for a long time, sweetie."

"I love you MeSown." Judith frowned and tried again. "I love you mommy."

"I love you too, baby."

Michonne and Judith held each other for a while. Rick was amazed at the strength Michonne had at this moment. He hadn't really helped in this situation. Michonne was always better with his children. Rick still didn't know if he'd ever tell Judith that he wasn't biologically her father either, but if he did he would make sure she wouldn't doubt his love for her.

Carl closed his eyes. He also felt like Michonne had been their mother long before this moment. He wondered how hard it was for Michonne to get through this moment. Now that he learned he would be a father soon he wondered how his parents did everything. Carl hated himself as their son. For the past month he'd done nothing, but cause them stress. Now he was about to make it worse.

"Mom, dad, I have something to tell you."

**(A/N) I updated much faster than usual. I think this was my longest chapter. So much happened in it. I just wanted to mention before people get mad at Carl what he meant when he said "I would have probably told you to get rid of it." From Carl's prospective (and reality) pregnancy is dangerous. His mother died from complications, Judith was a walker magnet, he heard of Andre's tragic death, AND he's probably witnessed stillbirths and miscarriages throughout Alexandria. As much as they hate each other right now he doesn't want Chenelle dead which could happen easily because of their baby. It's been an amazing coincidence that this chapter came around Mother's Day.**

**Don't forget to review.**

_**Next Chapter: Ron Anderson gets upset with the Grimes family right before a celebration with the Saviors.** _


	15. Tell Him Your Plans

Rick wasn't one to plan for parties, but he would make an exception this Harvest Festival. Deanna channeled her sorrow into expanding Alexandria and the harvest. Rick was glad to see her in better spirits. He gave credit to her strength. Rick believed she was a better person than he was. He was a wreck when his spouse died; he couldn't even imagine the hell he'd go through if Michonne was killed. And thanks to him, she was also without her son. It was thoughts like those that made him attend this meeting. Rick was ready to do right by this community. It was time to plan.

"We should invite everyone to Harvest Festival." Rick looked at Douglass and Deanna for their reactions.

Douglass looked confused. "Everyone is invited."

"No, I mean Hilltop, the Kingdom... the Saviors."

"..." The silence was awkward.

"...what are you planning Rick?" Rick didn't say a word. Deanna and Douglass exchanged looks. They wanted to know. Everyone had a reason to hate the Saviors. Once they were dead they'd throw a party even larger than Harvest Festival. "I'm behind you, whatever you do I promise I will back you. They took my wife," Douglass tried to swallow his rage. "So please, let me know what you'll do."

Rick thought about what he said. He had grown to like Douglass and Deanna Monroe. They weren't perfect leaders; the same was true for himself. They had invaluable assets. Douglass kept everything in line. The rations, the jobs, the homes, Douglass regulated everything. Deanna was a brilliant mind; she was well liked and found new ways to better the community. Rick wasn't one for people or meticulous details. He just knew how to survive and keep those he loved alive. Rick loved his community. It was him home; this was were he found his family. Alexandria was were that family grew. The Grimes family was definitely growing. Rick smiled, his grandson would be here by the end of the night. The little one had no idea how lucky he was. His mother was smart; his father was cunning. His grandparents would make sure he'd always be alive and well. Plus, he had sundry "aunts" and "uncles" that would die for him. Rick's inner circle had grown a lot. So he decided to let the Monroes know what was thinking. "For this party, everythang is going to go perfectly. Everyone will enjoy themselves, and everyone will leave. Alive."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone. They won't be dumb enough to let their guard down during the party. They'll be armed, they might even outnumber us. But it's not about that. We need them to think we're compliant; and, for another couple of months we will be. But then that's when it'll happen." Rick opted for the truth. He would need their help. "We're going to poison their food supply, all of it. Then we'll have an army take out those that fought it off. Every Savior will die."

"...how?" Deanna asked

"Pesticides."

Douglass thought about it. A cruel grin broke his face. "Yes... Yes! We'll kill them like the vermin they are."

"Rick, that sounds dangerous. What if the other communities don't comply? And won't it be harmful for those applying it to the crops?" Deanna opted for organic fields for a reason.

"We'll find a way to make it work. I think between y'all, Eugene, Chenelle, Daryl, and Maggie we'd find a way to make it work."

"I think we should include Maggie in more than just this discussion. She has amazing potential and leadership qualities."

Rick nodded. "I agree. She's a very passionate person, very headstrong and a good friend." Perhaps Deanna could help Maggie. Occasionally Maggie was so sickened from grief she'd hurt herself. They assumed the pain came from mental anguish since it only came after she would cry. Deanna pulled through since the death of her spouse, he wanted the same for Maggie. "You should ask her."

"I will." Deanna stared a Rick for a little before letting out a giggle.

"What?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing profound. It's just... We're in a good place. We are in a really good place right now. I couldn't have imagined that after you took over Alexandria that we'd actually be sitting, discussing, listening, and running this place together. There's never black and white is there?"

Rick was silent. He wasn't sure how to respond. He decided to go back to business. "Uh, from what Sasha told me, Hilltop is actually run by a crazy man who calls himself Jesus. His real name is Paul Rovia. HillTop's leader Gregory is just a figurehead. We need to speak with him, test his loyalty to the Saviors."

"Rovia? Do you think he's French or Hispanic? Rosita, Officer LiCari, and the girl with the dog speaks Spanish, right? Deanna can speak French."

Deanna nodded. "I've been reading a few books on the diplomacy in the Middle Ages. I think that would be the best way to speak with King Ezekiel."

Rick laughed. Thinking about the knights and monarchy at the Kingdom never failed to amuse him. He stayed at the meeting little while longer to listen to other Alexandrian business. Rick realized how disinterested he was in politics. Perhaps this was why he was a deputy and never dreamed of running for sheriff. Rick decided he would meet with the leaders of the surrounding towns in a month. Although speaking with them was important, this month was going to be spent with his family. Rick looked at his watch. Maybe it was time for him to head to the infirmary. He walked home thinking about a milestone he was about to hit. Grandparent... Rick never put any thought into it before Carl told him it was about to happen. Rick was disappointed and denied it was true at first. He didn't know Chenelle, but knew she was smart. If anyone could trick his son, it would be her. He was even more skeptical when Carl told them he used a condom. Michonne was also pissed. She fussed at Carl for his irresponsibility. She was already shaken from his rampage against the Saviors; finding out that he was weeks away from being a father put her over the edge. However, when Carl explained everything, they begin to understand his confusion and hesitation when it came to Chenelle's pregnancy. They realized Carl still had issues from his sexual assault that needed to be addressed. The fact that Carl was too petrified to ask Chenelle if the rumors of Dr. Anderson was true made Rick want to revive and slaughter the Claimers again. If he could do it over again, he would give that pedophile the death of Jeffery. This is why he hated rapists and molesters. Even after the assault, the damage lasts and reoccurs. Rick was frustrated; he didn't know what to do. What else could he do to help Carl? What else could he do to help Tara? He'd killed their attackers, but they were still hurting.

Rick tried not to focus on the negative. There was so much to be angry about (Carl becoming a teenage dad, Chenelle keeping this from them for months), but at the end of the day he was gaining a new member of the family. Rick could get it right this time. He could be around more, see the things he'd missed with Judith and in many ways Carl. This child didn't have to see devastation and hunger. This baby would be a symbol of everything right in this world. Rick admitted that he felt disenfranchised that Carl sired a child in one act while countless moments with Michonne weren't fruitful. Rick sighed. He wanted children with Michonne; even knowing he was going to be a grandfather, he still wanted children with Michonne. Unfortunately, Michonne didn't want any more children.

'His name was Andre,' he remembered. Rick would have loved her Andre. He would have loved Andre with the same fervor he had for his other children. Rick wondered how Andre died. He would bet his life it wasn't on Michonne's watch. Maybe it was natural causes or an illness. Rick still didn't know much about Andre. They somewhat talked about him when Rosita gave birth to her sons. She mentioned him again when Carl was missing. He promised her that she'd never have to feel the pain of a child's death, but they got really close with Carl. Like his feelings with Carl and Tara, Rick felt helpless when it came to Michonne's hurt. It felt shallow to try to relate to her. Carl and Judith were alive. Andre was dead.

Rick wasn't surprised when Michonne told him she had a son. It was obvious because of her initial apprehension with Judith combined with her uncanny parenting skills when she eventually helped with Judith. He tried to keep the conversation going, but could tell it had taken her a lot from her just to tell him what she did. Although Rick had many questions, he wouldn't ask her. There were many opportunities they could have discussed Andre. They never did. Honestly, there were many things he and Michonne didn't address. This lack of transparency didn't concern him; from his perspective his relationship with Michonne was great. It improved steadily as time went by. He wanted to know about Andre, but he also didn't want to rock the boat.

Rick walked up the porch and unlocked the door to their new home. They'd upgraded for their expanding family. The children had their own rooms. There was a room for baby Grimes and his mother; there was even enough space for guests. It was surreal living there. Rick could never afford such a place before the turn. As soon as he opened the door he heard footsteps racing towards him.

"Daddy! You back!"

Rick bent down and picked Judith up. He supported her with both arms. She seemed to ignore his missing hand, but Rick knew that was Michonne's influence. "Hey Judy. I missed you."

"I been too busy ta miss you, daddy." Rick was tickled. Whoever befriended Judith in the future would need thick skin. "Mommy made me clean for da baby. It was hard." Judith snuggled on Rick's chest. "I no wan a baby, daddy. I wanna be da baby."

"You're my baby." He kissed Judith's forehead.

"I love you, daddy."

Those were words Rick would never tire of hearing. Regardless of the trouble brewing, their love made everything right in the world. This was what he lived for. "I love you too, Judy."

Michonne looked over the edge of the stairs. "Hey."

Rick looked up at her. There was the another woman he lived for. Michonne was dressed simply, t-shirt and jeans; however, he couldn't stop the possessive smirk. "Hey." Maybe he would join her upstairs. "Judith told me y'all've had a busy day."

"Yeah, we finished the rooms. Daryl found a rocking chair. I'm thinking we can go out of state to a Babies-R-Us, get him other things. ...I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. Andre was planned. This...?"

"Mommy who's Andre?"

Michonne gave Judith a sad smile. "I'll tell you later baby." She turned to go to her room. "We should wash up before we go. Carl's already there."

"How long does da baby take ta come out?"

"It takes a long time. Would you like to Tara and Maggie's?"

"No. Not til Unca Genn come back."

"..." Michonne and Rick looked at each other. They already told Judith that Glenn died. They wondered why Judith didn't understand. "I think I'll stay with Judith. We'll need to talk. Come for us when he gets here okay?"

Rick nodded. It made sense. Before they arrived, Judith would be babysat by Tyreese and Yolanda. Tyreese was gone and Yolanda was still morning Noah. Rick thought it was too cruel to ask Yolanda to watch Judith when he couldn't bring her son back. They would also ask Glenn and Maggie to babysit; but, Glenn was gone and Maggie was hurt. There was too much bad blood between Michonne and Tara for Rick to ask her. Daryl and Sasha had gone on a hunt. There were scores of people who'd love to babysit Judith, but the ones they allowed were limited.

Rick washed up and knocked on Judith's door. Michonne opened it with Judith's hand in hers. Michonne gave Rick a small smile. When he returned their lives would be different. "See you later."

Rick cupped Michonne's face and gave her a soft kiss. Michonne felt the familiar warmth shower her. "I love you," Rick said.

Michonne kissed his the palm of his hand, "I know."

"Good." Rick gave her a mischievous grin. "See you later, grandma."

"Okay, yeah it's definitely time for you to go. The audacity! You're the one with the grey, not me."

"You're makin' it seem like I'm a dirty old man."

"..."

Rick grinned. "Michonne."

Judith was confused. "Mommy, daddy's not dirty. He just had a bath."

Rick laughed. He loved his girls. Michonne smiled at that too. She picked Judith up and turned to Rick. "Still old though," she responded childishly and closed the door.

Rick debated opening it and prolonging their little banter. He decided to join his son. "See you later, Judy."

"Bye!" She replied.

Rick headed out the door and walked to the infirmary. His neighbors waved. Several people walked up. Some had petty complaints. Others gave him congratulations on his newest addition. The most memorable was Abraham who told Rick to tell Carl he was _entering a life of literal and figurative shit_. Rick shook his head. Had he'd known about Chenelle's pregnancy, he would have asked Abraham and Rosita to prepare them. They had twin boys. Carl could watch Chris and Chenelle could watch Dominick. Carl had helped with Judith, maybe Chenelle did too; but they'd soon discover the fundamental differences between baby boys and baby girls. Rick and Michonne would help them though. It wasn't just Carl's baby. The family was having a baby. Rick took a deep breath and walked into the infirmary. "Let's have a baby."

* * *

Many people wanted to see this child be born. Grady had to put a cap on those allowed inside. Chenelle elected for Jessie and Sam to stay. Carl and Rick as biological father and grandfather were there. If Michonne were there, she would have noticed how this birth followed traditional patterns. The males were waiting outside. Jessie and the doctors were in the birthing room with Chenelle. There were no drugs to help her thanks to the Saviors. Carl was pale. The last time he'd witnessed a birth it was tragic. The more he heard Chenelle scream, the worse he felt. Rick put his arm around Carl. "She'll be fine. She has doctors. She's young. She's healthy. They'll be fine."

Sam was also scared. He didn't know birthing would be like this. An hour into it, he ran home. Rick frowned. He knew Chenelle was close to that family, but he didn't feel comfortable with his grandson being around cowardly people. He'd already learned that lesson leaving Gabriel with his kids. The opinion of cowardice was only reserved to Sam Anderson. Rick listened as Chenelle yelled and cursed things in Spanish. Jessie responded with reassurance, in Spanish. Rick was amazed. He'd always seen Jessie as weak, a victim who needed protection. He was beginning to see how capable she was. She helped Chenelle with the dogs, still worked in Alexandria. Now he discovered that she was bilingual. Pete had truly held her from her potential. If Jessie could change, so could everybody in this community. Rick was reassured with the route their lives were going. If that wasn't proof enough, Carl and Rick heard a dainty cry.

After moments that seemed like an eternity, Dr. Stevens walked out of the room. He removed his gloves and turned to the family. "It's a boy, seven pounds, ten ounces."

Rick clapped his hands and tried to hold the elation he felt. Seven pounds, ten ounces, this was good. His grandson was a good birth weight. "How is she?"

"She's fine. Would you like to see them?"

Rick shot up before Carl. The new father was still unsure of what to do, but he followed Dr. Stevens into the birthing room. The nurses were still cleaning from the birth. He saw one carry a bundle of bloody cloths. He hesitated. There was so much blood, Carl didn't want to look at the bed in fears it was like last time. He hated this. Since when was he so weak? He could hear his son crying. He flashed back to when Judith was born; but it was only temporary. "Carl" Rick brought him out of it. He looked up to see them. Everyone was fine.

Jessie smiled at him. "Congratulations, Carl, he's beautiful. _¡Lo hiciste bien, Chenelle!_ "

Chenelle was fine. She was sweaty, swollen, and tired, but she wasn't dying. A nurse placed the newborn in Chenelle's arms. Carl's heart raced as he got closer. Chenelle looked Carl in his eyes and smiled. She turned back to her baby; she lifted the bundle to eye level. " _Bienvenido_ , little one. Welcome to the world, Miles. _Te amo mucho_." Miles opened his eyes a little. He blinked before crying again. Tears rolled down her eyes. " _Gracias Dios._.. Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

"Can I-" Carl couldn't seem to get his bearings. She nodded and handed Miles to Carl. Carl took him gingerly. He looked at his son curiously. The baby was very squishy. He knew this was the appearance of a typical newborn. He knew he would grow, change, and fill out his features. Carl knew his kid would; he would make sure of it. This actually turned out okay. Carl's eyes sparkled. He couldn't believe he had so much love for someone not even an hour old. Miles had skin the color of sugar cookies. He had short wisps of brown hair. Miles took another short break from crying; he opened his surprisingly brown eyes. Carl looked at Chenelle, this was what she was thanking God for. Miles must have had eyes like one of her relatives. Blue or brown eyes, Miles was definitely a Grimes. Carl grinned when he noticed tiny freckles on Miles's rosy cheeks; this was his son. "I didn't know babies can have freckles."

"You did." Rick said. He looked down at Miles with the same awe. It was good Chenelle told the truth when she did. One look at Miles and Rick would have known they were kin. Miles looked sleepy. "Carl give Miles to his mother." As much as he wanted to hold his grandson he knew the first day of feeding and skin-to-skin contact was important. Rick locked eyes with Chenelle. "You're family now."

She shook her head. "No, but Miles is. Carl will eventually marry someone else; maybe I will too. Just keep my baby safe. It's all I want."

"We will. You know we will. I know we aren't friends anymore, but can we at least never argue in front of him?" Carl remember the troubles between his parents. He loved them, but that is one thing he wished they'd done differently.

"Yes." Chenelle agreed. "Let Mr. Grimes hold him before you give him to me. ...Let him see his grandson."

Rick was about to decline when Carl placed Miles in his arms. Rick held his grandson and examined him. Miles stopped crying and looked back. Rick felt euphoria rush through him. He was perfect. Miles was making faces. Rick found them amusing. Miles was going to learn everything. Rick was happy he was there to help him. He was amazed with the little life he was charged with. Rick realized he wouldn't have had this without Alexandria. He wouldn't have had this without the the people in the background he once deemed weak. If it wasn't for the maniac girl with the dog he wouldn't have his third generation. If it wasn't for the abused mother of two who took in that maniac girl, making sure she was healthy and fed, today wouldn't have been possible. If it wasn't for Olivia's rations, the quick thinking of the doctor and nurses with limited supplies, the Monroes who handled the things he couldn't, today wouldn't have been possible. It wasn't just the Grimes who'd gained a baby. Alexandria had a baby.

"I was wrong. I thought after living inside these walls for so long that maybe they couldn't learn. But today, I saw what they could do. What we could do, if we worked together. We'll reinforce the walls. ...we'll expand the walls. There'll be more. There's got to be more. Everything Deanna was talking about is possible. It's all possible; I see that now. When I was out there with them... when I knew we would have this place again... I had this feeling. It took me a while to remember what it was because I haven't felt it since before I woke up in that hospital bed." Rick started crying. Jessie, Chenelle, and Carl also teared up. They were humbled by this titan's tenderness. Emotions were already high. Everyone could feel the love they had for each other. Chenelle felt guilty. She'd almost denied her son this moment. She only did it because she thought she was doing the right thing. Maybe it was like Michonne said. _Anger makes you stupid. Stupid gets you killed._ She was no longer angry. "I want to show you the new world, Miles. I want to make it a reality for you. Please, Miles, let me show you, please." Miles scrunched his nose; he made a small noise and moved his nose again. Rick gave him a kiss before giving him back to his mother. She was going to open her robe so the newborn could rest on her. Somehow, this regulated the newborn's system. Rick smiled and exited for modesty reasons. Carl and Jessie stayed.

Carl touched Miles's cheek. "Don't keep him from me or my family again."

She could hear the hurt in Carl's voice. "Okay."

"...I'm sorry. I didn't mean when-"

Chenelle remembered the hurtful things Carl had said, but decided to let it go. She'd been wrong. He'd been wrong. They needed to move forward. "Carl it's okay. Miles is okay. I'm okay. And we'll be okay. ...I'm glad we're talking, but I'm really tired. Will you watch him while I..."

"Yeah."

Chenelle opened her robe and placed Miles on her chest. She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes. Carl stood by her to make sure the baby didn't slip. Carl continued to look at his infant. He was in disbelief. The last thing Carl expected was a happy ending. It turned out okay. The baby was fine, the mother was fine. It almost felt like a dream. Things always went wrong. This world was cruel. However, as those inquisitive brown eyes scoped him out Carl knew life wouldn't always bring heartache. "Miles, I like that name." He remembered that the name of the new Spiderman was Miles Morales. He never got to read them. Life was giving him a different adventure. He looked up at Chenelle. He thought about everything that led up to this moment. Although he was happy right now, Carl was a realist. He and the mother of his child were going to clash a lot. He couldn't even imagine what would happen when they both saw other people. Luckily, that would be the distant future. The one girl he was interested in had someone. Plus Enid hadn't spoken to him since finding out he was going to be a father. Carl didn't mind the idea of Chenelle dating, but he already wasn't keen on the idea of Miles having a father figure that wasn't him. Most concerning, Chenelle was somewhat unstable; he had issues too. Pregnancy was nothing, the real drama was going to begin.

**One Week Later...**

Michonne woke up with a start. Rick felt her disturbance and jumped up too. He immediately grabbed his his gun. He didn't know what startled Michonne, but his instinct was always to protect her. Michonne sat in her spot for a few seconds to catch her breath. She was drenched with sweat. Rick lowered his gun and got back into bed with her. He rubbed her back. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" Michonne didn't respond, still trying to get her bearings. She remembered everything she dreamed. _Miles... Her baby was dead._ Anxiety filled her. Unable to stop the paranoia on her own, she jumped out of bed and dashed to Carl's room. Michonne opened the door and rushed to the crib.

Miles was sleeping soundly. She reached to touch him, still panicked about her dream. Michonne scooped the little bundle in her arms. She was relieved when he started fighting her hold. The little one didn't like being roused from his sleep. Miles squeezed his eyes shut and hollered as loud as he could. Michonne was content hearing it. He was fine and in her arms. "It's okay sweetie. Mimi's here. Mimi's here."

"Mom?" Carl was groggy and extremely exhausted. Seeing her by his son's crib and his father at the door made him push back his fatigue. Like his father, he grabbed his weapon. "What's going on?"

"Everything's fine. Go back to sleep." Michonne focused on Miles as she spoke.

Carl felt a headache forming. Miles seemed to be twice as loud now that it was the early AMs. "I won't be able to sleep with him crying like this." Carl put his weapon up held out his arms. "It's okay. I got him. You should go back to sleep."

"..."

"Michonne." Rick called for her. She looked to Rick and started to feel guilty. Everyone was awake and panicked because of her. What was she doing? It was just a dream. She handed the baby to Carl and fled the room. "Michonne." Michonne ignored him and got into the shower. She let the water run down her and tried to forget.

**Two Days Later...**

_Fire was everywhere. She could hear the crackles over the screams of her family and friends. Michonne frantically tried to get to her home. She had to see if her family was alright. Corpses reached for her. "Save me," they begged. "Don't go." Michonne realized it was Noah. "Don't go." The corpse asked as he reached to devour her. Michonne looked Noah in the eyes and cut him down. She had to get to her family. "Don't go," he begged again._

_"Mommy, don't go." Michonne looked around. That was Andre. "Mommy, don't go." He wasn't there. All there was were fire and zombies._

_Michonne ran from him. She went to find her family. She went inside her home which inaccurately was Gabriel's church, the church in Georgia. She opened the doors and cleared the hoard inside. Then she was whacked upside her head. Blood trickled down her face. She looked up to see Negan. Lucille was in one hand. Miles was in the other. He gave her a bright smile. "Nice fucking life, you got here Michonne. I'll be taking it." Michonne screamed. Negan laughed. He used Lucille again, but missed. He kept going after her. Miles screamed, terrified._

_"Your grandma's here. Mimi's here." She wanted to console him, but had to concentrate on surviving._

_Negan laughed. "You're a shitty mom and grandmother. Maybe if you'd watched Carl he wouldn't be an 18 year old father." He eventually whacked her again. She crashed on the ground. Miles cried more. "If you weren't such a shitty mom, Andre would be here and you wouldn't have to play house."_

_"Put the baby down."_

_"No, if you can be "Mimi", I can be Uncle Negan. You hear that you little fuck?" Negan stomped on her. "Taking it like a fucking champ. You're going to break Michonne. You won't get a happy ending."_

_"Fine. Put the baby down!"_

_Negan looked at her inquisitively. "You choose to die?" Instead of killing her with Lucille like she thought he would, Negan grabbed Miles by his ankle. Miles wailed. Michonne got on her knees, bowed, and begged him not to hurt her baby. Negan laughed. "Are you fuckers serious? What an interesting day this is!" Negan slammed the infant onto the ground. Michonne screamed and woke up screaming._

Michonne knew she was awake, but continued screaming. Rick jumped up again and realized Michonne has had another nightmare. He reached for her. "It's okay. Just tell me what it is, I'll fix it."

"The baby! Where's the baby?!"

Michonne gets up, but Rick grabs her wrist. Michonne pulled against him. "Michonne, no."

"Let me go. Let go!"

Michonne punched him in the eye. Rick's face whipped to the side. He accidentally let go. Michonne left to get to Miles. Michonne was lost in between her subconscious and reality. She had to see if Miles was still here. She didn't expect strong arms to carry her in the opposite direction. Michonne couldn't see who was grabbing her. She struck her assailant. She was tackled to the ground. They wrestled in the dark until she was put into a hold. She found it increasingly harder to breathe. She reached for his face ready to claw his eyes out. That's when she finally heard him. "Calm down, Michonne! It's me, Michonne! It's me! Come back!"

How long had Rick been screaming? Michonne croaked. "Rick?"

Rick loosened his grip, but didn't let go. "You okay, baby?"

"No."

"...Did I hurt you?"

Michonne was amazed. After what she'd just done, he's concern was on her. Miles started crying. He must have heard the disturbance. He couldn't have been the only one. What about their children? She couldn't believe she did this again. "You didn't hurt me." She actually fought him. Guilt swallowed her. "I'm sorry. Rick, I'm so sorry."

Rick let go of Michonne. He went to Chenelle's guestroom and got Miles. "He's fine Michonne." Michonne got closer to them, but Rick backed up. "No."

"I want to hold him."

"You will, but once we figure out what's causing this." Michonne nodded. She didn't like that Miles was being kept from her, but she understood. She felt bad. This would be another sleepless night for Carl and Chenelle. Rick placed Miles in Chenelle's arms. She wanted to ask about Rick's injuries, but just as she did for the Andersons, she stayed quiet. Carl would let it wait until the morning. He knew Michonne would tell him what was wrong. She never kept anything this serious a secret. Rick found Michonne in their restroom.

Michonne found herself in the shower again, after checking on Miles again. She let the water wash her tears away. She tried to convince herself that it was just a dream. She wanted to be happy. Things had been great, overwhelmingly great. It was because of that bliss that Michonne couldn't give into it. Her dream reminded her how fleeting happiness was. Negan was coming. He was coming to take more from them. Michonne didn't give a damn about the material things. There was so much wealth in Alexandria; but, she didn't need it. She'd gone without it before and could do so again. Michonne had so much more to loose. Her family meant everything to her. Unlike the other Grimes, the moment she held Miles, she was filled with panic and dread. She remembered Negan's words.

_"Your asshole son, who shot many of my guys..., shot them fucking dead, is returned to you safe and sound. For the past month, I've done nothing to harm him. I made sure he was fucking happy, fucking healthy, and let him fucking live long enough to see his own little asshole be born. Has that little shit been born yet? I really want to see that little fucker."_

Negan knew about Miles. He already had Carl for a full month. Why did he want to see Miles? Michonne didn't know why Negan had such an obsession with their family, but she knew she would die before something like that happened again. However her dream proved there were things worse than her death. Negan would ask about Miles. He might even try to take their baby away. Negan was so warped, so evil, that he might decide that if he couldn't have Miles they wouldn't either. He might do this to punish Carl for killing his men. She couldn't bury another child. Michonne gathered herself up and decided to go for a run. It was counterproductive to her shower, but she needed exercise. She needed to be prime for Negan's eventual return.

Rick couldn't return to sleep from worry. Michonne was disturbed about something and he wanted to help. He didn't stand bye when his family needed him. Rick decided to join Michonne on her run. He knocked on Carl's door. "I'm going to go check on Michonne. Can you check on Judith when she comes out?"

Carl tried soothing his son. Bouncing, walking, and talking to him wasn't working. His diaper was dry. Maybe he was hungry. He'd ask Chenelle if Miles was hungry when Rick left. "We'll be fine."

Rick nodded and went to find Michonne. Rick stretched before taking his jog around the community. It took him ten minutes to find his lover. Michonne was still going. He sped up to catch up to her. Michonne looked at him and allowed him to stay by her side. They continued for forty minutes and took a break. "Michonne-"

"I don't want to talk."

Rick nodded. "I know, but you should. If not me, maybe..."

Michonne gave a facetious laugh. "You better not suggest that I talk to Dr. Russells. I...I dreamed about Negan killing Miles. I don't need therapy. I just need Negan gone."

"Come here." Rick held Michonne. He knew there was more to her dream than she was telling him; however, he did think Negan had the majority of her fear. "Eugene knows how to make bullets now. We'll make sure all our guns are loaded. We're goin' to HillTop. Then we're goin' to The Kingdom. These nine days with our family have been great, but we have to get thangs in order."

Rick promised to show Miles the new world. He and Michonne had to finish making it.

**(A/N) Sorry I'm so slow the the updates. As slow as these updates are, they're much quicker than my others. I think this chapter was the most cheerful; that's why I didn't want to bring the Ron part in. It doesn't always have to be dark.**

_**Next Chapter: Rick and Michonne talk to Jesus of the HillTop Colony and Ezekiel of Ezekiel's Kingdom.** _


	16. March to War (Part II)

Judith pouted on her bed for ten minutes until she realized nobody was paying attention. She was starting to hate having a room to herself. Judith was used to having the bulk of her immediate and extended family's attention. She didn't like being ignored. Judith jumped off her bed and went to find someone. Carl's door was closed. She was about to kick it when she heard him sleeping. Between working and Miles, he didn't get much rest. Judith thought about kicking his door anyway, but Carl was quicker than she was. He'd catch her and she'd be in trouble. The last thing she wanted was a spanking. Instead Judith went to her room and got five slips of paper. With a black crayon she drew mad faces on them. She grabbed a red-orange crayon and scribbled angrily over her drawing. She was going to give that one to Miles. She was mad at Miles the most.

The tiny brunette slipped one under Carl's door and then did the same to Miles and Chenelle's room. Lastly, she went to her parents' room. To her surprise, the door was open. Judith peeked inside. Rick was laying on the bed with Miles beside him. Judith looked at her drawing. She decided to go back to her room to make changes. She grabbed a blue crayon and drew tears underneath the eyes. She thought Miles would've been in his mother's room. Seeing him with Rick made her sad. Rick was her daddy not his! Miles had taken her brother; now he was working on her parents. Judith had enough; she decided she was going to give them the picture, pack her stuff and go to her Uncle Daryl's house. Maybe her uncle still loved her.

Judith returned with her picture and approached her father and nephew. Rick was talking, at first Judith thought it was to her until she realized he wasn't. She folded her arms. "Why y'all talk ta him? He's a baby. He can' talk back."

Rick saw his daughter's miffed expression; he saw the photo in her hand. "Come here." Rick sat up and reached for Judith. He put her on his lap. A brief moment of insecurity swept through Rick. Every hug he gave Judith, he worried she's find his stump disgusting. As usual, she didn't pull away. She felt repulsion towards the youngest Grimes, not her father. "He won't always be a baby. The more you talk to him the more he learns."

"I don' wanna talk ta him. He smells and he's loud. Ebryone likes him, but I don't."

"That's because you don't know him." Judith looked unconvinced at first, but she looked at Miles curiously. He was tanner from the last time she saw him. Most days she avoided him because of his crying or dirty diapers. This was the first time she'd seen him awake and not crying. Miles had a full stomach and clean diaper. He was content. Judith realized he was cute, totally different from the screaming red ball she'd been avoiding. He smelled nice when he was clean. She hadn't been around many babies to place the scent. Miles looked at her as well, but then focused on Rick when he started talking again. "He's going to look up to you one day, just like you look up to Carl. You're his auntie. He's gonna need you to protect him and teach him stuff, thangs he doesn't know."

"Just like my Auntie Maggie and Auntie Cawoll?"

"Just like them."

Judith looked confused, "But daddy, I'm four. I can' do stuff like Auntie Maggie and Auntie Cawoll."

"I know, but you can teach him things they can't. Like the best hiding places and how to make friends. Everyone who knows you can't help, but love you. It's been that way since you were born. You bring people together and make them happy."

Judith ignored that. "He's gonna hafta do what I say. Cause I'm his _Auntie Judy_." There was a sinister edge to the way she said her title. Rick decided that it was better than her resenting him. He knew there would be several other talks in the future concerning Miles.

Each day, Rick gained more of what he'd searched for. He was a little sad that he would have to leave his kids again, but Rick would be back. When he did, the world would be a little safer for them.

* * *

Michonne was on her way home when she knocked on Maggie and Tara's door. It had been a while since she'd visited. She'd given up her grudge the night Glenn died. All Tara wanted was Rick to be happy. Even though she went about it the wrong way Michonne could understand her reasoning. They'd worked well when they went to Grady. Maggie was awesome in Alexandria. Michonne knew she'd want them on this trip to Hilltop and the Kingdom.

After a brief moment Maggie opened the door. "Hey"

Michonne frowned, "hey." Maggie looked really ill. She was extremely pale and looked looked like she was shivering. Michonne wondered if she had the flu. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fi'ne. What is it?"

"...We're going to Hilltop, but I think you should go to the infirmary."

Maggie scoffed. "No, thank you."

"Mag-"

"I said no! Jesus Christ, if you wanna help me, go to Hilltop and get them to our side. I'll get better when Negan's dead."

"..."

"Is that all?" Maggie seemed to be temperamental. Michonne knew this wasn't normal.

"That's all." She looked Maggie in her eyes. "After we deal with Negan, we're still going to have to deal with everything else."

"Everythan' else? It worked out for you!"

Michonne looked taken aback; her face then became stony. Michonne wanted to laugh. It would be a bitter laugh. It worked out for her? Yes, Michonne had a family now. Many would even say she had love, but it wasn't supposed to be that way. She had everything in her old life: a loving family, successful career, status. Yes, she was blessed with it again, but it didn't come without loss. There would always be a fight for her security. Her status came from living and keeping others alive. Plus everyone she called family looked nothing like her and they never would. It worked out? That was debatable.

Michonne decided she'd tell Rick about it. Maybe he'd be able to convince Maggie to get help. Rick wasn't her favorite person in Alexandria either. Maggie held a lot of resentment. Rick's family was growing and she felt like hers disappeared. Michonne also thought it might be beneficial for her to see their shrink. She wasn't blind that she wanted everyone else to talk to him, but not herself. Michonne knew that Dr. Russells was a good doctor and had helped others, but she wasn't ready. Perhaps she'd follow her own advice and deal with it once Negan was out of the way.

**The Next Day...**

Tara, Jessie, Rick, Michonne, and Aaron left Alexandria in the afternoon. They left Daryl, Sasha, Maggie, and Abraham home specifically to deal with the Saviors just in case they weren't back in time for the tribute. The car was silent at first until Tara started conversation. "Is this your first time outside the walls?"

Jessie nodded. "Yes. Honestly, I've forgotten how beautiful the world was. I want to continue doing this. Maybe I can see a beach again."

"I used to hate the beach. Too much sand that got everywhere and the sun always burned me." Tara grimaced, but then smiled a nice memory that came from it.

"Sam, poor kid, was like that. He would sit on a towel and never move. Ron loved the water, he was good a beach volleyball too. ...I have to see the beach again."

Aaron continued the conversation. "I miss the beach at night. The waves, the cool breeze, the stars. It seems like a fairy tale now."

"Wow, Rick, Michonne have you ever thought of that? Miles and Judith may never see a beach."

"I just want them to live." Rick said darkly. There was an awkward silence. He realized he made the atmosphere grim. "But who knows, if all goes well maybe it'll be a possibility."

"I hope."

Michonne sat and thought when she and her sisters would go to the beach in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands. The waters were so beautiful and clear. They would take selfies, drink delicious chilled alcohol, shop, and flirt with strangers. It was where she conceived Andre. Andre loved the beach. He would play in the waves and make sandcastles. They used to bury Mike's friend Terry in the sand or make him a merman. Michonne felt a slight pain in her chest. She'd be happy never leaving the walls again if it would bring Andre back. She tried to focus on her mission, this was for Carl, Judith, and Miles. As trivial as it was, it would be nice to have memories like that with them.

After a day's travel, they arrived at Hilltop. The guards looked at them warily. "What do you want?"

They always went through this. "My name is Rick Grimes, this is my wife Michonne, Tara, Aaron, and Jessie. We're from Alexandria. We need to talk to Gregory about some thangs."

"What kind of things?"

Aaron took over. He was a better diplomat than Rick. "It's nothing to be alarmed with. We found something that may aide with crops. We don't produce as much food as Hilltop so we thought we could barter maybe. Form a trade."

The guards looked at each other. They opened their gates and let them roll in. Rick looked around the town with amazement. There were so many people. The last time he was here, he'd promised the Savior problem would be taken care of. It didn't go over well. He would have to convince Jesus to still listen to him again. Rick hoped he would listen. He would even play the coward in front of Gregory to make it so. He would play up his grandson's birth and the Harvest Festival; he'd make it a celebration. Rick smiled at that. Miles was already an important person. The people of Hilltop looked at them as cautiously as he looked at them. It was a product of everything they'd been through, they can't fully trust their allies.

Remembering last visit, the crew washed before visiting Gregory. Then they discussed business over dinner. Jesus was with them. Gregory seemed to be the only one unaware that the proposition wasn't for him. Aaron started talking. Unlike their trip to Grady, Rick let him in on their plan to destroy the Saviors. Aaron understood even though the thought of killing so many people sickened him, but he would do anything to protect Eric and his home. This included going to war. Aaron made up surrendering to the Saviors and claimed the pesticides were a token of their apology for any trouble it might have caused. Aaron also invited them to their Harvest Festival. Gregory chastised the group for biting off more than they could chew. However, he was eager for the festivities. Gregory fantasized about Maggie, Michonne, Sasha, Tara, and now Jessie; if this was a glimpse of Alexandria he wanted to see more. He would attend the Harvest Festival; the town would. Gregory would never miss an opportunity to wine and dine.

Jesus listened, but didn't say anything. He found it odd that the ambitious group from a few months ago would suddenly cave. Aaron was very convincing, but Jesus was no fool. His concentration switched when he felt someone staring at him. Jessie jumped once she saw she was spotted; Jessie blushed. Her throat became parched. She knew what she was there for, but didn't expect Paul Rovia to be so good looking. She felt like she would melt under those blue-green eyes. She gave him a sweet smile. Still a little flustered she ran her fingers through her hair and said, "Hola, soy Jessie. ¿Tu sabes español?"

Jesus smiled. "Je ne comprends pas. Parlez-vous français?"

Jessie was about to say no when, Michonne replied in her stead. "Oui; parlons en français."

Rick stared at Michonne. Since when could Michonne speak French? He knew he didn't know much about her past, but this was a major tidbit about her he was clueless about. Michonne... When Rick thought about it, her name did sound French. He wondered why nobody brought it to his attention. Before this moment Rick thought her name was a wild creation from her parents. Hearing Michonne speak French had him curious about her life before him. He wanted to know it all. Where were her people from? How'd she learn? Did she teach French? Did Andre know French? Hell, did Carl and Judith know French? He wasn't missing just her life before the Turn, he was missing two years from the time they met. He'd unravel her mystery, but for the moment he went with the flow.

Gregory looked at the exchange in confusion. "Well isn't this a treat. I didn't know you had so many talented people in your midst." He stared at Jessie. "I would love to get to know you all a little better."

_"Something tells me this is more than a talent show."_ Jesus quipped in French.

Michonne smiled. She could see why Chenelle spoke to herself in Spanish so much. It was nice to hear her mother's tongue. Michonne's mother would always remind her daughters that only 25% of Americans were bilingual and that knowing French gave them an advantage. Michonne never realized how beneficial it was until this moment. She could talk about her plans in a room full of people without fears of a leak to Negan. _"We've come up with a plan to get rid of the Saviors. We will just need the help from Hilltop and the other colonies."_

Jesus's smile fell. _"We are not warriors. We've helped you scout locations, all that we know-"_

_"We're not asking you to fight. If we do this correctly nobody except those whom need to know will know this is happening."_ Although clueless about the conversation, Gregory was deep in it. It was like watching television. He made up dialogue. In his mind Michonne was trying to seduce Jesus with Rick sitting next to her.

_"Go on."_

_"It won't take much for those pesticides to be lethal. Add a teaspoon to what they drink. A teaspoon to jam, sauce, anything you can mix, spray a little over their tribute. They'll consume it and die. And to those that don't, Rick and the rest of us will be read with an fully stocked arsenal to wipe them out. Everyone."_

Aaron whispered in Gregory's ear. "I speak a little French. What they're saying could become needless gossip. We can go elsewhere to discuss the Festival."

Gregory whispered back. "To leave now would be rude. Let's just continue to enjoy our meal."

_"Jesus, I'm a grandmother now."_

_"Impossible!"_

_"He's almost two weeks old. I love that little boy. I have a son and daughter at home, a man who loves me so much it might be an obsession. ...If we do this without Hilltop I could lose them. That scares me more than anything. I have nightmares about losing my family. You have no idea what I'll do and have done to keep them safe."_

Jesus thought about her words. _"...Are you threatening Hilltop?"_

_"It's not a threat. I'm begging for your help. Paul, we have to do this."_

_"...give me more details about your plan."_ Jesus was moved. He felt like he was a good judge of character. Her words were honest, probably even more so since this was her native language. Jesus drank a little sip of wine; he continued a show for Gregory. "Michonne, I cannot tell you how beautiful it was speaking to you just now."

"It was. French is my first language and I haven't spoken it in years."

"Mine too. Would you like to walk with me, continue our conversation?"

"Oui."

Michonne turned to Rick and gave him a nod. Rick smiled and continued to eat his meal. Hilltop was in.

* * *

Rick watched as Michonne brushed and flossed her teeth before bed. Rick did the same, but flossing agitated him. Rick wondered what it would take to train dentists. He would ask the Monroes when he returned. Michonne rinsed her mouth and inspected her teeth. Finding nothing pressing she joined Rick in bed. His arms wrapped around her waist. She was so used to this she started to drift to sleep. Rick couldn't. His mind was still on her past. He wanted her to reveal things in her own time, but it bothered him that he didn't know this about her. Four years, and he was just finding out she was bilingual.

"How come you never told me?"

Michonne sighed. "I don't know. It never came up. There wasn't a use." Hypothetically, she could have cursed her enemies or pretended she didn't know English, but it wasn't as practical as silence. A lot of times silence seemed like the best alternative. Michonne wished it was the case now. She didn't want to talk about the past. Speaking with Jesus made her think about her parents, sisters, lover, and son. They were all lost to this world.

"How many languages do you know?"

"Just two."

Rick nodded. That was still impressive to him. He tried to learn a little Spanish over the past week for Miles. It wasn't easy. "How?"

"My mother was born in France." She could tell Rick wanted more, but she didn't budge.

"Were you?"

"No."

"Did you have siblings?"

Michonne got frustrated. That was enough. "Stop it. I don't know why you want to do this now. I respect your privacy, respect mine."

"I just want to know you."

"You do. You know what matters."

"...your siblings don't matter?"

Michonne flinched. She knew he didn't mean it, but that hurt. Michonne was beginning to regret speaking to Jesus. With Aaron's background she was sure he knew French; he was probably a polyglot. Michonne assumed Rick was curious about her past because of the new stage in their lives. She just didn't know why she was reliving everything now. "I was born in Savannah. I was a middle child; I have... had an older and younger sister. My mom taught French and my father was a cardio surgeon. They were strict, but loving. They're the reason I'm alive. My parents made me take up fencing. _Extracurriculars look good for college_. They inadvertently trained me for this life. ...I moved to Atlanta because I started working for Coca-Cola. I was doing business for them when I ran into Mike in DC. He was a lobbyist. There's not much else to say."

There was. She'd left out Andre.

"...My past is boring in comparison. My father was a cop and my mother stayed at home. I don't think Pa was a very good cop; everyone liked him, but Pa was fat. He'd always been a large, fat man. He was like a TV cop. I don't know how he manage to attract my mom, but somehow he did. Sometimes I think the same of us. You're so beautiful and amazing and I'm average..."

"..."

"Pa died my freshman year of highschool. I think that's how me and Shane became as close as we did. I don't know how I would have made it without him. I had Shane; ma got a cat, and Jeff had Lori. They were best friends growing up. She had a crush on me for the longest, but I never saw her that way until my senior year. She was a sophomore at the time and I don't know. It's just like she went from "that girl with Jeff" to "Lori". I still ignored her until I came back from college one year and she was my cashier. I think Jeffie had a crush on her because he didn't speak to me for like a year." Rick thought about his brother. He hated that this world changed him into a monster. "Maybe that's why he did what he did to Tara. I took his friend so he took mine. I don't know. I shouldn't rationalize evil... Jeff wasn't like that. Before this, he wasn't. He was smart and sweet. I used to protect him from bullies until he stopped showing his brilliance in high school to meet girls. This world, it killed him. Some days I just wish he had stayed missing, preserve my memory of him. What's worse not knowing or that it's not a happy ending?" Michonne didn't agree with Rick's confusion. Not knowing was worse in her opinion. She would give anything to know what happened to her sisters. "Mama wasn't fond of Lori the last years of our marriage. I think she sensed the strain on me and Lori's marriage. She was in Florida by this time, but she knew. Nobody could fool Betty Grimes. She was amazing. I still think she was magic. She watched every soap opera on television, but always had the house spotless and our food ready." Rick chuckled at the memory of his mother. "Occasionally she'd try to learn Spanish so she could understand the telenovelas. I never found out if she survived..."

Michonne turned to Rick. "Did you try searching in Florida?"

"Noth'n."

Michonne knew how that felt. Her parents weren't in Savannah when she looked. Her older sister wasn't in Charleston. Her baby sister wasn't in Washington DC. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Rick kissed her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

The next morning they work up and started their journey to The Kingdom. Michonne was silent. Thoughts of the past seemed to weigh on her. It didn't help that Jessie wanted to recollect on all the things she wanted to see or had seen. Jessie regretted not seeing the lights in Times Square. A selfie with her sisters in Time Square had been the cover photo on her Facebook when the apocalypse happened. Jessie regretted not going to California. Michonne had to move her youngest sister out of California after her modeling career was over. Everything Jessie mentioned she had a memory. It seemed as if they would never arrive at the Kingdom. It seemed even longer than the ride to Hilltop.

Rick noticed she was zoned out. That was not like Michonne. She was always focused and alert. He started to feel a little guilty. She didn't want to talk last night and he'd pushed her. Even though she didn't give much, he'd learned a lot about her. Most important, she learned that she'd been close with her family. As much as he wanted to say that he was her family now, that hurt didn't disappear. He rubbed her thigh. Michonne placed her hand on top of his and snapped out of her daze.

Aaron stopped the car and looked around. From what he saw it was a ghost town. "According to the directions Jesus gave, the Kingdom is here, but I don't see it."

"This is it." Michonne supplied. "You just have to wait."

"Wait for what?"

"Them." Michonne pointed to a couple of nights approaching them on horseback. They group got out to greet them.

"Who dares trespass over the sovereign land of his majesty King Ezekiel, first of his name?!"

Rick looked at Michonne. He'd recognized that dialogue from Game of Thrones. "I'm Rick Grimes, one of the leaders of Alexandria. I request an audience with King Ezekiel." This was stupid; Rick felt like Judith would be a better diplomat than he would. She might get a kick out of being a princess.

"Ah, the King of Alexandria himself. We've heard tales of your quests." The guard relaxed a bit. "But forreal though, did you really kill over fifty Saviors?"

"Yes. We didn't know of their numbers."

"Yeah... Well enter. I will announce your presence to my Liege." They were about to get back in the car when Michonne told them no. There were no cars beyond this point. It was something she remembered from her visit years ago. They walked passed the ghost town and arrived at a fence that surrounded a school. "You will wait here until our king can address you.

Tara nodded. "A school isn't a bad place to settle down. It's a sturdy structure with many rooms. There's the cafeteria which might have bulk items. Plus tissue! The only problem is that it's a school. I spent so much time trying to leave this place it just seems creepy to try to go in."

Jessie giggled. "You're funny."

It wasn't long before Rick was allowed in. Aaron went with him. Rick was grateful for him, he had no idea how to talk to these people. They went to an auditorium. Rick thought it was a little symbolic. Ezekiel walked onto the stage. "Ah my ally, King Richard of Alexandria . Welcome! It is an honor meeting such a famed warrior. What news do you bring good King Ezekiel?" Rick stared in disbelief and also changed his mind. He thought Judith would enjoy being here, but now he thought it would be Carl. There was a tiger the size of a man on a leash held by King Ezekiel. Rick was slightly uneasy. What would that flimsy thing do if the beast truly wanted to attack? Rick had to admit it did make Ezekiel look powerful.

"Let's talk in private."

"You have a gun." Ezekiel said unwilling.

"You have a tiger."

Ezekiel smirked. He liked Rick. "I will accept." Rick followed Ezekiel to a room backstage. "What did you want to discuss?"

"We think we've come up with a plan to kill the Saviors."

The older man nodded. "We're in. As long as it's not unreasonable."

"We're going to poison their food supplies."

"We're in. ...I have never been accepting of Negan's truce."

"Neither have I. But I'm playing along so he doesn't suspect us in the meantime. We're going to invited him to Harvest Festival. We'll wine and dine, nothing will happen. The month after that, poison them. I don't think he'll suspect us. My son just had a son. I'm sure it'll the party she was we're throwing the party."

"I'll let the others know." Ezekiel walked back to the stage and addressed his audience. "A prince has been born in Alexandria. We have been invited to the celebration of his birth! Let us prepare!"

"Huzzah!"

**(A/N) I did a small survey to ask what language someone named Paul Monroe Rovia would speak. So he speaks French. I was planning on making Morgan one of Ezekiel's knights, but I thought this chapter was already doing the most.**

_**Next Chapter: The Harvest Festival** _


	17. The Harvest Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Animal violence

Rick puts on a clean pair of pants and a fresh shirt. He looks at himself in the mirror and is slightly taken with how normal he looks. It was a simple button down, something he would have still considered dressing up before the turn. He shaved and got a trim from Jessie. He could see his face clearer. He'd gone so long without mirrors that sometimes he overlooked them in their house. Now he was studying himself. His eyes seemed to be lighter than his youth; he wondered if he'd have his grandfather's gray eyes when he hit sixty. His eyes had lines from aging, the stubble slowly growing back was graying as well. Rick put his hand on his hip. He was aging; he had a chance to get old. He couldn't believe that was considered a nuisance in the past. Rick was pleased. As his family scattered around the house, getting ready for tonight, Rick was looking forward to the future. They would just need to secure tonight to protect it.

"Daddy?" Rick looked to see Judith in the corner dressed in a frilly, pink dress. Maybe Rick wasn't as ready for the future as he thought. Judy was definitely growing to fast. Her pigtails were decorated with wildflowers. Rick knew by the end of the night they'd be lost to whatever activity Judith got into. "Cal says that kids my age are comin'"

"Yeah, I'm sure there will be a couple."

"...do I have to share my toys? Can they get they're own?"

Rick laughed. Judith had gone from a toddler who played with cups to a child who won't even consider handing over her Barbie. "If they share with you, share with them sweetie." In a way he was doing the same with Hilltop and the Kingdom. A lot of the food provided was coming from Hilltop. Rick even heard they were bringing beef. That alone made him want to get there early. The Monroes were coordinating everything. He knew Deanna would make sure there was enough food, drink, and music to last the night.

"Okay, I'll hide my toys." That was definitely not what Rick said, but he couldn't help that his daughter behaved that way. It was the exact thing he made Alexandria do when the Saviors invaded. She was a product of her environment, an adorable product to her environment.

Almost as soon as Judith left. Chenelle knocked on his doorframe with Miles in her arms. Rick waved her in. "Are you done getting ready? He spit up all over my hair and dress." Rick was about to tell her it wasn't that bad when she turned around. It gone from her left shoulder to the small of her back.

"I got him." He took Miles from her arms.

Chenelle rubbed Miles's hair and gave him a kiss. In Spanish she complained, " _Why is it always mommy? Why do you never do these things to your poppa?_ "

"Do you think he could learn three languages?" Rick thought out loud.

"I can't see why not. But I'm biased. I think he can do anything."

"Me too." Chenelle smiled. "I have him, go get ready."

"Okay."

"You looked very pretty pre-vomit."

Chenelle rolled her eyes and shook her head. She would have to bring a jacket and keep her hair up if she wanted to be vomitless tonight. "Thanks." She left to get clean.

Rick looked down at his grandson. "Hey." Miles focused on him, "grandpa trimmed his beard. Your grandma likes me better this way. Don't feel bad that she's making you call her Mimi, grandpa accepts he's getting old. But your grandma-"

"What was that?" Michonne called from the bathroom.

"Noth'n." Rick placed Miles on the bed and laid beside him. After a while of moving around on the bed. Miles started grunting. Rick knew what this meant. Soon he'd need to be changed. No more than three minutes later Miles started to cry.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Diaper."

"Oh, well I'm almost done so-"

"No, he has parents."

Michonne sighed. "It's just a diaper, Rick."

"Exactly, Carl!" Rick called. "Carl!"

"I know! I'm coming!" Carl replied, annoyed.

Rick rubbed Miles's back. "It's okay. Your poppa's comin' to change you. Carl!"

Carl walked in with Miles's bag. He grabbed a towel and placed Miles on it. Rick assumed Carl was being petty for changing Miles in the room with him, but since the dead walked Rick had been around worse things. Carl remembered to keep an extra diaper over Miles just in case he peed. After the first two accidents he no longer saw raising male and female babies the same. Miles fought Carl until the moment he was clean again. "Why do you do this with me and not Chenelle," Carl complained to Miles. He picked him up and glared at his father. He knew Rick would have still made him change the diaper even if he still had two hands.

"Fix your face," Rick warned. Rick looked down to his son's waist. Like him, Carl was strapped. However Carl was a little more reckless than he was. "Don't do anythang foolish tonight."

"I'm not. It's just a precaution..."

"Not just that." Rick watched as Miles headbutted Carl's chest. "I'm talking about girls too. There's going to be more than Enid, Anna, and Chenelle tonight. Plus our girls will be looking their best. Think with your head. You already have one son and that's enough for a long time." Carl turned red and nodded.

"Nice speech," Michonne stepped out of their bathroom. Rick was stunned. She was wearing a simple turquoise maxi, but her looks were anything, but ordinary. Her dreads were swept to the side and pinned into an intricate design and bun; and she had put on purple lipstick and smoky gray eyeshadow. Rick had never seen her in makeup before. He stared at her not knowing what to say or do. It was like he was looking at her for the first time again. Michonne walked over to him and embraced him. "There's going to be more than just our women tonight. Plus our women will be looking their best. Think with your head, Rick Grimes. You already have one son and that-" Rick cut her off and kissed her hungrily. Michonne moaned and let his hand explore, stopping only when he touched her hair. She broke their kiss. Michonne felt her skin vibrate under his gaze of desire. "I'll let you do an-y-thing you want after tonight if this goes well." Carl wasn't the only hotheaded one in the house.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Rick grunted out.

"Flatterer." She smoothed out his clothes and reminded herself to play it cool and enjoy herself. This was the calm before the storm. They were solidifying their alliances and appearing meek in front of their enemy.

Rick was thinking the same as her. "I might need a drink to get through it."

"There will be liquor at the party. Are the kids ready?"

"I'll check. Carl, Judith, Chenelle! Y'all ready?"

"Yeah." "Yes daddy!" "Almost!"

Michonne raised her eyebrow. "What?" Rick asked.

"I could have yelled."

"Sorry."

Michonne gave him a quick kiss. "It's fine."

Rick held her and swallowed the uneasiness in his stomach. He was even more nervous doing this than if he would have to fight. "Are you ready for this?"

"Yes. We got this."

"...then so am I."

* * *

The sun was setting on a pleasant Virginia day. The people of Alexandria had been busy setting up for the night's festival. It extended from the lake to the cul de sac in front of Rick's home. They had booths for crafts and games, tables for food, and areas designated for dance and play. Michonne's eyes widened at the sight. Deanna definitely outdid herself.

Surprisingly Ezekiel and the Kingdom were the first to arrive. King Ezekiel was hard to miss; he brought Shiva. Carl looked for any excuse to get closer to Shiva until Michonne put a stop to that. Then he gravitated toward Enid, Mikey, Ron, and the other teenagers. Chenelle and Rosita found themselves swarmed by neighbors and strangers to see their children. Rosita left to get three child sized masks. She knew this was going to happen throughout the night. Dominic, the older of Rosita and Abraham's kids, kept trying to take his and Chris's masks off. Rosita did what she could to distract their wandering hands, but the one year olds had other plans.

Michonne greeted her friend. "Need some help?"

"Four more arms would be nice. I swear if Abraham thinks he's just going to drink the night away while I'm stuck with the boys he's got another thing coming. I will make a scene."

Michonne nodded. "Yeah, after all we've been through out there it baffling that the guys would think pullback and solely raise their kids."

"Tyreese wasn't like that. Damn, I miss him... He was great with the boys. I think he would have made a great teacher or could've run daycare. I know that sounds odd considering how big he was."

"No, you're right. Judith wouldn't have made it without him. He was always great with her before Rick arrived."

"He would have been a great father." Rosita got a little sad. "I might have had a small crush on him. He was my type, physically."

"Tyreese was fine. Don't let Rick know, but he was my type too."

"Yolanda was a lucky woman, he seemed like the type to eat the chocha all night. I was so hung up on Abe, I wish I would had... I'm not happy with those _people_ coming in our home, Michonne."

Michonne hadn't forgotten what the Saviors did. They took Tyreese, Reg, Regina, and Glenn. They'd poached their supplies for months and had them living in a constant state of fear. Because Negan had an obsession with their family, they considered telling him that Miles had been stillborn until they realized he would have stormed their home anyway. Judith was wise enough to hide, but a newborn wouldn't know when to stay quiet and when it was time to cry. Michonne remembered Judith doing the same when they were holed up in Gabriel's church. The Termites were nothing compared to the Saviors. They would play it safe. "Trust me. This festival, it's not what it looks like."

"I know. You don't have to tell me either. Just know that I'm ready whenever."

"Thank you Rosita."

"No problem. Keep your family safe."

"You too." Michonne felt revitalized after her conversation with Rosita. She smiled when she found Judith playing tag with Noah's twin brothers and two kids from the Kingdom. They were faster than her, but she wasn't giving up. Her pretty pink dress had grass stains on them. Michonne knew that would happen and continued to let her play. Carl was near the snack table talking to his friends. Chenelle was beside Jessie with Miles. Smythe was laying by her feet. Ignoring her fear, she signaled Chenelle. "You're not his only parent. If you want to dance, give him to me or Carl. He's only talking."

Chenelle squirmed awkwardly. "You all have friends. I'd just be dancing by myself. I'm fine, Michonne."

Michonne didn't like that. "This is a party. You and Smythe go dance."

Chenelle was about to argue when she realized how rare music was. She didn't like separating from Miles, but it had been months since she was able to dance to music. She took her sling off and gave Michonne the baby. Smythe was at her heels as she went to dance to the Beatles. Michonne looked around. Several of their people were armed. Sasha was in the tower, Maggie, Tara, and Carol were in booths with fully loaded arsenals. It was just a precaution. However she wished she had her sword.

Miles looked up at her and giggled. "There's my pumpkin. Mimi's missed you. Mimi's missed her baby so much. You can stay with me even if you have a stinkie. I'm not mean like your grandpa."

**Meanwhile...**

Enid looked at the festival suspiciously. This made no sense. Rick Grimes was the same man who took over Alexandria when he found out one of their own had been abused. He was the same guy who disappeared for months to bring back a doctor and team of nurses. Now she was expected to believe he was rolling over after having his hand chopped off and best friend taken? Enid wasn't born yesterday.

"This party is bullshit."

"Well good morning to you, Mary Sunshine," Mikey joked.

"What is your dad planning?"

Carl shrugged "I don't know. He didn't tell me."

"Well you did kind of take off rampage a little while ago. So... Yeah, I wouldn't tell you either." Ron quipped cooly. Despite Carl coming back his friendship with Ron was still strained.

"I guess we'll just have to trust him."

Enid nodded. She was about to scoot closer to Carl when she noticed Chenelle dancing with her dog and some woman from the kingdom. Michonne was swarmed with people to see Miles. Enid couldn't believe Carl had a child. She wasn't the only one thinking that way. Anna also had a crush on Carl. He was from the outside, one of the most popular people in Alexandria, and always carried a gun. That made him irresistible in her eyes. "So you and Chenelle..."

Carl shook his head. "Yeah just once."

"Are you two together?" Anna didn't care regardless.

"No. We don't even get along. She's good with Miles though. It's weird, just weird."

"I just can't believe you would do something so stupid." Enid criticized.

"Thanks _Mom_ ," Carl replied sarcastically.

Mikey shrugged. "She's still hot though. ...you think she'd let me hit? You know if I start talking to her like you and stuff."

It got silent. "What the hell did you just say?"

"..."

"Are you going to hit him?" Anna asked. She could hardly contain her excitement. She envied Chenelle. Not only did she get to sleep with Carl Grimes, she potentially had guys fighting over her.

Carl scoffed. He was just told to use his head. Lust wasn't his problem though; it was wrath. "This is stupid."

Carl walked away. Enid glared at Mikey. "Way to go, genius." She followed Carl.

Anna didn't follow Carl and Enid. Knowing them, they'd climb over the wall to hang out. Anna assumed that they killed dead ones to let off steam. The Alexandrian teen thought about her actions and was disappointed in herself. She acted a fool. She just liked him so much. Anna would even be content being the other woman if she could be with him. Carl wasn't like that though. He had honor. That's why he was helping raise a son by a girl he didn't like wouldn't see her disrespected. She was mad at Mikey for think Carl would be okay with something like that. Chenelle was lucky. Enid was lucky. Anna folded her arms. "You're such a loser!" She went to the dancefloor; she had a friend to make.

"You're not going over the wall are you?" Usually Enid wanted to seem indifferent, but going outside the walls tonight would be dangerous. Walkers would be attracted to the massive group inside the walls. There would be more than usual out.

"No, I'm just going to it. Kill some at the fence."

"Fine."

Carl turned once he noticed Enid was still following him. "You don't have to come with me."

"I know. I want to."

* * *

The next to arrive was Hilltop. Many of them had stayed behind. Rick left a bad impression on them his first visit. Jesus and Gregory arrived with twenty others. Among them was a familiar face. Rick's eyes narrowed as Father Gabriel walked inside of the walls of Alexandria. The last he'd seen of him he had a bottle pressed to his throat. Michonne asked if he had killed him, but they now had their answer. No, he didn't. Gabriel and his God with a funny sense of humor was tempting him though. "Rick."

"Gabriel."

"I know I left on bad terms, but there was something... someone I had to see." Rick's hand twitched. "Chenelle. I wanted to see her. Abraham said something to me once and then I hear that Carl had a son and I was wondering-"

Rick breathed. He was annoyed, but at least Gabriel wasn't there for Michonne. Rick wouldn't have made a scene, but killing him in secret would have been hard to do with one hand. "Yeah, she had my grandson."

"...I want to see her."

"Dancefloor probably. Go see her. ...But Gabriel, the girl's stayin' in Alexandria. Don't even thank about her or my grandson leavin' these walls."

Gabriel was about to say something, but let it die. This was pleasant for Rick. He wasn't going to "look a gifthorse in the mouth". Jesus heard the tense conversation. "Is everything okay?"

"It's a long story."

**Meanwhile...**

Chenelle sat down, exhausted from dancing. She promised she'd find Michonne and Miles soon, but she need to catch her breath. Anna handed her some lemonade. "Thank you. Could you find Michonne for me. It's time for Miles's dinner."

"I could bring him to you."

"Rick wouldn't like that." This was true, but partially a lie. Chenelle didn't want Anna around her or her child.

"...okay."

"Pobrecita..." Puppy love was awkward to watch. Chenelle drank her lemonade amazed with the taste. She choked when Ron and Mikey sat next to her. She coughed violently. Why were all these teenagers around her? Carl wasn't there and Miles was with Michonne.

"You okay?" Mikey asked. He checked her out a brief moment before focusing on her face.

"Umm, y-yeah." She couldn't think of anything to say. She knew nothing about him and they've never spoke before. "I'm sorry, this is too weird for me. I know you're just being nice, but hanging out is awkward knowing how much Carl and Ron don't like me."

Ron shook his head. "I don't hate you."

"...You've never spoken to me. You're friendly with everyone except me."

"The first time I spoke to you, you rambled off in Spanish. You always seemed more interested in Smythe than any of us. Plus I thought it would be disrespectful to my girlfriend to get close to you." Ron avoided a girl he thought was attractive for his girlfriend; it was sad his girlfriend didn't extend the same courtesy.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Mikey glared at Ron. He went over for Chenelle to talk to him, not Ron.

"I'm not just sorry about that. Your mom took me in when I was pregnant. Your brother was nice to me. And after Miles was born I just- I'm sorry. ...you were the first to integrate the teens from outside the walls to your home. I know I was messed up back then and couldn't say much to you, but... I still don't know what to say. I'm just really sorry."

Ron shrugged. "You didn't really do anything to me. We're okay. Just visit Sam from time-to-time. It made him sad that you left. I wasn't surprised to see you go. They always take what they want."

Chenelle knew who _they_ were. "Would you like to meet him, my son?"

"Sure."

Smythe follow Chenelle as she walked. Ron and Chenelle walked side by side and found Michonne and Anna. Michonne gave the sling to Chenelle. "How was he?"

"Quiet considering all that's going on around him. You going home?"

"Yeah, I'm going to feed him and put him down for the night."

Michonne remembered Rosita from earlier. "Make sure Carl knows. You two can take shifts." She saw Gregory and went to speak before he could creep on Chenelle or ask to hold Miles.

Chenelle took Miles and showed him to Ron. "Do you want to hold him?"

"No, he's too small. I haven't held a baby since Sam." Ron searched Miles for signs of his father. Even though he knew why she lived with him, the rumor of her being his father's rape victim plagued him. He was relieved to see this wasn't his little brother. Miles was definitely a Grimes. He heard that he looked like Carl, but Ron thought he looked like Rick. Knowing Chenelle slept with Carl made him a little sad. What was it with that guy that the girls lost their minds for? Maybe if she told him it would make Enid's obvious betrayal a little easier. "Why Carl? What is it about that guy?"

Chenelle sighed. "We knew each other before Alexandria. I thought I loved him and he loved me. ...Why Enid? She never deserved you."

"She's cool, pretty, and smart. She can be very funny."

Miles grew fussy. "Yeah baby I feel the same. We're going to go."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She didn't answer. "Goodnight."

**Later...**

Right when they thought the festival would just be with the satellite nations, the sound of motorcycles ripped through the party. Michonne grabbed Judith and headed to their home. Daryl was at her heels ready to defend them if things went to shit. Carl glared at the newcomers. A horde followed the sound of motorcycles. Before they opened the gates the Saviors dealt with the mass. They had so much skill Carl was almost sorry that they were enemies. Humanity needed to band together not war. The Saviors would still die though. Carl's remorse died with the Monroes.

Carl watched as the gates of Alexandria opened. Around forty Saviors entered with their leader Negan. They were clad in some form of leather or jean with the exception of the female behind Negan. She was dressed in a slinky white and black polkadotted evening dress. She would have stood out without the formal wear. She was stunning.

"Rick Motherfucking Grimes! Sorry I didn't bring anything," Negan said facetiously. "It just didn't make any sense since you fuckers are my suppliers." If looks could kill, Rick's eyes would have done it. They burned with hatred. "Easy there sheriff. I'm just fucking with you. I didn't come empty handed. This pretty little pussy here is my wife Kiki. She's the best fucking singer in this goddamned world!"

"Not that there's much competition," she quipped. A pageant smile was plastered on her face.

Rick looked at Kiki. She was average height, about an inch or two shorter than Michonne. She was slender, naturally thin, and not muscular. She had beautiful chocolate skin, and a bright smile that didn't reach her eyes. She had long natural hair braided into a bun. This must have been the black wife he boasted of previously. Kiki had exotic good look, but her spouse made her his enemy. She wouldn't be spared.

Negan noticed Rick looking at Kiki. "Amazing ain't she? Look at that ass, these tits, those lips!" Negan grabbed each part as he spoke. Kiki didn't flinch. It didn't bother her, but Rick was disgusted by the objectification of Negan's wife. Rick didn't reach his limit until Negan said, "Almost like your Michonne huh?"

The Saviors laughed. Kiki winced. Rick glared. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"Shit." Carl saw his father's demeanor change. He flew down the ladder to help his dad keep his cool.

"Watch how you talk about my wife."

"Hey, no disrespect. This is a party right? Lighten the fuck up." Carl joined them. "Well if it isn't the killer kid. Shit not a kid anymore, you're someone's daddy. Where is the little shit? Bring him to his Uncle Negan."

Carl and Rick looked at each other. Carl didn't like this. They were able to delay Negan from seeing Miles last month by reminding him that Miles was a newborn and shouldn't be around many people. Now that he was about two months that excuse wasn't going to fly again. The Grimes men didn't want Negan anywhere near their home, women, and babies. Carl also didn't want Kiki around his son. He remembered her from his stint at the Sanctuary. He remembered Kiki being a vain, materialistic woman who played spades and gossiped all day with Negan's auburn-haired wife, Francesca. She was a little more spoiled than Negan's wives because she had talent in addition to her good looks. Because of this Kiki got whatever she wanted. Carl didn't want her to get the same parental whim Negan caught. If she asked for Judith or Miles, Negan would take them; he would try. Miles wasn't leaving the walls. If they thought he was crazy for what he did to avenge his father, they weren't ready for what he'd do to protect his son.

"Only you two," Rick said begrudgingly.

"Excellent! See this is what I'm talking about." Negan turned to his men. "You fuckers have a good time." Like roaches caught in the light, they scattered. Negan looked around the community as they walked to the Grimes's home. He whistled. "This shit is gorgeous."

"Yes, you have a lovely community. It even has electricity. Negan, baby, can I have some music?"

"You gon suck my dick?" Kiki was about to respond when Negan kissed her. It was a peck at first, but then he returned to deepen the kiss. She moaned wantonly. He grabbed the back of her neck. "You know I'm dicking around about you sucking my dick right? I can't damage the pipes of my favorite girl."

"But I want to." Kiki gave him a small pout.

Negan grabbed her face. He made her look at him. "Behave." Kiki nodded and became disinterested in their little journey. Her feet hurt from walking in the heels. As long as she got her music she didn't mind humoring Negan on his trip to the Grimes home. She didn't want to see the baby. She didn't want to see the girl. She especially didn't want to see this _Michonne_. "Why weren't your women at the party? I expected to see Michonne at the gate like last fucking time."

"They were where they wanted to be."

"At home? Damn, I like this bastard even more. Not the best idea leaving your women unguarded though."

"You don't know Chenelle. And you sure as hell don't know mom."

"...That's amazing. All of this is fucking amazing: community, the alliance, your family. I took your fucking hand and you're still the luckiest guy in the world. These people love you. They're watching out for you. That old broad selling cookies and still has her hand on a concealed weapon. I've never seen that old fuck, Ezekiel leave the Kingdom. How the fuck did you talk to that basket case? Then your family. Your woman is so fucking hot, a fucking samurai. She's not intimidated by nothing. Your boy is strong, a damn good shot, plus he's got the biggest balls known to man. His baby mama has trained dogs, so a motherfucker would get mauled even trying to touch that little fuck. ...You've got a grandson. You probably don't even know how incredible that is. Most of the world is dead and you're holding your third generation. You don't have just a lineage. You have a legacy. That's true immortality." So this was the source of Negan's fascination.

"I know how lucky I am. Everythang you said is why I took the deal."

"Smart move, honestly your only move. We would have leveled this place." It took everything Rick had not to take the bait. Chenelle told him poisons took patience. To be successive he would have to humble himself and be unassuming. Constantly reminding Negan he would kill him wouldn't lower his guard. Rick took a deep breath and stopped in front of his home. He opened the door. Daryl was a the top of the stairs. He had his crossbow around his shoulder. Kiki got closer to Negan. She was feeling set up. She didn't want to die. Negan grinned. "Sup" Daryl was silent. "How about you do something useful and go get the family."

Carl shook his head. "I'll get them." Carl stomped up the steps and wasn't surprised to see his family in the same room together.

"Mommy?" Judith was scared. Something was going on, but she didn't understand what. "I wanna go ta bed."

"I know baby. We're just going to say hello to someone first. Don't be mean. He says bad words."

"Is he a bad man?"

"...yes baby, he's a bad man."

Judith started crying. Miles joined soon after. Chenelle rubbed his back. "Protect him."

"You know I will."

Chenelle nodded and placed a pocket knife in the sleeve of her ivory sweater. She held her baby close to her and got up from the rocking chair. Smythe followed her movements. Negan was elated to see them. Chenelle walked up to him and showed him their baby. "That is definitely the serial killer's kid. Aww don't cry little fuck. Uncle Negan's a good guy." He took Miles from Chenelle's arms. Smythe growled and barked menacingly. Negan supported Miles with one hand and drew his gun.

"No!" Chenelle screamed.

It fell on deaf ears. Negan pulled the trigger. Smythe whimpered before becoming silent. Chenelle passed out. Carl drew his weapon. "Careful boy, I have your whole fucking future in my hands."

Carl's heart rate increased. His breathing shallowed. "Give him back. Give me my kid and get out. I'm not doing this!"

Rick drew his weapon on Kiki. "Put Miles on the couch and get out. I swear I will blow her goddamn brains out if you don't."

"Always making demands. Do you not realize what this is?" Michonne told Judith to hide and raced downstairs. She quickly surveyed the scene. Negan shot Chenelle's dog. The girl was coming to her senses only to give a mournful moan seeing her baby, her only family in that monster's hands. Michonne wanted to puke. Her nightmare was coming true. Why did they do this? They should have lied, said they both died in childbirth and hidden them away. It was selfish and stupid to have Miles so close to them during their war. "There she is, the voice of reason. Kiki, go meet Michonne. Kiki!"

Kiki stared at Michonne. Confusion marred her face before realization. A lifetime flashed before her eyes: hugs, kisses, birthdays, laughter, yelling, fighting, trips, baby showers, births, deaths, and reunions. "Michonne? Michonne?! Ma sœur, il est moi! Michonne il est moi!"

Michonne snapped to the thin woman beside Negan. She dropped her sword. The stress must have been too much. She was seeing phantoms again. This wasn't real. "No. No. Stop!" This wasn't happening.

"Michonne what's going on?"

Kiki burst into tears. "Kiki what the fuck?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" She said between sobs. "I know I look ugly crying like this. ...that's my sister."

Rick and Carl looked at Kiki and Michonne. "This isn't real."

"Andre! Auntie Kia is here. It's okay Andre, everything's okay. Come down! I want to see you!"

Michonne eased her way toward Kianga. Rick lowered his weapon, but analyzed Negan's grasp of Miles. There had to be a way to get him safe. Michonne touched her face. It was almost as if she didn't age. "Kianga?" It was her sister, her baby sister. "Oh Kianga." Her little sister was Negan's wife. They were enemies. "Kianga no."

Negan gave Rick a dark smile. He rocked Miles in his arms and grew pleased with the scene.

"I guess we're family."

**(A/N) I've never updated like this before. :) So at least you have two chapters just in case I take 2 months to update again. If you're wondering why Kianga never caught on that her sister lived in Alexandria, she had the same assumption as Negan. When she heard about Carl's mother, she expected a white woman.**

_**Next Chapter: While Kianga and Michonne reunite, the plan to kill the Saviors does not change.** _


	18. Before the Storm (Part One)

Most people attending the Harvest Festival were having fun. The fact that they were being ruled by the Saviors was an afterthought in the plethora of food, music, and new people. It wasn't until the gunshot that that illusion shattered. Almost like walkers, Saviors, Alexandrians, and others stopped what they were doing to get to the sound of the bullet. Tara and a Savior reached the door of the Grimes's home at the same time.

"You better hope it wasn't my family," Tara threatened. There was no sarcasm or joke in her voice.

"I was going to say the same to you, bitch."

Tara opened the door to chaos. Negan's wife and Michonne were hugging; Michonne held her, but looked lost. Chenelle was covered in her dog's blood praying in front of Negan. Rick and Carl had their guns pointed at Negan. Tears fell down Carl's face. His son was screaming and he was panicking. Judith was nowhere to be seen.

Negan turned to the crowd with a large, friendly grin. "Hey fuckers, welcome to our fucking family reunion!"

"Wh-"

"Michonne Motherfucking Grimes is my fucktastic wife, Kiki's sister! Fucking crazy right?! So this doesn't concern you." Negan used his foot to slam the door closed. "Sorry about the audience. That's the fucking problem with small towns everyone's in your fucking business. Kiki, come get your nephew. He must have pissed himself with all his fucking hollering. Don't be such a fucking baby, little fuck." Kiki let go of Michonne and walked toward her husband. Kiki trusted Negan so much that the two loaded guns and Daryl's arrows meant nothing to her. Negan always knew what he was doing. Negan placed Miles in Kiki's arms. Negan liked seeing Kianga with a baby in her arms. "Sing him a lullaby. Something the family would like. Everyone's fucking testy."

Negan's gun hovered over the baby to keep their lives, Negan and Kianga's lives, insured. Kianga looked down at Miles with awe and fear. She hadn't realized until that moment how long it'd been since she held a baby. Kianga and Michonne's older sister was pregnant when the world ended. Was she alive too? What about their unborn nephew? Until now Kianga lived her life trying to forget her family so she didn't have to face the probability of their death. Seeing Michonne made her wonder about many things. She wanted to catch up. Unfortunately, their men were complicating the situation. Kianga hoped Negan would handle them soon. She wanted to talk to Michonne and Andre. Kianga was curious. She hadn't been paying much attention to the Grimes until she found out about Michonne. Now she wanted to know everything especially whose baby was she holding? Negan said it was her nephew. Was this Michonne's son? A tear fell; Miles was beautiful. "What's his name?" Kianga wondered.

"Grimes." Rick answered gruffly. "Now hand him over."

"I will. I promise I will. Rick, Carl, lower your weapons. I know what just happened is messed up and we can talk about it. Negan will deal with everyone outside and I'll stand right here so Michonne can get her baby."

"He's mine!" Chenelle screamed.

"And Kiki's mine. I'll be back for her; and, if she's not as happy as a fuckless fuck on free fuck day when I return, no one will be." Normally he would walk out with Kianga and whatever she wanted, but since this was legitimately her family he felt reassured leaving her. Negan was proud of Kianga; she was handling this well. Maybe she was more than a body and pretty voice. He liked that. Going to Alexandria made him rethink his relationship with his wives. Alexandrian women didn't need protection from their men. They were fiercely independent, skilled in weaponry, and defense. That intrigued him.

"They won't hurt me, baby." Kianga knew her sister and husband. There was no doubt in her mind or voice with her assertion.

Negan dipped to give her a kiss. She seemed melt from his touch. Kiki was in a hostage situation with a crying baby and guns drawn, but found herself ignoring it. She'd always trust Negan's judgement. He'd always taken care of her. Carl looked at Rick who looked at Negan. They agreed wordlessly. It seemed like the best way to get their baby back. Negan still had his gun trained on Miles, Kianga too since she was holding him. He was grateful for the Saviors surrounding the house; he wouldn't have left the house in one piece if it wasn't for them. Carl and Chenelle rushed to Kiki and grabbed Miles. Carl breathed a sigh a relief once he realized Miles was alright. Chenelle kissed her son until she noticed Smythe's blood on him. "I got him bloody. I-I got him bloody..." She was shaking.

"It's okay. It'll wash off."

"It's not okay. None of this is okay!"

Carl felt bad. "I couldn't protect him. Smythe either-"

"No, it's my fault. I panicked and so Smythe reacted. I didn't think he would grab Miles; I didn't know."

"It's not your fault." Carl glared at Kiki. "It's Negan's."

Kiki glared back. She never liked this kid, but she'd tolerate him since he was her sister's stepchild. Kiki knew she'd never acknowledge Carl as anything more. Rick stepped in front of her view of Carl, Chenelle, and Miles. "Why are you still here?"

"I'm not concerned with you or your kids. And after what happened, yeah, I'll leave. I just want to hold my sister and Andre one last time." Her voice cracked. Kianga wasn't as clueless as she pretended to be. She knew what Negan was doing to their community and although Kianga didn't care, she knew the Saviors would never be the Alexandrians favorite people. She could tell her sister was devoted to this family. Carl spoke of her like a mother, not a stepmother. This is why she didn't know Michonne wasn't a white woman until the Harvest Festival. Michonne appeared with a ferociousness that Kianga had never seen before; this was Michonne's family now. The Anthony sisters would never be the same. "Please let me see Dre. I miss him. I missed you. There have been so many nights I've cried myself to sleep thinking of what became of you, Mike, and Andre, Zahara, Moe, Leizighia, Khadijah, MJ, and baby Maurice, mama and papa. ...you've changed. We don't have to be like before, but... Can we talk? May I just hold him again? Then I'll leave."

"No." Rick said. He wasn't going to put Michonne through the hell he'd gone through with Jeffrey.

"I wasn't talking to you." Kianga had enough of Rick's rudeness. Guns or not, she was Negan's wife. He frequently told her she was "the fucking queen of all this shit", she was going to be treated as such. "I was asking MY sister."

Michonne had been watching the interactions between the Grimes family and her sister. It was obvious they didn't like each other. Like Kiki had observed, Michonne noticed that her sister's loyalties were with the enemy. Kianga liked Negan, maybe even loved him. Her sister hadn't aged much in five years; she didn't have the grey hairs, wrinkles, and scars like she did. Negan had her immaculate and stress-free; there was no anxiety. Kianga was content as Negan's wife. She also had no problems with the things he did. Kiki didn't bat an eye when Smythe was shot; she followed Negan's directions without panic or need for clarification. Their arrangement wasn't against her will. A small part of Michonne wished it was; that way she could rescue Kianga and they would be together again. Michonne couldn't save a sister who didn't want to be saved.

Michonne walked to Kianga and pulled her in her arms. Kianga hugged her back. She only pulled away to look at her sister. Michonne kissed her forehead and temple. "I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Michonne."

"All these years. You were here. How? Just- Are you okay?" Michonne didn't want to lose her.

"I'm okay. I'm okay; I promise. Are you?" Kianga whispered in Michonne's ear. "Because if you're not. You don't have to be here."

"I'm okay."

"Good." Kianga smiled. She wiped her eyes. "Aww..." Kianga wiped Michonne's eyes. "We can't let Andre see us like this. I can't imagine what he'll say. How old is he now? Eight? Nine? Not much of a peanut anymore."

"..."

"What?"

"...Kianga, you won't be able to hold Andre."

Kianga was about to protest when she realized what Michonne was saying. "Oh." Tears pricked. "Michonne, I'm so sorry. Oh my God." Kianga covered her mouth and tried to force her tears to stop. She couldn't. She kept thinking about her sweet nephew: her shy nephew who'd give her hugs then run, that sweet kid who loved the outdoors and getting dirty, one of the nephews she sang to at bedtime. It hurt knowing her was gone. "Excuse me. I-" Kianga went to their bathroom to collect herself.

Michonne watched Kianga retreat and the door slam. She stared at it for a while until she found that eyes were on her. "What?"

"Is your mind changing?" Rick asked.

"No. It's not. But she belongs here." Michonne didn't believe that even as she said it. Her sister was a Savior; she was happily a Savior.

Rick didn't like the thought of Kiki being in Alexandria. He didn't want Michonne to become blinded to the Saviors because of memories. He did the same when his brother walked into his life. Instead of questioning how one man could make in the wilderness alone for so long; Rick saw a shy, nerdy kid who no longer existed. Rick was oblivious to Jeff's psychopathic behavior. Tara paid for his blindness. He still felt guilt about it. There was no such thing as coincidences. Rick wasn't going to take chances with his family. He just needed to convince Michonne. "Michonne, she is in every way Negan's wife. She's not the sister you remember. Trust me I-"

"You walked in my house a year ago after two years out _there_. You weren't the same Rick I remembered, but I still kept you close. No matter what you did, no matter what you said, I kept you close. And you did some fucked up-"

"That's different," Rick protested

"It's not. And if I'm wrong, I'll end her. Just as I would have killed you."

Rick thought about her words the night before he ended his coup on Alexandria. Michonne told him with no uncertain terms that if he didn't leave Alexandria alone she would kill him. She told him that she loved him, but only to the extent that she won't let anything happen to him, but take him down if need be. "Okay," Rick conceded. He didn't like it; but, she had a point. Rick could hear Kianga crying in the bathroom. She was grieving her nephew. Rick felt oddly jealous. This stranger, an enemy, knew more about Michonne than he did. She was sharing her pain in a way he wanted. Rick put his weapon away and focused on his immediate family.

Michonne debated checking on Kiki, but decided against it. There was something she needed to do first. She walked to Smythe and picked up his body. Michonne sighed; "I'm sorry the first time I touch you is to bury you. You've always protected the family. I'm sorry we couldn't protect you."

Michonne was never comfortable with Smythe; her cynophobia didn't subside no matter how useful Smythe proved. He'd protected her family, outside the walls and in. He'd taken down countless walkers, kept them away from dangerous routes, warned them of storms, hordes, and intruders. Michonne had Chenelle live elsewhere because of Smythe. After Miles's birth, Chenelle was living with the Grimes again; however, Smythe stayed with Daryl. It wasn't right.

Chenelle held Miles in her arms and watched Michonne take her Labrador outside. Carl tried to get her attention and gauge if she was alright. She blinked the tears away. She looked at the only person she cared about and concentrated on nothing else. She didn't want to watch her dog being buried so she walked up the stairs with Miles and placed him in his crib. He was still crying. The sound was overwhelming. "I can't do this. I can't do it." Chenelle backed away and into Carl. Before he could ask if she was alright, she pushed past him and ran out. Carl went after her, but stopped himself when he saw her talking to Anna. Anna took Chenelle by the hand and made sure Carl could see them together. Seeing her with a friend he returned to get his son.

To his surprise, Judith was with him. She'd climbed in his crib. She wasn't holding him properly causing his discomfort. Judith looked worried. "He bleeding! He got bit!"

"No, that's not his blood..."

"Oh, it's da bad guy's blood." Judith was sure of it. No bad man could hurt them and get away with it.

Carl wanted to tell her the truth, but knew that the moment he did, Judy would cry too.

* * *

Realizing their home confined them, the Grimes cleaned up and ventured into the festival. The Grimes weren't feeling remotely festive after the clusterfuck they had with Negan. Rick looked over his family; Judith was holding Michonne's hand. The poor child had no idea what was going on. Judith should have been dreaming in her bed. He could tells she was sleepy, but she was holding together for them. Rick was grateful for Michonne's teaching. He wanted to ask how she managed to teach Judith the importance of silence. That lesson stuck even with her time inside walls. Rick wanted to hold her hand, but he needed it free just in case he had to draw his Colt. Michonne looked around their neighborhood. She counted the Saviors she saw and took note of their locations. She was also looking for Kianga. Michonne wanted to talk. How did Kiki end up in Virginia? How she end up with Negan? Where were they staying? Was it true that he had other wives? She heard singing. Michonne's body prickled with goosepimples. It was her sister; she'd recognize that mezzo soprano anywhere.

"Fucking beautiful right? Tell me was she a better singer before this goddamned world went a-fuck, or now?" Michonne said nothing. She looked more through him than at him. "Fuck, well there's a giant fuck you from my in-laws. Is this about the fucking dog? Fucking hell, I can get her a new fleabit fuck if it's that much of a fucking deal."

Rick felt himself go for his gun. "You can't just replace it. That dog was trained. It'd been with her for seven years."

"Way to make me feel like a fucking asshole. Next tribute I'll get her something nice. Fuck, I'll get you all something fucking good. You're my family after all."

"Bad words, mommy. Bad man."

"Well shit, how many fucking kids do you fuckers have?! I turn around another lil' shit appears." Negan bent down to Judith's eye level. "Hi, I'm your Uncle Negan." Judith just stared at him. She didn't say a word. "What's your name kid?" More silence. Negan knew Judith wasn't mute, he'd just heard her speak. She was ignoring him intentionally. She stared at him in a way that reminded everyone of one person. "My, my, she's in every way your daughter, Michonne." Michonne also said nothing. "I really like this fuck town. Hell, Kiki does too. I think we'll stay an extra day."

"Depends where you planning on staying?"

**Later...**

Rick and Michonne were lying in their bed and wide awake. A couple of doors down Negan and Kianga were in Carl's room, in his bed, having loud sex. Michonne wanted to throw up. Not only was their worst enemy in their home, again, he was screwing her sister. _SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SMACK! YESSS!_ Judith was wedged in between her parents. Surprisingly, she was asleep in spite of the ruckus Negan and Kiki were making. This must have been her punishment for not speaking to Negan. Michonne knew this was more than Negan being an asshole. It was a power move. Their _brother in-law_ was letting them know under no uncertain terms that Kianga was his wife. Her loyalties, her body, and her mind belonged to him. He was telling them that he could do whatever the hell he wanted. No walls or doors could keep him out. Negan could screw Michonne's sister in their child's bed and they couldn't do anything about it. They were sure Negan was feeling mighty. They reminded themselves that it wouldn't last.

"Are you alright?" Rick knew this was harder on Michonne than him.

"No," Michonne answered honestly.

"What do you need me to do?"

Michonne closed her eyes. "You can't fix this Rick."

The clamor in Carl's room stopped. After a few soft giggles, a few curse words, and Kianga's moan it became silent. They were done for now. Rick turned to his partner. Before Michonne's reunion with her sister, he thought he'd be the one to have a night of passion with his wife. Michonne looked so beautiful in her up-do and dress. It looked right. Rick always thought Michonne was a natural warrior. He'd never seen anybody with skills like her; she was fast, strong, precise, and stealthy. It was like watching an old artisan work; it made him understand the term martial arts. Seeing her emerge from their bathroom dressed formally, he thought of visual art. He thought of artists who died trying to create the image of the perfect woman and those who tried to sculpt goddesses. She had to be what they were aiming for. It wasn't just her beauty; it was her vibe. Presentation was second nature. She walked with confidence and was assured in her looks. She didn't need to ask him if he found her pretty and she didn't need a boost in her self-confidence. Rick found himself obsessing over her again.

"You want all of me, but I'm still very much a broken person. I don't think I'll ever be whole, not after Andre. I'll tell you if you want to know." Rick wasn't expecting Michonne to speak anymore especially to tell him this. "I'll tell you about myself, my family, before the dead."

Rick thought about her words. She'd been so guarded about her past. "Are you ready?"

"Seeing her, I feel so confused: happy, sad, scared, everything. But I'm sure you felt that with your little brother. It's easier to talk about since my family isn't completely gone."

"Yeah."

"I think I already told you about my parents. They were both immigrants that found their niche in America. My father came from Cameroon and my mother came France. They were really big on education. Any grade lower than an 98 would set them off." Michonne smiled a little. "They would have lost it if they heard I let Carl drop out... There was this one time Kianga pranked them by faking an expulsion from our academy. They were so mad that not only was she in trouble, but me and Zahara too. They whipped all of us and we weren't allowed to watch TV for months. Too much American influences, they said. It's funny now, but I was pissed. I loved music videos and missed like three months worth. Kianga was always getting us into trouble." Kianga brought trouble. Rick was sure not much had changed. "Zahara, our oldest sister, she was damn near perfect. Without trying she made the best grades, was active in nine different clubs in high school and college; she had a five octave vocal range, never really trained. Married her second boyfriend, a doctor, and had four beautiful kids: two girls, two boys. She could cook, clean, anything. All that talent, she chose to be a stay-at-home mother. Not that I blame her. They were wealthy and her kids were geniuses."

Rick loved the way her eyes lit up talking about her past. It sounded like Michonne had a great life before the turn. She clearly loved her family. He hoped she loved Carl and Judith to that degree. Michonne turned to Rick. "Zahara's husband was named Michael Muhammad. Their first son was his junior. She was pregnant with their second son, but I don't know... Anyway, I started dating a man named Michael too. All the men out there and I get stuck on a man named Mike. Kianga said she would find a man named Michael to complete the trend. It wouldn't surprise me if Negan's last name is Michael or Michelson, Michaels. Kianga was always funny. She really livened everything. When I think about my childhood and all the time I spent laughing, most of it was with her, or at her. Kianga made me smile from the moment she arrived. She was so wild and full of life. She was such a cheeky kid, so cute and smart mouthed. She was a trendsetter, the most popular girl in school as a teenager, but still weirdly rebellious. I was all about the academics, but Kianga only did well in school to appease our parents. Kianga wanted to be a celebrity. She tried out for game shows, competitions, commercials, anything to get her face out there. She modeled for a couple years and had minor roles. She never stopped singing or trying. She had a lot of opportunities because she's multilingual. She was always out and about. I travelled for work, but she really travelled. A call at two, three in the morning I'd automatically know who it was." Michonne grew silent. "She dated. She dated a lot, but never had a boyfriend. It was too much commitment from her. She got rid of her sugar daddies for the same reason. To see her married, it's not like her. I suppose she'd say the same about me."

"You weren't married?"

"No. Mike and I, we weren't totally sold on the institution of marriage. We weren't religious and it would just be to appease my parents. With our jobs, there was never a right time to do it. But I did love him. Feelings mean more to me than titles."

"Is that why you never correct me when I call you my wife."

"Part of it."

Rick nodded. "Thinkin' about my childhood, I'd have to say Shane was the one to make me laugh and liven thangs."

"It must have been so hard to kill him, to kill Jeff."

"I don't want you to have to do the same. Do you still wanna go through with this?"

Michonne turned on her back. "I'm going to see this through. ...I know you want to know about Andre. It's still really hard to even think about him. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to talk about freely."

Rick rubbed the side of her hips. "I know. You don't have to force yourself."

"Thank you."

Rick and Michonne sat up for a bit. They still couldn't sleep, but they weren't the only ones with insomnia. Negan and Kianga started messing around again. Rick turned to Michonne. Her face showed no emotion, but he knew it was getting to her. "If it wasn't for her I'd light this house on fire."

Michonne's mouth twitched upward. "Tempting. Very tempting."

"..."

"You want to talk more?"

Rick shrugged. "Sure."

"I don't think I have anything of substance to say. Maybe I'm just fighting sleep."

"It's fine." Rick just liked talking to her. "I admit, I'm a little jealous of your sister. The most you've talked to me is with her in the house."

Michonne frowned. "We've talked before."

"I know, but this feels different. It is different."

"We're different."

Rick leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

**The Next Day...**

The morning came with an awkward breakfast. Rick, Michonne, and Carl were exhausted from not being able to sleep. Michonne said nothing as she made grits and distributed jerky. Kianga came downstairs before Negan. She had a pleasant smile on her face. Her eyes were shining and she was excited to see her sister again. "Good morning, Michonne." Michonne just looked at her. She didn't bother hiding her disappointment and disgust. Kianga frowned and sat down at the table. Michonne gave her a plate, but said nothing. Kianga felt bad. "Please don't hate me."

"You're not stupid, Kia. Why would you-"

Kianga folded her arms. "If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have found you. I know it's childish, but he's given me everything I've ever wanted and more. So if he wants it on this table during breakfast I'll do it."

Michonne didn't understand how her headstrong sister could reduce herself to Negan's plaything. "You're better than this."

"Better than what? Living well? Or what, a man who provides and protects me? Better than a man who treats me decently? Negan's the best."

"Do you know what he's done? What he does to people, these communities? He-"

Kianga rolled her eyes. "Look me in my eyes and tell me you've never overlooked something fucked up your husband's done." Michonne didn't say anything. "Thought so." Kianga started eating. "It's the new world order, Michonne. This works out for all of you, your Safe Zone too. We're Negan's family. He's always going to look after us first. Nobody will be able to harm you."

"Except him," Rick replied.

Kianga shrugged. "Well, yeah."

"Good fucking morning, family!" Negan boomed. Kianga got up and jumped in Negan's arms. He caught her and held her by her ass. "Still walking?"

"Thanks to a bath, not you." She purred.

"Really?"

"Really. Are you hungry or horny?"

"Fucking fuck... Who the fuck wouldn't be horny around you? What do you fucking want?" Every time Kianga was frisky, she wanted something.

She shook her head. "Nothing. But I wouldn't mind some more cock. If you want to give it that is?"

Judith looked confused. "Mommy what's-"

"Nononononononono!" Michonne choked out, stopping Judith from saying her newfound word. Kianga was pissing her off. This was too much in front of Judith.

Negan tossed Kianga over his shoulder and grabbed her plate. "Sorry folks. I gotta feed a fucking cat some sausage. Get it? I'm talking about fucking my wife." With that he took Kianga upstairs and slammed the door.

"...I've never wanted somebody dead so much in my life." Carl said trembling.

**(A/N) Apologizes for the lack of response. I would've updated sooner, but Hurricane Matthew hit.**

_**Next Chapter: A storm blows through Virginia.** _


	19. Before the Storm (Part Two)

Rick watched as the people of Hilltop gathered themselves by the gate. The Monroes were giving their goodbyes to everyone. Gregory took Deanna's hand and kissed it. "I had a lovely time."

Deanna gave him a fake smile and calmly took her hand back. "Hopefully we can do this again."

"Please, let Hilltop host the next soiree. I know a woman who makes cakes that melt in your mouth."

"I wouldn't pass that up," Douglas Monroe answered.

Deanna nodded. "It'll be our first trip out of the gates in a long time. That is exciting."

"Then it's settled. Thank you for your hospitality and festivities."

Gregory shook Douglas's hand and got in the backseat of one of Hilltop's cars. Soon the other people of Hilltop got in their cars or on their horses too. Rick scoured the crowd for Jesus, but didn't see him. Deanna was in place to speak with him privately. The advances of multilingualism were incredible. Scanning the Hilltop partygoers he locked eyes with Gabriel. A year ago he would have hunted him down, but now he realized how crazed his response was. His feelings for Michonne teetered between friendship, love, and obsession. His actions rippled through his family and beyond. Rick immediately noticed the look of sorrow on Gabriel's face. The priest came to Alexandria for one reason and Rick realized that didn't happen. Gabriel truly cared for Chenelle; he assumed they found camaraderie in their shared weakness. Perhaps forming a familial bond like Michonne and Carl. Rick wished he could send her with him, but he meant when he said she was family now. She belonged with them. Additionally, Miles still needed his mother. Even with her meltdown she still sent breastmilk, like clockwork, through Anna. The blonde was more than happy to do so. She would feed Miles, make off-handed comments about her potential maternal skills, stare at Carl, and make small talk before leaving. Rick hoped Chenelle didn't believe Anna was her friend.

Rick walked toward the Grady section of Alexandria. He didn't understand why Chenelle would fly off the handle if she was getting regular therapy. It sounded suspicious to him. Either Dr. Russells wasn't who he said he was or there was something bigger going on with his grandson's mother. That meant his grandson was at risk. Rick was more distrustful of the doctor than Chenelle. Dr. Russells always seemed to press sessions on anyone with a problem. Rick didn't think he needed it; didn't think Alexandria needed it either. He found Dr. Russells outside the medical facilities reading a book. Rick stared at the title, _History of Madness_ by Michael Foucault. Rick was a fairly educated man, but he'd never heard of Michael Foucault. His major was Criminology. The cover made the book look creepy. Rick's mistrust grew. "Chenelle had an episode."

"I heard. Your son came to me earlier, but like I told him, she's fine. Let her grieve. Most likely she'll return in a couple of days after the Saviors disappear. There is a chance that she won't. If she finds a new routine that feels better to her then she won't."

"For a really long time she was good. It's like any disturbance crushes her. Negan shot Smythe right in front of her. He kept Miles from us. Afterward she just ran. I didn't know she would leave her baby like that. I never thought of her being a danger to him until now. Why are you so flippant about this?"

Dr. Russells marked his page and put his book down. "Before she ran, what did she do with Miles?"

"She put him in his crib."

Simon nodded. "Carl said she was still feeding him."

"Yeah, she's sending bottles; but, she's not with him."

Simon picked up his book. He knew after their second session why Chenelle acted the way she did. It wasn't anybody's fault that she would go on tangents when speaking, repeat herself, or switch to Spanish. She rarely looked people in the eyes and she didn't get along with the kids her age. She excelled academically. The late Dr. Anderson had Chenelle as his assistant because her math and science were college level. She was good with animals and babies; probably because they don't talk back. Chenelle had atypical autism. He would help her process stress and grief effectively.

"She's not a danger to her child. I would have let you know if she was."

Rick got a little upset. How condescending. "What is that you actually do around here? Nobody knows the future. You don't know what people will do. Hell, I studied sociology and I still get surprised by what people do. You thank you're so smart, lording like you know it all. Harassing people to make yourself seem more important. You people weren't effective in the old world and you aren't doin' anythang now!" Dr. Russells just listened and let Rick rant. "You can't solve anythang. You couldn't fix the girl. You're not helpin' my wife. What makes you thank you can help me? You can't! And you can't fix this! This shit calls for people like me. It calls for action, not talkin. You need to do someth'en else. I've dealt with this con before. Eugene tried to pull that shit and I saw through him. I see through you too. You can't do shit."

"You're right; there are limits to psychiatry. I don't have all the answers. In this world, people have many coping mechanisms and problems I can't solve. You are projecting many feelings to me. I wish you'd let me try to help you. However, I'm not going to force you into anything." Simon leaned in his seat. "You came to me because you were worried about Chenelle Reyes. She's not broken, but don't expect her to be like other teenagers here."

**Meanwhile...**

Kianga finished showering and redressed. Negan left the Grimes home almost an hour ago. She checked herself out in the mirror before searching for Michonne. The house was silent. She didn't hear the baby or Judith. Carl took them to Carol's home. She wondered how long it would take to find Michonne, but luck was on her side. Michonne was in the living room waiting for her. Kianga's eyes lit up. She thought about the time she twisted Michonne's hair to form her locs. They were down her back, a testament to how long it'd been since they'd last seen each other. Kianga sat on the couch with her. She took a couple of the locs in her hand and smiled. "You should cut them. I know they must be heavy."

"..."

"I know you didn't keep them for me, but it still means a lot to me."

"They were practical. And you're wrong, I did keep them because of you. I don't have any pictures, jewelry, or anything to remember our family by except my locs."

Kianga got sad. "I wanted to lock Andre's hair. Moe didn't want MJ to have them, but you and Mike thought it would be cute once Andre was old enough."

"I know."

"I'm going to have to leave soon."

Michonne was silent for a bit. "Do you have to?"

Kianga nodded. "I do. He has other wives, but I'm special. He has me sing his favorite songs or something new when he's upset or bored."

"...and you're okay with that?"

"As long as I get what I need, the extra details don't matter to me. Now that I know that you're here, I going to go above and beyond. I'm going to keep you safe. Enough about Negan. How did you and Rick meet?"

"First time, Georgia, he helped me after I was shot escaping from a wannabe Jim Jones who called himself the Governor."

Kianga looked shocked. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"You're so strong. It scares me knowing I could have lost you without even knowing it. So what happened afterward? He nursed you back to health and put on that Southern charm, huh?"

"No. Far from it. That was right after he lost his wife. He was harsh and looked for any excuse to get rid of me until he saw I was useful." Kianga frowned. "There was no time for romance. It was just shelter, safety, and survival. We ended up separated for two, three years. I had the kids. He came back and was hellbent on us being a family."

"Why?"

"It was what kept him sane out there. He was grateful that I helped raise them."

"That's... a long time to be out there." Kianga put her head on her sister's lap. They used to do this with their oldest sister. Zahara would rub their heads, give them practical advice, sing, or whatever they needed. They needed it. Each sister was worried about the other. They didn't like who the other was married to. "Okay, okay. I'll stop. I've been watching. You're happy here. Seeing you at breakfast with them, you looked like a family."

"We are. Are you happy, Kia?"

"Yes, I can't imagine my life any different from how it is. ...well I do want to travel more. I used to scout territories, but that's how I stumbled across Negan's group. Just like Alexandria, they made a statement and took half of our things. I used to think Negan and the Saviors were a bunch of savages too. But there are worse people out there; and we were weak. These freaks with W's on their foreheads came through our town. They killed everyone they could, for no reason. They dismembered them and covered themselves in their blood. Worst of all, they let them turn. My friends, my neighbors, my team, just gone. Fifty-three people and only five of us survived. The Saviors came through. They hunted them down one by one. They took care of the dead ones and moved the rest of us to the Sanctuary." Michonne thought about her first group and the fall of the prison. Chaos and death could harden your heart. She was the same before she met Andrea and Rick. Kianga's heart warmed for the wrong person. "Negan asked me to marry him one time. He came personally to our base when we were short twice in a row; I said no. After moving to the Sanctuary and watching it run so effectively, I changed my mind. Plus Negan's wives don't have to work. I pursued him and became wife four." Kianga wanted her sister to understand. "I know it's ass living under him, but you'll never have to worry losing everything now."

Michonne rolled her eyes. Her sister truly believed Negan's rule was best. "I will never accept this. We had a system. It worked."

"It didn't work well enough otherwise you wouldn't have been taken over. I used to think the same." Kianga got up. "I really do love you Michonne, unconditionally. The last thing I'd want is to lose you. You and your family need to accept Negan's rules. Most of those supplies circulate around the Sanctuary, to those who were abandoned or lost their homes. It's not for just a power move. However being that we're family we get first selection of anything."

"Kianga, I love you too, but you're wrong." Michonne and Kianga glared at each other. Michonne scoffed and shook her head. "There was so much I wanted to say to you. But I can't. You're so warped. I feel like everything I said to you would go directly to Negan."

_"And you're the matriarch of the most rebellious people we've encountered. Do you know how scary that is? I want you to visit my home. I want you in my life fully! But now I'm thinking will she try something stupid and try to kill Negan? Would I have to blindfold her so she won't give away our location?_ " Kianga spoke in French to avoid that being heard. The last thing she needed was a Savior reporting that Michonne wanted Negan dead.

"If I had to, I would."

"So would I." Kianga walked to the door. "Look, I don't want to argue with you. I want us to be close again; but, you don't have to like me to breathe."

_"Just know I'll protect you the same. You don't have to like me, but you'll you be breathing."_ Michonne had the same coldness as her sister. For some reason she thought about the time they went to an Usher concert and argued which one would marry him. Now they were glaring at each other in legitimate dislike and mistrust. Kianga didn't dwell too much on Michonne's words. What could Michonne protect her from that Negan couldn't?

"I really wish Zahara was was here."

Michonne smiled. "Or papa. Someone to talk sense into your thick skull."

"Hey!" Kianga grinned. "Not papa. He'd have a stroke. We both married white men." They both laughed. "Maybe he wouldn't care. Best thing about the end of the world is nobody has racial bias anymore. It's just allies and enemies."

"No, you'd be surprised. Let me tell you about a man named Merle."

* * *

Rick was on his way home when his supposed in-law caught up with him. Negan quickly caught up to Rick's stride, a large smile was plastered on his face and Lucille positioned on his shoulder. "Hey Rick." Rick was in no mood. He felt a heavy hand clap his shoulder. "That was some fucking shindig." Negan wasn't surprised when Rick didn't say anything. "The way every fucking body ended up being here. Every fucking town, kingdom, group, tribe, etcetera under my control in one central fucking location. So fucking special... Must've taken planning. You see what I'm getting at?"

"..."

"I like you Rick Grimes. I fucking love our family. And my gorgeous sexpot wifey, she'd fucking die if anything happened to Michonne. But I wouldn't." Rick glared at him. Negan continued to walk with Rick. "I never apologized for your hand."

"Fuck you."

"Damn you're a fucking asshole." The two leaders arrived to the Grimes home. Even before they opened the door they could hear laughter between the sisters. Rick and Negan ogled their women. They were glowing; their eyes were sparkling. They looked happy. Kianga whispered a few words to Michonne; they burst into hysterics. "Fucking beautiful."

The sisters wiped their eyes and looked at each other's husbands. The smiles quickly faded and reality and revulsion crept in. Kianga walked to Negan and gave him a quick kiss. His large arms swallowed her waist. "You're back."

"Sorry Kiki; it's time to go."

She gave him a sad smile. "I know."

"Hey, none of that. You'll be back. Shit, it's not like we don't fucking know where Alexandria is."

Rick looked at Michonne. Gloom crept into her; he sighed. This wouldn't end happily. Michonne gave Rick her own weak smile. "Come on, I'll see you out."

Just like the other groups the Monroes were there to see the Saviors off. It was noticeably political. There was no feeling of comradery between the Saviors and Alexandria. Most of the Alexandrians present were there only to validate the Saviors' departure. "We'll be back in a couple weeks for our shit. I trust the supply will be high since we had time for fucking parties."

"We'll be ready," Rick promised. Alexandria would be ready. They were about to end this.

Without words, Michonne and Kianga hugged; Kiki got in the car and continued looking at Michonne through the window. Michonne knocked on the glass. "How about you stay with us when they come back in a couple weeks."

Kianga was about to reply that she usually didn't interfere with business; she stopped herself. Staying with Rick and Carl without her group didn't sound appealing, but Michonne was her sister. "I'll be here. See you later."

"You better." Michonne felt relief. This meant her sister would be in Alexandria when the poison went to the Sanctuary.

The Saviors got in formation and quickly departed. Kianga watched the gates of Alexandria close. She looked down at her hands. A large diamond sparkled on her left ring finger. Her sister didn't have one. It wasn't crucial, but Kianga didn't like it. She unbuckled her seatbelt and sat on her husband's lap. "Negan?"

"Hmm?"

"When you come to get the shit can I come and stay with Michonne for a little while? She just... It seemed like she really wanted me to be there and it has me worried. I think something's wrong. I don't trust this Rick Grimes character."

Negan let his hand travel up her leg. Her skin prickled. "Well shit Kiki, of course she wanted you to return. You're her fucking sister! And that asshole only has one hand; she's got a sword. He definitely ain't beating her. He can't even beat his dick right."

Kianga straddled him and looked at his lips. "You're right." She kissed him. "You're right." She kissed him again. She gasped when she felt his fingers inside of her. She was sore from the times he ravished her at Alexandria. She put her forehead on his. "Thank you for bringing me. You're a good man, Negan. You really are. You do the shit that nobody else is strong enough or wants to do. You're the reason all these people are alive even though they hate you for it. You keep me safe, happy, and wanting for nothing. I'm going to be a better wife to you. I'm going to do things without expecting things in return. I'm also going to teach you French. That way there will be no secrets between us."

Negan was stunned. He didn't expect her to say anything like this. Kiki was the simplest wife he had. She wouldn't cheat nor plot against him. She'd give him sex and music as long as he gave her material things. She never complained nor cared when he did things or did things to people. There was always respect between them, but now it sounded like she was going deeper. He wasn't sure he wanted that. The last thing he wanted was jealousy amongst his wives. Negan questioned Kiki's intentions. She was manipulative, an actress even before the turn. Negan's instincts were telling him she wasn't acting. He hadn't had a woman look at him like that since his late wife, Lucille. "Fuck."

**Meanwhile...**

Rick and Michonne watched as the Saviors disappeared. They released their held breath and looked at each other. "We need to get started."

"I'm on my way to Eugene's. Our ammo should be fully stocked by the time we leave."

"The timing couldn't be more perfect. When you take the group to put down the ones that linger, I'll stay behind with the kids and my sister and say you're on a run. Although I'm nervous how she'll react when she finds out the truth, she'll be alive to do so." Michonne thought about what she said to her sister. Kianga didn't have to like her to breathe.

**(A/N) So many feel like Kianga's a whore, but I find her relationship with Negan to be healthier than Rick and Michonne's at the moment. Kianga fully chose to be with Negan and vice versa. In contrast, Rick eliminated the competition and claimed a relationship even after she said she wanted to take it slow. It's not until a few chapters ago that their relationship started to become healthy. It's still not perfect, but it's still developing. As bad as Negan and Kianga are for obnoxiously screwing around, it's not the worst thing Judith's experienced. Negan and Kiki are freaky, but Rick almost killed someone Judith loved in front of her. I really made Rick unhinged in this. It's absure whether or not anyone in this story is good or bad. But it's not too late for any character to find their way back to themselves. What do you think? Agree? Disagree?**

_**Next Chapter: A storm hits Alexandria.** _


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